The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2)(29)

"You're not. This is a hard situation and you're just being honest. That's what best friends are for. You get to say all the wrong things to me so you don't say them to Devon and screw everything up. You don't want to screw everything up, do you?" Her question was serious and I knew she wanted an honest answer.

"No, I don't want to screw everything up. But I also don't want to be emotionally torn to shreds in a few weeks when he realizes he's still in love with his wife. Ex-wife. Dead wife. Shit." I pulled my knees up to my chest, placing my coffee cup on the table.

"Listen, from everything I've ever heard about Devon, and from the few times I spent any significant time with him, I can tell you I think he's a really decent guy. Like, a really good guy, Grace. And I don't think he's going to break your heart. I do think it's really important that you talk to him about this. Only he can tell you exactly what he's thinking or how he's feeling."

My mind drifts back to our conversation the night before on his couch and I shut my eyes, groaning. I didn't really want to have that conversation again, but I knew she was right. I had to tell him why I was pulling away. If I didn't, eventually I would pull right out of his grasp and he'd have no option but to let me go.

"Don't sabotage a good thing because your ex-husband did a number on you. Don't let Jeff and that Jessica bitch have that much power over you."

I had to laugh at Shelby's obligatory best-friend-mistress-hating skills.

"You're right. I know you're right. But … ."

"What? Spit it out."

"What if I say all this to him and he thinks I'm a terrible person. I feel like a terrible person."

"Grace, Devon loves you. He probably realizes there's something wrong and is waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell him what it is. Put the man out of his misery. The sooner you tell him what's bothering you, the sooner he can make you feel better with his penis."

"Shelby!" I couldn't help the laughter that escaped me, and eventually there were tears streaming down my face. "You're the only person in the world who could say something like that to me and make me laugh. Those words from anyone else would just be wrong."

"Hey, it's my job to make you laugh. It's also my job to tell you when you're being dumb. You're not being dumb yet, but if you don't tell him about all this, you'll be on your way there."

"I know."

"When do you see him next?"

"I'm supposed to go over there after my shift tonight."

"I expect a full report tomorrow. And not just a report about the conversation, although that's important. I put in my best friend time today, doled out my best advice, and I require compensation in the form of sexy details."

"Sexy details? What kind of details are you looking for?"

"General girl talk. Length. Girth. Stamina."

"I'm not talking to you about his girth." I couldn't even say the word without blushing.

"Fine. Be that way."

I sighed, then smiled.

"Thanks for being an awesome friend, Shel."

"Takes one to know one," she said, winking, making me smile even wider.





Work was uneventful, but for the first time all summer I found myself irritated with the bar scene. The tips were good and it helped bridge the gap between the end of one school year and the beginning of another, but there were only so many ways you could tell drunken twentysomethings that you weren't interested in going home with them. Also, the guys who ordered drinks with sexual titles always seemed to think that if you heard them say those words, you would magically fall into bed with them. If I never heard another man order a Sex on the Beach or a Buttery Nipple, it would be too soon.   





 

Halfway through my shift, the bar was packed. The music was loud and the people were rude, and even though it was no different than any other night, it all just rubbed me the wrong way. Next summer I needed to consider finding something different.

A loud crash at the front door caught my attention and I turned to see what was happening, but all I saw was Randy wrestling someone out the door. I shook my head. Randy didn't have to throw someone out every night, but it happened more often than I'd imagined it would. A woman at the end of my bar caught my attention when she waved at me, signaling she wanted to order a drink. I wiped the bar on my way down to her, and then got back to work.

An hour later, Randy appeared at my bar.

"Hey, Grace. Time for break."

"Okay," I said, my head tilting with my confusion. Randy was never the one to send me to break.

"Let me walk you back to the break room."

Nodding, I followed him down the darkened hallway. When we stepped into the small break room he turned around to face me.

"Earlier I had to throw a guy out of the bar."

"Yeah, I saw that. Was he causing problems?"

"It was the guy who attacked you out back a few weeks ago."

His words made all the hair on my arms stand up and my heart plummet to the bottom of my lungs.

"What?"

"Yeah. I saw him a few seconds after he got in, and I grabbed him like that." He said the words with a snap of his fingers. "I don't care if you pressed charges or not, he's not allowed in this bar. But I wanted to let you know he came back. I can't be sure he would have bothered you, but I wasn't willing to take the chance."

"Thanks, Randy. I appreciate it." My stomach was rolling and I was suddenly queasy.

"Did you end up filing a restraining order?"

I shook my head. "I guess I figured I didn't need to."

"Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Yeah. I think you might be right."

"You okay to stay and finish your shift? You can leave if you need to."

"No, I'm all right. I just need a few minutes."

Randy nodded. "You let me know if you need anything, and I'm walking you out to your car tonight after shift."

"You always walk me to my car after shift."

"Damn straight," he said, giving me a friendly wink.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, darlin'."



By the time my shift was over, I was exhausted and just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. But I knew I wanted to curl up and fall asleep with Devon's arms around me, so I mustered up the courage to drive to his house, even though I knew we'd have to talk about everything roaming around in my head.

As usual, Devon's door was unlocked so I let myself in quietly, locking it behind me. He always left the light over the stove on for me, but it was still a dark walk back to his bedroom. On the way, I peeked into Jax's room, noting the nightlight was still on, which was good because if he woke up in the middle of the night and it was off, he'd panic. When I passed Ruby's door I opened it just a crack and watched her for a moment, looking for the silent rise and fall of her chest.

Convinced both the kids were good for the night, I made my way to the end of the hall where Devon's door was. When I pushed it open a wave of humidity rolled over me and I saw him sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Kids good?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah." I returned his smile then placed my purse on the chair by the window. "Why is it so steamy in here?"

"I drew you a bath."

"You drew me a bath?" I asked, laughing at his choice of words.

"Yeah. It won't sound so funny when you're soaking in the hot water with a glass of wine."

"You're right. That doesn't sound funny. It sounds wonderful." I stepped up to him and smiled as his hands seemed to naturally move to the backs of my thighs, pulling me closer. "Are there bubbles?"

"Do you need bubbles?" His hands ran up my legs, fingers sliding under the edge of my skirt, flirting with the lace of my panties.

"Hmmm. Maybe not, but only if you join me." His hands fell from my legs, which I was upset about at first, but he stood, pulling his shirt over his head, and I was too caught up in watching him undress to worry about much else.

We both took our clothes off, eyeing the other, then he led me to the bathroom where the deep, jetted tub was full, steam still coming off the water. And sure enough, in the back corner sat a glass of white wine, condensation forming on the outside of the glass.

Silently, he stepped into the tub, scooting his body back, leaving enough room for me to climb in front of him. Once we were both settled, my back against his front, one of his arms wrapped around the front of my shoulders, his other hand holding mine, only then could I feel myself start to really relax. A few quiet moments passed. I used my free hand to push the hot water up to my neck, loving the feeling of the water lapping against me.   





 

"Tell me what's bothering you," he whispered against my ear.

Taking a deep breath, I prepared to say the words I knew would upset him. "The guy who attacked me at the bar showed up again tonight." I felt him tense beneath me. His whole body contracted, hard like stone. "Randy spotted him before he really got in and kicked him out, but I can't understand why he'd come back."

"We're going to the police station and filing a restraining order tomorrow." I nodded, in complete agreement. "And you're not working at a bar next summer. I don't care what it takes, you're not walking into a place where drunken idiots can get their hands on you all night."

I ran my hand up his arm, trying to calm him. I was upset at first when Randy first told me what had happened, but I'd had a few hours to calm down. Devon was in the middle of the adrenaline rush, at the apex of the rage. I knew he wasn't angry at me, but at the situation, and I just wanted to soothe him.