I choose to spend most of my time in the stock room today. It’s needed organizing for weeks, and I see no better time to do it than when I don’t want to meet a potential blind date. The systematic ordering and cleaning helps alleviate some of my nerves. In the front of the store, I hear Ella enthusiastically greet someone, and I know it has to be him. I know Ella, and that’s not the way she greets normal customers. How close is she to this Darren? Am I going to offend her if I say no? Or what happens between us if we go out and I don’t actually like him? My nervousness is back in full force, and suddenly I hear Ella’s voice, “Kara?”
I brush the dust from my hands and make my way to the front, peeking my head out from behind the door to the stockroom. “Yeah?”
“Come meet Darren.” She waves me over. “Darren, this is Kara.”
He reaches out a hand, and as I shake it, I take him in. He’s a couple inches taller than I am, with light hair. A cute face with a good jawline, and he’s in shape. He’s a good looking guy. Though in my mind, when comparing him to a person who will-not-enter-my-mind-at-this-moment, it’s just not the same. “It’s nice to meet you,” I say.
“You too.” He smiles. “Ella hasn’t shut up about you.”
I blush, while giving Ella glare out of the corner of my eye.
“What?” Ella says. “I can’t help it. I like making sure my friends are happy.” She winks at me. “For example, Darren, Kara is working on an amazing Halloween costume. A Victorian ballgown.”
“Really?” he asks. “That’s fantastic. I’m an actor, and I work behind the scenes a lot. So if you need accessories or someone to dress up with you, let me know.”
I laugh. “I will. It’s still in the really early stages though.”
“You’ve got time.”
Someone else comes into the store and Ella glances over. “You two chat for a minute,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”
The two of us are silent for a moment, sharing that awkward smile you share when you both know something but neither of you are admitting it.
“So…” Darren says, “how’s your day so far?”
“Pretty boring,” I say, laughing a little. “Reorganizing the stockroom.”
He gestures around the store. “I imagine it’s entertaining at least.”
“Oh, it is. Before I worked here I had no idea just how many kinds of lube there are.”
“How many?”
I keep my face utterly straight. “About three million.”
“Really?” He looks shocked.
“No,” I say, “but I wouldn’t be surprised.”
He smiles, and I do have to admit that it is a nice smile. “You had me for a second there.”
“I know.” I give him the awkward smile again. “So does Ella already have our first date planned?”
It’s his turn to laugh. “I think she has some ideas, but I’m open to suggestions.”
“I’ll let you know.”
Ella sweeps back to us, and her appearance is like a breath of fresh air. “How you guys doing?”
“Good,” Darren says immediately. “I do have to get to rehearsal though, so I need to head out.” He looks to me. “It was really nice to meet you, Kara.”
“Likewise,” I say.
“Talk to you later, El,” he says as he heads out the door.
The minute he’s gone Ella is practically bouncing up and down. “So, what do you think?”
“He’s nice,” I say, trying to form an actual opinion. “I’m sure he’s sweet. I don’t know that I’m necessarily attracted to him though.”
She nods. “That’s fair. But you guys did just meet. Would you be willing to go on one date with him just to see whether or not it’s less awkward without me hovering?”
“Yes.” I roll my eyes. “I’ll do that. At the very least he’s nice and I think we’ll have a good time. No promises though.”
She puts on a fake pout. “Fine. I won’t start planning your wedding. Yet.” She winks and bounces off, and no sooner is she gone than I hear a voice behind me. “Who’s getting married?”
My whole body tightens, and I turn to find the one person I least expected to see, and the one person I wanted most. Jet is standing in the door.
10
“Hey,” he says.
My mouth falls open, and even though every part of me is happy to see him, every part of me is also pissed. “Hey?” I say. “Hey?” I’m trying not to yell and my voice lowers to a hiss. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in six weeks and you show up and say ‘hey?’”
He has the good sense to look a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I was out of the country, and my international phone didn’t get your messages. I saw them last night.”
I snort. “Out of the country. Right. You know, that’s an excuse that I’ve never heard before?”
“I was out of the country,” he says. “I was in Tokyo and Singapore for work.”
“The work you can’t tell me about,” I say, nodding. “Sure.” There’s part of me that says that he hasn’t lied about anything, but I’ve had enough of that. If he’s going to show up here after all this time, I’ve had enough. I want everything or nothing at all. “And if you got my messages, you know I told you I didn’t want to see you anymore.”
“I had to see you. One more time. To apologize.” He takes a step towards me, and I take a step back, even though my body protests.
I shake my head. “You know, even if you didn’t get my messages, you had my number. You could have called me. Even if you didn’t have it, you knew my name. You could have found a way to get in touch with me.” I start moving around the store, straightening things so I can keep my hands busy and so I don’t have to stare at his stupidly perfect face.
“I did try one night,” he says. “I hoped you would get the message.”
I turn on him. “Playing cross-continental sex toy games with me at three a.m. is not the same as getting in touch.”
“So you did get that message?” He grins.
A blush so fierce it burns rises to my cheeks. “If I did, it’s none of your business. And I swear to god, Jet. If you ask me how I felt using it I will throw you out of this store.”
He follows me around while I continue to clean, staying close enough that I know he’s there, but far enough away that I don’t feel uncomfortable. He peruses the shelves while I straighten, occasionally looking at something or picking it up. Finally, I realize that he’s not going to leave unless I give him some sort of closure.
“Why did you come back at all?” I ask. “It’s been more than a month. You knew we were done. Why?”
As if in answer, he hands me a box. It’s a brand new toy we just started selling, from a brand I haven’t had the chance to research called KINdred Spirit Toys. It’s a couple’s toy, a cock-ring that also vibrates against the woman’s clit. He can’t be serious. “No,” I say.
“You don’t know what I was going to ask.”
I tilt my head. “You were going to ask me to test it and then tell you how I felt while using it. Well I’m not playing that game anymore. You had your fun, and you left. I’m fine with that.” I nearly choke on those words. “But I’m not going to do it anymore.”
Jet smiles, and it’s a little sad. “Well, that’s only partially what I was going to say.”
“Oh?”
“It’s a couple’s toy,” he points to the box, “and I want you to test it with me.”
Okay, he’s right, I wasn’t expecting him to say that.
“I want one more night with you,” he says. “Just one more. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, no secrets. We’ll play with this.” He taps the box, “And if after that, you still want me gone, I’ll disappear and you’ll never have to see me again.” I open my mouth to say something but he holds up a hand, “But, I want you to know, that even if your answer is no and this is the end, I’m still very glad to have met you.” He leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek, and I still love the way his lips feel against my skin. He takes the box out of my hands and goes to the counter where Ella rings him up.
I’m unsure what to do. Part of me thinks I should say no. Even if he was out of the country, it was stupid for him to not try to contact me—three a.m. vibration adventure aside. I should say no because if it doesn’t work out, it will be that much harder for me to get over him, and I’ve already spent so long trying to. I should say no, because I don’t want him to think he can just leave and show up whenever he feels like it. But if I say yes, he promised to tell me everything. If I say yes, I finally get the answers to the mystery that’s been pricking at me since the day I met him. If I say yes I get a night of glorious sex that I may never get to have again. If I say yes, I can always tell him that it’s the end.
Before I know it, I’ve made my decision. I wait for him by the door, debating how I’m going to tell him. He slows as he approaches me, and it’s the first time I’ve seen him look unsure. I straighten my spine as I speak. “One night. No promises.”