Did I think much was going to happen in his office in the middle of the day at his hardware store? No. But it would still be nice to have a meal with him, just the two of us.
He filled my plate with my favorite foods, handed it to me, then dished up his own and took a seat behind his desk. I took a bite, sighing in delight, and my eyes rolled back in my head.
"There is nothing better than Chinese food," I mumbled around a full mouth.
"Second only to watching a beautiful woman enjoying it," Devon said with a wink.
"I have no shame when it comes to takeout. It's delicious. I don't care how bad it is for me."
"Grace, I just watched you wrap your lips around that fork and then moan. I'll buy you Chinese food every day for the rest of your life if that's the show you put on."
I blushed at his words but still couldn't find it in myself to be ashamed. So I shrugged and took another bite, loving the way my body reacted to the notion that he was aroused by me. He let out a rough laugh and then sat in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk, taking a bite of his fried rice.
We continued to eat, making small talk about our day. He told me a funny story about Jax and how he went to great lengths to annoy his sister that morning, and I told him about seeing a student in the grocery store with his mother who looked completely wrecked. A lot of the time students behaved much better for their teachers than their parents, so I knew that moms and dads were just as eager for school to start in the fall as teachers were for it to be over in the summer.
We were both laughing when we heard the door ding, but I was caught off guard to hear Devon's father call out from the back of the store, "I got it."
"I had no idea your dad was here," I whispered, mortified. "I would have brought him lunch, or at least made him a plate."
Devon set his lunch down and smiled. "Come here."
I looked out the window to make sure no customers nor his dad could see us, but then made my way over to him, putting my plate down on my chair. As I neared, his hands hit my hips and he positioned me against his desk, rolling his chair forward so that his knees straddled my legs. He looked up at me with lust in his eyes and his hands roamed from my hips down my legs, and up the backs of my thighs. For just a moment I regretted wearing jeans, wishing I'd put a skirt on to feel his fingers against my bare skin.
My breath picked up as his hands moved to cup my ass, pulling me away from the desk. Mine moved on their own and found purchase in his blond hair. I was practically in his lap and his face was mere inches from my sex, and even though I was fully dressed, it still felt dirty and illicit.
"Thank you for lunch," he said, his voice just a breathy growl. He pulled me even closer, his hands spanning the entirety of my ass. "I can think of a million ways to repay you. But all of them involve you out of these jeans and out of this office." His hands moved from my ass, forward, over my hips, his fingers spanning my body in the front, his thumbs dangerously close to the creases of my thighs. I was teetering between wanting his hands there so badly and wanting him to stop teasing me, to stop hinting at touching me in a way he couldn't possibly deliver on as we sat there in his office with his father just outside.
"Devon," I whispered, my fingers still threading through his hair, trying to imply with my tone that I wanted all those things done to me, but just not right that moment.
His fingertips dipped under the hem of my shirt and he slipped it up just barely, then leaned forward and pressed a kiss against my stomach, just below my belly button. His hands tightened on my waist, his mouth pressed against me harder, and he pulled me even closer to him, as if the space between us was offending him.
Two things happened next: my phone vibrated loudly from across the room and Devon's dad yelled for him from the back of the store.
"Devon, you know anything about this sand blaster?"
Devon's head fell softly forward, his forehead now resting against my belly. "Right now, I pretty much hate sand blasters," he said quietly, making me giggle. That only made his head bob against my belly, which made me giggle even more. When he pulled back he had a smile on his face too.
"You go help your father and I'll clean up lunch." I ran my fingers through his hair again, just because I wanted to, but then dropped my hands to my sides, not wanting to detain him any longer. He pushed his chair back, stood, dropped a quick kiss on my lips, and left the office with a smile.
"I'm not finished with you," he called as he walked through the doors, and I couldn't help but smile. There was a small garbage can beneath his desk, so I used it to collect the plates from our lunch, a stupid, lovesick smile on my face, and my phone buzzed again. I dug around in my purse, found my phone, and saw I had two messages from Shelby.
**Hey lady, do you have a minute to talk?**
**Give me a call as soon as you get a chance.**
My best friend radar went on panic mode and I dialed her immediately. The phone only gave half a ring before she answered.
"Hey, Grace. How are you?"
"I'm fine, honey. How are you? What's wrong?" My mind started ticking off all the things she could be calling me about. Had something happened to her parents? Was she sick? Good God, what if it was cancer?
"I'm all right. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah," I said, confused. I sat back down in the recliner and could feel the tension building between my eyebrows, where my face was probably all tense and wrinkled.
"Are you sitting down?"
"Shelby, stop. You're worrying me. What's going on?"
"I ran into Jeff at the grocery store today."
There were many things in my life I'd changed in order to try and never hear that name again, or at least not for a long time. Hearing it caught me off guard and put my whole body on alert, but not the same way it would have three years ago, or even three months ago. I'd moved all the way to Florida to put as much space between my ex-husband and myself as possible, which made me wonder why Shelby thought she had to call me with a status update.
"Okay," I replied, drawing the word out, wondering where this conversation was going.
"He was with Jessica."
Now that name could always get a response from me. Hearing her name had a tendency to make me angry.
"And she was pregnant."
I went completely numb. The only sensation I could feel was my heartbeat pounding in my head, thumping wildly, deafeningly loud. Then my chest began to burn and I realized I was holding my breath.
"Grace? Are you there?" Shelby sounded tiny and very far away. "Grace, it's going to be all right." Her words cracked and somewhere in my mind I knew she was crying. Shelby had cried with me a lot over the years, but when Shelby cried, it was usually because she was worried about me. She'd seen me at my lowest point, the very bottom of a very black hole, and she'd watched me crumble. It was probably difficult for her to tell me this over the phone. She probably wanted to be right next to me when she said those words, to be able to look me in the eye and gauge whether or not I was about to spiral down the rabbit hole again. "Please, Grace, just say something."
"I'm here," I managed, although just those words were almost said in a sob. I needed to keep it together until I could be alone and have the breakdown I deserved.
"She looked miserable, sweetie. Real fat. Not just pregnant fat, but like she decided to eat for five, not two. And Jeff, he looked terrible too. Just awful. Eating for five as well."
I knew all of that wasn't true. Jessica probably looked great pregnant; even if she couldn't get rid of her resting bitch face or terrible personality, she wasn't bad looking. And it would take a lot to make Jeff unattractive. He had those all-American, boy-next-door looks.
"Shelby … ." I wanted to tell her she didn't have to lie to me, didn't have to try and make me feel better.
"I wouldn't have even told you, but I know how word gets around, and I figured you'd rather hear it from me than someone else."
"Yeah." She was right about that. "I know."
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Shel. In the back of my mind I knew this would happen someday. Actually, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner." I tried to laugh, but I ended up crying a little, wiping a tear from under my eye before it could trail down my cheek.
"How can I help?" she asked, and she sounded genuine, as if she really needed to do something to help me.
"There's nothing to do. You've been there for me through everything. That's more than I can ask for." I heard heavy footsteps coming closer and panicked. "I've got to go, Shel. I'll call you later."
"Okay."
I hardly waited for her response before I ended the call, then turned my back to the door and wiped under my eyes again. Devon came in the room and the air changed instantly. Suddenly, everything was tense. He came toward me, his footsteps harder and surer than they were just moments before, and his hands gripped my shoulders. It wasn't painful, but it wasn't soft either.
"What is it?"
"No," I said quickly, trying to put on a brave face. "It's nothing."
"It's something, Grace."
I knew I had to look at him, to show him I was all right, to pretend as if everything was fine, if he was going to let me leave and have the breakdown I needed. So I lifted my face and put on a smile, weak as it may have been, and lied.