“No,” Emma told her calmly. “Nothing happened. I had a very enjoyable time in the city. If I seem different, perhaps it is because I am eighteen years old now. You haven’t seen me for years—not since I was a child.”
Sigrid frowned. “I wanted to come see you, but that dreadful war prevented it. Carlo refused to let me travel, and of course, I had the girls. I couldn’t leave them. They were only babies.”
“Of course you could not,” Emma said softly, thinking of her nieces with their dark ringlets, clear olive skin, and winning smiles. “I understood why you couldn’t visit and I have no bruised feelings over the matter. But we are both older and much has happened since we lived together in Rosewald.”
Sigrid bent her blond head, staring for a moment at her hands. “Yes, much has changed. You are right.” She lifted her gaze again. “But that is no reason why you should rest in the afternoon when you should be out having fun.”
“Having fun where? Here at the estate? If you must know, the place bores me to tears.”
Sigrid laughed. “It isn’t the city, is it?”
“No.”
“Well, we shall be leaving for London soon, and once we do, I expect you to be more engaged and to smile more too.”
Smile more? The notion made her shudder. Somehow Emma forced her lips to curve upward and her head to dip in a false nod.
Apparently satisfied for the time being, her sister stood. “I shall leave you then, if you insist. Cards tonight, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Yes, cards.”
She could muddle through, she told herself, if only she could have some time alone now.
Sigrid paused again, studying her with kind eyes. “You are sure you are feeling well? You looked quite peaked during your fitting.”
“Yes, I… If you must know, it is my time of the month.”
Stupid, but she’d been disappointed when her menses had arrived a couple days ago. In spite of the appalling furor it would have caused, a tiny part of her had been hoping she was with child. It would have given her an excuse to see him again.
But there was no child.
There was nothing between them now.
Sigrid relaxed suddenly. “Why did you not just say? There’s no need to be embarrassed. We women all suffer. Are you in pain? Poor dear, I shall have a compress and a toddy brought up immediately. Go on. Lie down. I will see to everything.”
Suddenly Emma wished she could tell her sister the whole truth, could go to her and take comfort in her words and her embrace. But she didn’t know if she would receive the comfort she needed or find condemnation instead.
In some ways, she and Sigrid really were little more than strangers; they had spent too many years apart for her to know how her sister might react. She knew Sigrid loved her and meant her well, but as for sharing confidences, she decided her secrets and her sorrow were better kept to herself.
Still, the smile she gave her sister was a genuine one as she turned and made her way to the bed in search of the quiet and temporary oblivion she craved.
Chapter 15
“Ain’t me place ter say, I suppose, but that butler and valet of yers acts more like the lord of the manor than ye do yerself, Cap’n,” Goldfinch said two afternoons later as he and Nick sat across from each other in Nick’s study. “Mind ye, I’m naught but an old seadog and an ordinary man besides, but at least I don’t put on no airs. Don’t rightly know how Bell stands to be around them two blighters—no offense.”
Nick regarded his former crewman over the rim of his whiskey glass and resisted the urge to smile. He couldn’t help but be aware of the chilly treatment Goldfinch had received from his servants when he had once again presented himself on Nick’s doorstep—the front door rather than the back. Symms, in particular, took issue with Goldfinch not using the tradesman’s entrance, though he never complained openly to Nick about the infraction.
For his own part, Nick didn’t care. As far as he was concerned, a door was a door. But the servants had a protocol and Nick respected their need for order. Goldfinch was a guest, however, and should be treated as such no matter his station in life. Nick made a note to himself to have a word with his senior staff regarding the issue.
“Symms and Puddlemere take great pride in their positions, which they have held since my brother’s day,” Nick said. “If they seem high in the instep, it is only because they are fiercely protective of maintaining the dignity of the household.”
Goldfinch gave a snort and took a swig of his own drink. “’Tis yer household. Don’t see how it’s up to them.”