He chomped on a chunk of now melted ice and tossed the rest of the snow cone into a nearby garbage can. "The usual. She's looking for the declaration of love, the big commitment, happy-ever-after, the whole shebang. Stuff that I can't offer."
"Huh." She licked her cone again, barely stopping a drip from reaching her hand.
He knew his sister. No way was she done. And the longer she stayed silent, the more jittery he was getting. Fine, he'd bite.
"You don't have anything to add? No helpful tips or an offer to analyze my dark demons and figure out why I'm such a tragic figure?"
She scrunched her nose. "Sheesh. You sound like my high school English teacher wanting to delve into that horribly depressing book what was it? Oh. Ethan Frome. I can't remember. Did he die at the end? Or was he the one physically maimed forever?"
"I must have missed that one." He waved to Ella, who'd turned around with unadulterated delight after the sea lion passed right in front of her, looking almost like he'd smiled.
"Sorry, I've got nothing for you. Who am I to talk about happily-ever-after? But I've got Ella, and I think that's all I need."
That was a topic for debate, but since he wasn't in any position to critique her dating life without inviting the same, he stayed quiet.
It wasn't until they reached the polar bear exhibit that Morgan tried to broach the subject again. "It's actually too bad. Ella and I really liked Benny. And I could tell you did, too. I mean, don't get me wrong, neither of us know what a healthy, loving relationship looks like by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd venture to say what I saw between you two was closer to anything I could ever wish for. Maybe not exactly the gushy crap like in all those Disney shows you used to watch with me. But close. And the fact that she didn't hang on your every word earned her a few extra brownie points."
Yeah. Benny did tend to call him on his bullshit without blinking an eye. It had been a refreshing change, really.
"Did I mention that I met Ella's new teacher? She's pretty cute, and I'm certain she's single. Maybe you might want to pick Ella up after school some time and check her out."
That was it? His sister had already moved on, not even a little more disappointed to see that the best woman he'd ever had the luck to spend time with had dumped his ass? Who this very moment might be still snuggled in bed with the humanitarian of the year-oh. Except that she was probably at her dad's big surprise party right now, celebrating the man's life. Maybe playing a game of Twister or badminton with her family.
Had she brought Luke with her? Was he, even now, in the middle of a scrimmage with her brothers, pretending they weren't out for blood?
The thought made him crazy sick with jealousy. And a little sad.
It should have been him.
He should be there.
He should be telling Benny she was beautiful, whether she was in scrubs and a ponytail or those silly slippers and her hoodie. Waiting for the next outrageous comment that would come from that lovely mouth.
Why had he ever told her that men liked women who hung on their every word, shared the same interests, even if they had to pretend?
Why had he thought she needed to be anyone else but herself?
She was perfect just as she was. Ponytail. No ponytail. Scrubs or no scrubs. Pj's or teddies or, preferably, nothing at all
Ahead of them a little boy, no older than three, was balancing on the head of a statue of a bear. As expected, his foot gave out, and for a terrifying moment, he was sure the kid was going to crack his head open on the asphalt under him. But two arms reached out and grabbed the tyke before disaster could strike, and the man who Henry presumed was the kid's father easily slung the boy to his shoulders. The woman next to him wrapped her arm around him and smiled up at the two obvious loves of her life.
He watched as they mouthed the words I love you and continued in step to the next exhibit.
And more than anything else in the entire world he wished, right then, that he was that man. That Benny was that woman. That the two of them could smile at each other, each certain of the other's love.
That it would be forever.
Forever.
Something he had been so certain he couldn't offer to anyone. Or that someone could offer to him.
So he'd chosen to be alone, instead of embracing what he could have, for however long.
Chosen to never have another moment when Benny's hand rested perfectly in his, or she turned those clear, mischievous blue eyes to his and grinned, or said something so crazy and hilarious that he could only laugh and look forward to what she'd say next.
He'd said no. Said no to the possibility of forever. He'd said no, because what kind of guarantees were there in life of anything, least of all someone's continued love and affection?
Well, save for one exception.
Henry knew, without a doubt, that no matter what crazy thing that woman said or did, he would never stop loving her.
He loved Benny Sorensen. And he would love her until he could no longer draw breath. He wanted to wake up with her at his side every morning, and he wanted to end every night with her next to him-or under him or above him.
Wasn't that something worth risking any possible heartache on?
Because this past week had been hell. Pure hell. And if this was his future, then what was the point of anything?
Only he had really blown it. Pushing her away, making it clear that there could never be anything more than friendship between them. He'd been a complete schmuck. Too afraid to recognize what was right in front of his face. He was already head over heels in love with the woman. She'd been right. He was a coward.
But not anymore.
No matter if she-or her brothers, or even Luke-sent him packing, he had to let her know that she was the only one for him and he was certain he was the best man for her. He had to convince her that he loved her quick wit and sauciness, her refusal to bow out of an argument, that he didn't care if she wore ratty pajamas every day for the rest of her life, that he wanted her and only her.
"Hey, Morgan?" He looked back to where his sister was hand in hand with her wilting daughter. "You two ready to go? I have somewhere I need to be."
She didn't even blink. "Whenever you are."
Morgan smiled in bemusement as they pulled up in front of the house brightly decorated with balloons and party banners. The unmistakable sound of a mariachi band was coming from the backyard.
"Ella's still napping. Why don't you head in and I'll go around the block a few times. Not that I wouldn't give anything to hear what you're about to say."
Henry climbed out, careful not to slam the door and risk waking his niece. He stood there for a minute, preparing himself to head inside to face whatever was going to come his way.
Benny was here. And the sooner he told her how he felt, the sooner he could breathe a little easier. Or at least a little less painfully.
Entering the backyard from the side of the house, he followed the steps until he was on the lawn, looking out over a dozen tables overflowing with guests. The mood was happy and energetic as people laughed and visited with each other, some of them even dancing, and he tried to take heart in that energy, hoping that maybe it would make Benny more susceptible to what he was about to say.
He wandered around looking for a familiar face to ask the whereabouts of the woman he was here for. Hopefully they didn't want to bash his face in.
At one table a priest laughed with a group of older couples, all of them enjoying salt-rimmed margaritas. Something he could use about now after the oversweet, melted snow cone he'd had at the zoo. Benny's dad was the first person he spotted, seated next to another blond figure so similar in size and coloring he was left no doubt as to their relation. Henry didn't want to intrude there, though, so he moved on.
A small hand tugged on his, and Henry looked down to see Natalie, Benny's younger niece, staring up at him. Her hair was pinned up, and she was smiling at him like he was some kind of rock star. At least she was glad to see him.
"Hi, Natalie. I almost didn't recognize you, you look so grown-up. I was looking for your aunt Benny. Have you seen her?"
"She and Mama are in the kitchen."
"Thanks. Make sure you save a dance for me." That was, if he wasn't thrown out before then.
He climbed the stairs of the deck and slipped inside the house. Several more unfamiliar faces met his-from the logo on their aprons, he took them to be caterers. He squeezed past the crew working to fill bowls and trays with food at the dining table-only it was a larger and newer table than the one he'd seen on his last visit, and he recalled Benny telling him that Dominic had custom made it as a surprise.
The sound of laughter brought his attention to the kitchen. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as he saw her, standing with her sister placing candles across the surface of a cake.
Benny. The look of happiness and joy that radiated through her entire being was hard to miss as she threw her head back in laughter at whatever Daisy had said.
She was lovely.
Engrossed in conversation with her sister, she still hadn't noticed him, even as he drew close enough to reach out and touch her. Daisy caught sight of him, however, and instantly her eyes widened in surprise and then speculation as she glanced at her sister. They both waited for the moment when Benny finally looked up to see what had captured her sister's attention.
Their eyes met, and he saw a flicker of surprise as her eyes widened twice as big as Daisy's.