"Hi, Ms. Richards, I'm Dr. Miller. I was the attending on duty when you came into the emergency room this afternoon. How are you feeling?"
"My head still hurts a little, and I'm really tired."
He nodded, then his eyes darted over to me.
"Before we talk any further about your injuries, I want to make sure you're comfortable with your visitor being in the room. There are privacy laws that protect you-"
"Oh, it's fine to talk in front of Devon."
I gave her hand a squeeze again.
"What do you remember from your accident?" the doctor asked.
"Not a lot. I remember standing in the driveway and I was really scared, and then all of a sudden I got really tired, or woozy, I guess. And then I saw dark spots, and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the emergency room."
"Hmmm. Well, the police are going to want to talk to you about what happened, but as far as we can tell, it appears you passed out and hit your head against the concrete upon impact. We didn't have any real information when you were brought in, so we ran some tests to try and determine what was wrong. It's a good thing we did because otherwise we would have taken you to get some X-rays, which wouldn't be good for the baby."
"The what?" Grace asked, her voice shaky and weak.
"The baby. You're pregnant. Based on the hCG levels, you're probably only about two weeks along. Congratulations."
I looked down at Grace and her eyes flashed up to mine, wide with surprise and disbelief.
"But, I can't … . I've never … ." Her words were falling from her mouth quickly, but I could tell she wasn't able to process a full sentence.
"She's been told before she can't get pregnant naturally."
"Listen, I'm no obstetrician, but I can tell when a woman is pregnant, and you definitely are."
"This can't be happening," she murmured. "I don't feel pregnant. I haven't been sick or anything."
"Like I said, it's very early. It probably wouldn't even show up on an over-the-counter test. But blood tests don't lie. It's too early for morning sickness. Give it about three weeks and you'll be sick as a dog." The doctor gave her a smile, but she just looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language. "However, this would explain the fainting. Some women experience fainting spells as a symptom of pregnancy. If it continues, you need to bring it up with your obstetrician. But seeing as how you were in a particularly stressful situation, the pregnancy could explain the fainting. Nothing else showed up on any of our tests to cause any concern."
"No, there's some mistake," Grace stammered, blinking rapidly and looking confused. "Maybe you have someone else's tests results mixed up with mine. Run the test again. I'm telling you I can't get pregnant. My ovaries don't even work. Please," she begged, her voice wavering, "just run the test again."
The doctor's eyes caught mine.
"Could you please run the test again?"
He shrugged and walked to the computer, typing away, telling the nurse to run the test again.
Grace curled toward me, pulled my hand to her chest, and began to cry quietly. I ran my free hand over her hair, avoiding the area on the back of her head that was stitched up, trying to offer any kind of comfort I could.
All the while my mind was running a million miles an hour.
A baby?
Grace was pregnant?
And why was Grace not thrilled to hear she was pregnant? She seemed so upset. Obviously, it was a shock. Was she in shock? Suddenly, I was feeling weak. I looked behind me and saw a chair so I pulled it to the side of the bed, never letting go of Grace's hand, and took a seat.
A baby.
With Grace.
So many emotions were warring for attention in the moment. I was scared, worried, confused, and surprised. But the loudest emotion, the one that was pulling rank on all the others, was elation.
"Everything is going to be all right, Grace. I promise." I just kept whispering words of comfort to her, stroking her hair, rubbing her back, and she continued to softly cry. She cried while the nurse took her blood, she cried while we waited for the results, and she cried when the doctor came back in and confirmed what he'd said before.
Grace was pregnant.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Grace
Detectives took my statement and told me the man who'd shown up at my house was being charged with violating an injunction which was automatic since I'd had a restraining order against him. The guy had been found circling the neighborhood while the cops were still on-scene, stopped, questioned, and then taken into custody.
He'd also been armed.
The thing he was holding onto in his pocket had, indeed, been a handgun.
That got him an extra charge of attempted aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The detective told me the man had crumbled when interrogated and confessed. He also said he'd be in jail for a while, hoping that would ease my fears. And it did to a certain extent.
They'd released me from the hospital the next day after holding me one night for observation. Devon hadn't left my side once.
Prescription in hand for pain meds that were safe for the baby, the doctor told me to make an appointment with my obstetrician in the next four to six weeks. They said the stitches would dissolve, but that I needed to have the wound on my head checked in seven to ten days. They told Devon to keep an eye out for signs of a concussion.
I listened to everything they said, but absolutely could not comprehend any of it.
I was pregnant.
Pregnant.
Me.
Clearly, it was some sick joke.
I was silent the entire way home.
So silent and so out of it, I didn't even realize it wasn't my home we were going to. Devon had driven me back to his house. He opened the car door for me, took my hand as I climbed out, and led me to the front door, not saying a word. He opened the front door, walked me in, and took me back to the bedroom, where I sat on the edge of the bed.
"Where are the kids?" I managed, noticing we were alone.
He looked surprised to hear my voice.
"They went home with my mom."
"But your parents are sick."
"They've got a bug, baby. They'll survive. It's you I'm worried about."
"They were really scared, Devon," I whispered.
"They were scared for you. They were afraid you were hurt. But they saw you were all right, and I feel like you need a minute, or a night, to let your brain catch up with what's happening."
My eyes finally sought his out, and when they connected, they filled with tears.
"I'm so sorry," I cried, the lid finally popping off the container I'd been stuffing my emotions into.
"Sorry for what?" Devon asked as he sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him.
"For everything," I sobbed. "I'm sorry that man came here, that I put your children in danger. I'm sorry I've made such a mess of everything, and now that doctor thinks I'm pregnant and I'm sorry because even if I am, it won't last, Devon. I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant, so this is a mistake. And I'm sorry, so sorry, to bring you into this at all."
"Grace," he said as I collapsed against him, "you need to calm down." Just like he had all day, he ran his hand along my hair, and I had to admit it was soothing, but there wasn't any amount of comforting he could provide that would take away all the fear tearing me apart.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like this, Devon. I wasn't ever supposed to accidentally get pregnant. I'm so sorry."
"Grace, I was there too. We both made the decision not to protect against pregnancy, together. This is something we're in together, 100 percent. I don't want you carrying this weight on your own, because you're not alone. I'm right here."
"You aren't upset that I'm pregnant?" I asked, looking up at him.
"No, Grace. I'm not upset. Shocked? Yes. Surprised? Definitely. But I'm not upset. How can I be? I love you and somehow we made a baby against all the odds. We defied all the doctors who told you you'd never conceive, and our love made a baby. How could I be upset about that?" His hand came to cradle my face and he kissed me so softly it almost made me cry harder.
"I know he did two tests, but I just can't believe it. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach that it's all going to come crashing down and I'll be left without a baby again."
"There are definitely a lot of things that could go wrong, but it could also go right. You could carry this baby and be a mother just like you've always wanted."
I shook my head, more tears staining my already wet cheeks.
"I can't risk hoping for that."
He nodded like he understood and pulled me into another hug.
That night I slept in Devon's arms and in the morning he reluctantly agreed to my plan.
I didn't want to talk about the pregnancy.
Until my obstetrician could confirm it and tell me it was a healthy pregnancy, I didn't want to spend my time planning on a baby. I wanted to live our lives as normally as we could, and tell no one about the pregnancy. The fewer people who knew, the fewer people we'd have to tell when we inevitably lost the baby.
In one afternoon, that doctor had dangled the one thing I'd ever really wanted in front of me, and I couldn't be so reckless as just to grab hold and hang on. I wouldn't let myself be hurt that way again. I couldn't survive that kind of devastation.
Devon didn't like the plan, but he agreed, only if I agreed to some of his stipulations. In order for him to go along with my plan, I had to move in with him. He said he wanted me there every day and every night. I didn't have to officially move out of my apartment, but he wanted me to bring enough clothes over so I didn't have to go there every day, and he wanted us to live as a normal couple would.