The Prince's Pregnant Bride(45)

The harsh words fell from her lips easily, then hung in the air like a judgment. Cold dread trickled through her. She couldn’t take the truth back now.

“What did you say?” AJ’s voice was low, almost a whisper.

Lani froze. Was he horrified by her blunt confession? Disgusted by her lack of compassion for his dead brother? “I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it. I know he’s your brother and even if he wasn’t I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead. Now you know what I’m really like. See? I’m not nice at all like you thought and I have evil thoughts inside my head and—”

“I hated him, too.” AJ’s words rang bold and clear through the phone.

“What?” She spun around, startled.

“I hated him. Hated him. What did he do to you?” Sudden concern tightened his voice. “Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically, at least not that much. But he was cruel. He’d taunt me and belittle me, then be all smiles if there was anyone around.”

“I don’t believe it.” AJ sounded incredulous.

Her shoulders stiffened. “It’s true.”

He laughed. “I don’t mean that I don’t believe you. I believe you completely, because that’s exactly what he used to do to me.”

“You never said anything.”

“Nor did you.”

“I didn’t want to offend you.”

“Same here.” He let out a loud guffaw. “I can’t believe we were dancing carefully around Vanu’s memory when neither of us could stand him.”

“Your mom has no idea he was like that.” Lani drew in a deep breath. “I didn’t want her to find out, either.”

“I used to tell her, back when I was a kid, and she never believed me, anyway. He was always her sweet little princeling. He really knew how to turn it on when he wanted to.”

“I know. It was like living with two completely different people. The public Vanu and the private one.” Relief rolled through Lani, warm and soothing. “I tried to make him happy, but after a while I realized it was hurting me that made him happy.” She stiffened when she remembered their last encounter, the one that had left her pregnant. Why shouldn’t AJ know about that, too? She didn’t want him to think she’d lain willingly in Vanu’s arms after all he’d done to her over the years.

“I didn’t want to conceive a child with him.” She hesitated for a moment, wondering how he’d take what she was about to say. “He forced himself on me, said he was my husband and could do whatever he wanted. That it was his right.”

She knew it wasn’t about love, or even pleasure, for Vanu. It was about inflicting pain, abusing his power.

“He raped you.” AJ’s voice was hoarse. “If he was still alive I’d kill him. He was a sociopath. I didn’t realize that until long after I’d gone, of course, and had time to get some distance. He’s given me great inspiration for my movie villains over the years. I always thought it was lucky he didn’t have any real interest in ruling the country, or he might have turned into a dictator.”

“I think he was too lazy for that.” Lani laughed, a weird, high-pitched sound, more a release of tension than anything else. “And he really didn’t like people. I suspect he found it a lot of work pretending to be normal.”

“So why did you cry when you learned he was dead?”

“Relief. I was dreading the awful possibility that he’d come back and make me miserable again. All those mornings of waking up to his angry face and hearing him criticize everything I did.”

AJ let out a long sigh. “How come you didn’t tell anyone Vanu was a sadistic bastard? Were you going to stay married to him forever if he hadn’t died?”

Lani blew out. “I was trying to be brave. I didn’t want to hurt your mom and let down the royal family by causing a scandal. My mom always made a big deal about how a woman should never air her dirty laundry. She never spoke about her own marriage and divorce.” She shoved a hand through her hair. “I knew I was taking on a big responsibility when I married the future king. I guess I figured I’d have to live with my mistake.”

There was a silence. “Just like you would have lived with your duty to marry me, if I hadn’t left.”

Lani didn’t know what to say. It was true. As she’d gotten to know AJ, she’d realized the duty would have been a pleasure. She didn’t want to push her luck by saying that, though. She’d called to tell him how she felt about Vanu, not to put pressure on him to do anything about it.