He finished his free-weight repetitions and returned to the suite. He spotted Bella asleep, propped on the couch. His throat tightened with an odd emotion. She looked so sweet and vulnerable.
He bent down beside her and just looked at her for a long moment. Her dark eyelashes fanned out from ivory skin with just a little pink from the Cayman sun left in her cheeks. He felt a stir of pleasure at the memory of how much she'd enjoyed the short trip. He'd already made an offer on the house. He would take her again and other places, too.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, touching her soft cheek.
She stirred, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. "Hi," she said in a husky voice.
"Hi to you. What are you doing out of bed? This is no time for angels. This is the time of demons," he said. It had long been the hour he'd chased the demons from his mind.
"I didn't want you to start work without getting to see you," she said, lifting her arms.
Unable to refuse her, he sat on the couch beside her and held her. "I do have work to catch up on, but I won't be in the office all day."
"That's good," she said and looked up at him. "I'm going to visit my aunt today. I feel like I should check up on her to make sure she's okay."
"Any reason to believe otherwise?" he asked.
"No, but she was such a faker when I was overseas, I'm determined to keep tabs on her now."
He chuckled and nodded. "Fool me once, shame on you," he said, quoting the old proverb.
"Fool me twice, shame on me," she finished and sighed as they walked into his bedroom. She looked up at him. "I forgot to thank you for coming to the wedding reception last night."
"I wish I could say it was my pleasure."
"Me, too, but after what Stephen said-"
He pressed his finger to her lips. "Don't think of it again."
She winced. "I can't promise that, but I'll try." Her face turned solemn. "I love you," she said.
His heart stopped. She pronounced it as the sun rose, illuminating the room. Bold and brave, she blew him away. He didn't know how to respond.
She bit her lip. "I thought I knew what love was before. With Stephen."
His stomach twisted and he felt his hands draw into fists, but he held his tongue.
"But I didn't," she said. "I can't remember wanting someone else's happiness more in my life. Ever. I would do anything for you to feel happy and at peace. I love you."
Overwhelmed by her profession, he pulled her against him. Humbled, but unable to offer her the same, he slid his fingers through her lush hair. "You're so sweet," he said. "So precious. I've never met another woman like you." He held her close for several moments where his insides twisted and turned. "You had a rough day and night. You should get more rest," he said. "Go back to bed."
She looked up and met his gaze, and he knew he hadn't given her what she wanted. He knew she wanted more from him. What she didn't realize was that he didn't have it to give.
Bella returned to Michael's bed, but her slumber was filled with strange dreams. When she rose a couple hours later, she was more tired than rejuvenated. She also felt her profession of love sitting between her and Michael like an undigested Thanksgiving meal. Heavy and uncomfortable.Well, now she'd gone and done it. She'd blurted out her love to him and he didn't know what to do with it. The awkwardness of that moment hung over her like a guillotine. Why had she done it? Because she couldn't stop herself. A dam had broken open inside her.
With a mixture of humiliation and disappointment, she got herself together and drove to visit her aunt. Bad move. Charlotte's boyfriend, Fred, answered the door.
Charlotte soon followed, wrapped in a long silk robe. "Bella, I didn't know you were planning a visit. Come inside." Her aunt dragged her toward the kitchen.
"That's okay. I don't want to interrupt," Bella said.
"Nonsense, Fred was just going to take a shower." She gave him a quick kiss. "Let me get you some orange juice and blueberry muffins. I want to hear about Grand Cayman," she said, heading for the refrigerator. "Should I go?"
"Yes," Bella said, stunned at the speed of her aunt's developing relationship with Fred. "It's beautiful."
"Even for the not obscenely rich?" Charlotte asked, handing Bella a glass of orange juice and some muffins.
"Yes, even for the middle class. The water is warm and clear and the waves gentle. There's a place that looks like lava where the water spouts. And they have great food. Low crime." She took a sip of orange juice.
"Sounds like heaven. So, has Michael asked you to marry him?"
Bella choked. "No," she managed.
"Why not?" Charlotte demanded.
"What about you and Fred?" she asked, changing the subject.
Charlotte waved her hand. "He has asked, but I'm procrastinating."
"Why?" Bella asked. "Don't you like him?"
"Yes, but marriage … I did that once and it didn't turn out well at all."
"Do you love him?" Bella asked.
Charlotte paused. "I think I might," she admitted. "But if I get sick again?"
Bella covered her aunt's hands with hers. "I hope you won't live your life that way."
Charlotte took a deep breath and shot Bella a sly smile. "And here I thought we were talking about your romance. How did we get off track?"
"We're not," Bella said, forcing a smile. "Michael's not the marrying kind. I'm not sure he even believes in love."
"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry," Charlotte said. "And I pushed you into this."
Bella shook her head. "No, you didn't. I went into it on my own. He's from a tough background. I can't really blame him."
Charlotte's eyes filled with tears. "I wanted you to get over Stephen. I knew he wasn't right for you. I had this feeling about Michael. I'm sorry."
Bella shrugged. "Stop it. He's an amazing man. I just don't think he's interested in forever after."
"Are you going to break it off with him?" Charlotte asked.
Bella's mind reeled at the thought. "Oh, wow." She shook her head. "I'm not there yet. We'll see."
Fred returned from the shower. "Any blueberry muffins left for me?"
Bella smiled, but her heart twisted. She couldn't help being happy for her aunt. Charlotte had been through so much, and now she had a man who clearly wanted to be with her regardless of the iffy future.
On the other hand, Michael was a man who didn't believe in love, and Bella feared he never would.
Fourteen
O ver the next seven days, Bella waited. She held her breath waiting for a true response from Michael. Something more than him ignoring the love she'd professed to him. But each day and night he said nothing different. He praised her beauty, made love to her, but avoided any real emotional confession.
For Bella, every minute that he ignored her confession she felt her hope grow smaller and smaller. Did her feelings mean so little to him? Did she mean so little to him?On the eighth day, she gave it another shot. They'd made love and he lay sated beside her. She stroked the angles of his face, his hard jaw and sensuous mouth. "I love you," she said, not whispering this time.
He closed his eyes, and she wasn't sure if he was savoring her words or steeling himself against them.
She held her breath, waiting, again.
He tucked her head beneath his chest. "Such an angel," he said.
She felt his heart pound against her ear, but heard no other words, and she quickly realized this was an evasion. He didn't want to tell her that he didn't love her.
Her heart hurt so much she feared it would explode. She had made a huge mistake by being honest with Michael, but she didn't know how she could go back.
After the tenth day of Michael leaving early for work and returning late, Bella could no longer avoid the truth. She had changed things by telling him she loved him. She couldn't go back, and Michael could only pretend so much. She couldn't stand the idea that he wanted to avoid her.
She felt a combination of humiliation and disappointment with a dash of abandonment. Oh, quit being a baby, she told herself as she rose from his bed long after he'd left. She stroked the pillow where he'd slept, dipping her nose to breathe in his scent. She'd messed up.
She should have kept her mouth shut. She never should have admitted that she loved him.
Michael didn't know how to handle that. He didn't understand the concept of love. He'd grown up needing and wanting, but not getting. Now it was too late for him to truly receive. He couldn't bear her words or the deep emotion they conveyed. She'd shattered the fragile balance of their relationship.