Another memory pops to the surface, Bryan chastising me for being loud on multiple occasions. He said it was distracting, and unsexy. I’ve been quiet during sex ever since. I’m not sure why I thought that was okay. I guess I just loved him enough to ignore it. I guess I loved him enough to ignore myself entirely. To not realize that I wasn’t the problem.
“Where did you just go?” Philip asks.
I edge myself closer to him again, and I let him kiss me. The world isn’t ending, but it’s still a damn good kiss. “Thank you,” I say, “for saying those things.”
“Do you believe me?” he says.
“Yes,” I say, and I do.
“But?”
I sigh. “But when you know someone that well, it’s hard not to think there’s some grain of truth to what they say.”
He frowns. “He’s wrong, Mayra. That and whatever else he said about you, he was wrong.”
“You’ve only known me for a day.”
“Even if I’d known you a year he’d still be wrong.”
I smile, his words settling in my chest, warm and perfect. Curling into him, I finally give into the temptation of a nap. “I’m so tired,” I say. “I slept terribly because of you.”
He perks up at that. “How so?”
“Ask me when I don’t so desperately need a nap,” I say.
He chuckles, and I feel him pull a blanket up over the two of us. “You can count on that.” He says, but I’m already fading away.
10
Philip
Mayra falls asleep faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. I almost wish I could take a nap with her, but I couldn’t sleep now. How could I? I’m fucking electrified. I want to run a marathon and climb a mountain. Both to celebrate how amazing that was, and also take out all the incredibly violent instincts I’m having towards her ex. The guy needs a good punch in the face. Or ten. Even if someone is bad in bed—which Mayra is the furthest thing from—what gives you the right to shatter their self-worth? If you need to break up with someone, break up with them. But the least you can do is acknowledge that break-ups suck and try to get out with as little damage to both of you as possible.
I’m so angry at the man, and yet, there’s a part of me that’s grateful. If he hadn’t been a complete and utter dick I wouldn’t be in this bed right now. Mayra rolls over in her sleep, and I pull her in so her back is against my chest. I like the feeling of her breathing against me. After so many months of not feeling anything—and not admitting that I wasn’t feeling anything—it feels like I’ve found a crack in the ice. I know Mayra isn’t some magical key to unlocking my soul, but just knowing that I can feel like this…I didn’t want to admit that I had given up hope of that.
I’ll have to tell Christa that I don’t need her to put in a good word for me now. In fact, maybe I can convince Mayra to go with me to check on Christa later this evening. The thought of taking her with me to go anywhere feels good. It feels right. I examine this feeling, trying to discern whether or not this feeling is just because of the sweet relief of connection or something deeper. I’m honestly not sure which one I’d rather it be. For the moment though, I’m perfectly happy holding her against me, letting her sleep. In my struggles with nightmares, I’ve learned that it’s hard to sleep if you don’t feel safe. I like knowing that I make her feel safe.
Curling my arm around her stomach, I tuck her more solidly against me, listening to her breathe and settle in to wait.
In spite of myself, I do doze for a while, though I never let myself drift completely off. It’s a couple of hours before Mayra stirs in my arms, stretching and turning so that she’s facing me. Her eyes are still heavy with sleep, but she’s smiling. The sense of rightness flows through me at knowing I’m the one that put that smile there.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hello.”
“I slept.”
I grin, pulling her in to kiss her. “You did, and you were damn sexy while doing it.”
“How can you be sexy while sleeping?” She laughs.
“You were naked and pressed against me—believe me it was sexy.” I feel my cock stirring, and she does too.
Her eyes widen. “If you make me come again right now I might explode. I’ve already had more orgasms in one day then I’ve ever had.”
“Three is the most you’ve had?” I feel my eyebrows raise.
That telltale pink colors her cheeks. “Four.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “When was the fourth?”
“At the gym.” She clears her throat, “In the locker room. With the Mustang.”
A laugh bursts out of me. “That’s bolder than I was thinking.”
“I forgot I had put it in my purse, and I found it while I was at the gym, and after the night I’d had—”
“You mean where you dreamed about me?” I lean back and pull her over on top of me, and I feel her nipples harden against my skin.
She huffs a laugh. “Yes.”
“What happened in these dreams of yours?”
“Pretty much exactly what happened,” she says, leaning down and pressing her lips to my skin. She drags her lips along my collarbone to my neck, “but the real thing was better.”
“I would hope so.”
She continues her exploration of my skin. Her lips are soft, and I want them on my cock again. The thought makes it harder, and I’m glad she can’t see how much I’m tenting the blanket right now. She might think I’m sex crazy. “I wanted to ask you something,” I say.
“Sure.”
“The teacher that got sick, my friend Christa,” I say. “I’m going to check on her this afternoon, bring her some food. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?”
Her head pops up, a big smile on her face. “You want me to go somewhere with you?”
“Yes.”
She nods. “That would be fun. And I suppose that I should thank her for getting sick, even though that sounds dumb.”
“I was thinking the same thing about your ex,” I laugh, “even though I want to punch him in the face.”
Mayra laughs, pressing her lips into my skin. “I think I’d kind of like to see that. Honestly, he’d probably run away.”
“What’s his name?”
“Bryan.”
I nod. Adding together his names and his actions, he sounds like a pussy. I don’t say it out loud though. “Well, if we ever run into each other, I guess we’ll find out what happens.”
“Well I’m hoping not to see him again,” she says cheerfully, rolling off me. “What kind of food do you want to bring to Christa?”
I should answer, but I’m distracted by Mayra’s naked body. She pulls open a drawer, and retrieves some underwear. I swear, watching a woman get dressed is almost hotter than watching her get undressed. Especially when you can now look at her and know exactly what she’s hiding underneath, what she feels like, how her skin lights up under your touch. She slides on her panties and a bra, and I get lost in her curves, she turns and catches me looking. “Sorry,” I say, “did you ask me a question?”
She laughs. “What kind of food for Christa?”
“I brought her soup last night, so maybe something with more substance.”
“There’s an organic restaurant down the street,” she says, pulling on a pair of jeans. “They have really great things like smoothies and stuff, would that work?”
I nod. “Perfect.” But I’m still engrossed in watching her dress. She pulls on a loose sleeveless shirt that shows off her shoulders and cleavage and flows around her waist. It makes her look carefree and so much happier than she looked yesterday.
“You should get dressed,” she says, smiling at me.
“I’m still hoping that I’ll be able to convince you to get back in here,” I say, “We can test just how many orgasms you can have in a day.”
Mayra climbs onto the bed, crawling over to me and climbing on top of me. I grab her hips, letting my cock press against her jeans as she kisses me. It’s a deep kiss—the kind of kiss that promises something. “That’s very tempting,” she says, “especially since you’re still naked.”
“It doesn’t have to be a temptation.”
She rolls off me again, avoiding my attempt to pull her back. “My vagina isn’t made of glass, but it does need a rest.”
I grin at her. “Sounds good. Because rest gives me hope for tonight.”
“Get dressed,” she says. “I’ll grab the menu.”
She heads out into the kitchen and I force myself up off the bed. As I pull on my shirt and pants I wonder about how I feel right now. I feel like it’s been overcast for months and the sun has come out. I wonder if it’s possible for me to feel like this all the time. I hope so.
I really hope so.
11
Mayra
Christa’s house isn’t too far from mine, given the spread out nature of L.A. Philip and I picked up some grilled chicken and vegetables for her from the restaurant down the street, and I insisted on getting her a smoothie. I have their smoothies all the time and they’re delicious.