“Yes,” he says with equal casualness. “Twice, actually.”
Oh god. An image pops into my mind of James touching himself, my name on his lips as he spills over. I feel myself blush, and have to take a sip of my water to compose myself. Then he asks, “Did you think about me, too?” and I try very hard not to choke.
My mother chooses that moment to poke her head out of the patio door. “Vera.”
“Yes?” I say, trying to breathe.
“Your father has clients coming over for dinner. They’ll be here at six. Please make sure you look nice.”
I roll my eyes.
“And make sure you don’t do that. It’s not polite.”
“Yeah, I know.”
She looks between me and James—who has gone back to cleaning the pool—and gives me a long stare. I know that look; it’s a look that says ‘don’t you dare.’ I pointedly roll my eyes at her again, and she shakes her head and goes back inside. She would come outside right at that moment.
James is looking at me again, and I realize that I have to tell him. I have to, but I don’t want to. Neither of us speak though, aware that my mother is probably observing us. I finish my sandwich. I finish my water. Now I’m just sitting and watching him work.
Okay fine, I’m looking at his body. I am the utter cliché. I’m looking at my pretty pool boy, and I’ve already fucked him.
James puts down the skimmer. “Miss Caldwell, would you be so kind as to accompany me to your garden? I have a question about its care I’d like to ask you.”
What? He knows that I don’t want him to take care of my garden. I raise an eyebrow at him, but say, “Sure.”
He heads away from the patio and I follow him, going around the pool and toward my garden. I turn the corner, but I don’t see James. He steps out from behind the garden shed and catches my hand, pulling me to him. One moment I’m in his arms, the next I’m against the wall of the shed and he is kissing me.
It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the chest. My heart is pounding, my body saying yes yes yes. The part of my brain that’s telling me that we can’t, that we should stop, is being drowned out by the feeling of his lips and the caress of his tongue.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” he confesses, before kissing me again.
“Me either,” I manage.
His fingers are playing with the hem of my shirt, teasing my skin underneath and slowly moving upward. If he keeps going I might very well get my fantasy of him and me inside my garden. But…no.
I place my hands on his chest, pushing gently. “James, we can’t do this.”
“Don’t worry,” he says, that devilish grin spreading across his face, “We’re not going to get caught.”
He leans in to kiss me again and I stop him. “I’m sorry. We really can’t.”
All the playfulness wipes from his face and he takes a step back. “Why?”
“It’s a really bad time for me…” I say, hedging around the reason. “Yesterday was amazing. I just can’t do it again.”
A little laugh escapes him, but there’s an edge to it. “I didn’t think you were one of those girls.”
“What girls?” I ask, my voice coming out harsher than I meant it to.
He shrugs. “A thrill seeker.”
“What?” I’m confused, and defensive. “I don’t under—” I stop as I look at him, the reality of what he’s saying hitting me. “Are you kidding me? You think the reason we have to stop is that I wanted to slum it with you and then dump you?”
He doesn’t say anything, looking at the ground. Anger pours into me, freeing me of any of my restraint. “If it weren’t that I have everything—everything—to lose in the next week, I’d be fucking your brains out right now. But I can’t, because if we are caught, then my father will lose his shit. He’ll go back on his deal with me. He’ll destroy my career before it starts!”
“Vera—” he starts, but I don’t let him finish.
“He’ll force me to do the one thing I will never want to do which is work for him. Because his daughter having sex with the pool guy could get out and damage his reputation—and his business—and you never, ever damage the business. It doesn’t matter what I want, or that I love designing houses for families who deserve them but can’t afford them. It doesn’t matter that I have no interest in helping millionaires looking for their fifth house. My father will own me.”
I know that my voice is louder than it should be, but I can’t stop. “I don’t know what made you think I was the kind of girl who would do that to someone. If you really think that’s who I am then you can fuck off right now. I don’t just go around screwing people. I don’t know why I’m so attracted to you, but I am, and yesterday was amazing and it was incredibly difficult for me to tell you to stop, but we have to.” I’m a bit out of breath now. “In short, that is why I am not currently fucking you in the garden.”