"What would you think if I told you that I haven't been very up front with you? Maybe even a bit misleading."
"I don't think I follow."
"Okay. Let's start with the sushi. I loathe it. The look, the smell, the taste and consistency. Most of the time, I prefer my seafood well cooked or slathered in mayo on a sandwich. And up until a few weeks ago I hadn't owned an eyelash curler, let alone used one. Then there's golf, a sport I only took up in the first place because I wanted to impress you."
He looked thunderstruck. "Why would you do all that?"
"I guess I wasn't convinced that you'd find me interesting enough or pretty enough just being me. But over the past couple of days, as we've grown closer, I've come to realize that you aren't really getting to know the real me. That for so long I wasn't even sure if the real me was worth getting to know." She held up her hands as he looked like he was going to disagree. "I know, that sounds really pathetic. But it was true. It's only now that I'm finally able to recognize that maybe the old Benny wasn't so bad after all. The real Benny would have told you she hated sushi and told you she didn't know how to golf or think it was a very interesting sport."
"You think I wouldn't have liked you if you'd told me these things? That I'm so superficial that I'd have rejected you?" He actually looked affronted. Rightfully so. "That's crazy."
"It is crazy. Which is why I think that until I'm more comfortable in my own skin, confident in who I am, you and I should probably take a step back. Maybe just try being friends for a while."
He was staring beyond her shoulder, as if still processing what she'd said. He was going to need time. And she was okay with that. She needed it herself.
She came to her feet. "I am sorry for leading you on like this, Luke. I really am." And she was, even if she'd had the best intentions. "I hope that, maybe with time, you and I can become friends. Because you're a really, really great guy."
He nodded, finally meeting her gaze. "I'd like that," he said and smiled. Not a bright, all is forgiven smile, but it was slight and sincere all the same.
The weight she'd been feeling these past few days-likely the guilt for her deception-was suddenly gone and she felt the tiniest bit better. It was good to finally be honest with people again.
"Okay," she said, returning his smile. "I'll catch you later."
She stopped short a few feet outside his door, however, when she nearly ran into Roz. For a moment, the woman's eyes widened, and she looked slightly uncomfortable.
"Morning, Dr. Sorensen," she said stiffly.
"Morning, Roz," Benny returned. She had some suspicions as to whether the woman had overheard her conversation but it didn't bother her. It wasn't like her feelings for Luke had ever been a secret around the office. Or what she thought she'd felt for him anyway.
The woman didn't rush away as Benny expected, though, instead taking a moment to study Benny as if for the first time. Then just before it became awkward, Roz nodded briefly with something that almost seemed like approval, and walked away.
Benny shook her head, not even trying to understand what happened but feeling a sense that she'd somehow finally gained Roz's approval.
She continued to her office, relieved to finally reach the sanctuary. She shut the door and sank back against it, processing her morning.
Hearing Luke describe how it was her finally having the confidence in herself to speak to him that first brought her more firmly onto his radar confirmed what Daisy had been saying. Benny had been selling herself short for too long.
She hadn't realized that maybe being herself was enough.
Not to say she was going to do a complete 360 and revert back to wearing scrubs on a daily basis or not giving a hoot about her appearance. But she could see now that by eschewing those things, she'd been hiding. That she had been the tiniest bit afraid that people would think she was trying to be something or someone she wasn't. That she was a fraud.
She'd been wrong. There wasn't anything wrong with wanting to look her best. With wanting to feel a little pretty. It made her feel good about herself, gave her confidence in ways she hadn't appreciated before.
So even though half the crap that Henry had dished out might have been completely moronic, half of the crap had actually also been right.
Henry.
Her heart felt heavy when she conjured his face. His voice. His touch.
Tears swiftly swelled but she whipped her hands up to wipe them away.
Stop.
She couldn't break down again or she might not be able to hold herself together. It had taken every ounce of her strength to get out of bed this morning and push him and the memory of his rejection to the back of her mind.
But it didn't mean she didn't feel the pain.
The only solace she took from the evening was that she'd laid out her feelings, told him everything. She'd been honest with him. Even if he wasn't able to say the same things back.
She sniffled and took in a deep breath.
There was one more thing she had to do to fully move on. To protect herself from the pain she'd experience every time she saw Henry, whether alone or with another woman. She glanced at her watch. She had two minutes left to still do it.
Pulling her cellphone out of her pocket, she dialed the number she'd thought she wouldn't need again for a very long time.
Voicemail.
She took a breath. "Hi, Vivienne. It's Benny Sorensen. I need your help again. I'm putting my place back on the market."
It was nearly noon on Saturday when Henry stumbled from his apartment with a bag of garbage, the remnants of a large-albeit quiet-party he'd had last night to try and fill the void that had taken a permanent place in his life since Benny had walked out his door the week before.
It was like she'd disappeared off the face of the planet.
But she was safe, he knew, having texted her Tuesday when he still hadn't seen or heard from her only to be told in a short text she was staying at Daisy's for the week.
It still hadn't stopped him from cricking his neck every morning and every evening when he reached the parking garage, hoping for a glimpse of her or her car so he'd know she was back. He couldn't help stepping off the elevator and wondering if he'd spot her, maybe getting her mail or getting some things from her place. But nothing.
So he'd tried to fill his time with dates and parties and evenings out with his friends, anything to take his mind off the fact that he missed her.
He missed Benny. He missed her smile, her brilliant blue eyes, her sharp wit and way of cutting through the bullshit, the way she made him laugh, the ways she smelled and tasted the list was endless.
Hell. He drew his hand through his hair. This entire week hadn't gone anywhere near how it should have. With the letter from the home owners' association confirming that all complaints against him had been withdrawn and there was no risk in the near future of any eviction, he was in the clear with the tabloids-and with the clients of his new big account. Combined with the satisfaction of landing that account and the nomination for best ad campaign, he should be on cloud nine.
Not feeling so totally lost.
He shoved the garbage bag down the chute and headed out, only to be completely taken aback to find Benny just a few feet way, on her way out of her place.
When had she come home?
She looked as stunned to see him as he probably did at seeing her. Another woman was with her, someone he didn't recognize in a navy pantsuit and with a clipboard in her arms. A bit formal for a Saturday.
"Benny. Hey. You're back," he said, suddenly at a loss for anything clever or witty to say.
"Oh." Her eyes darted from him, looking nervous. "I was just leaving, actually."
She looked good. Tired, but good, if the shadows under her eyes were any indication.
"Hi, I'm Vivienne," the woman at Benny's side said too cheerfully, taking his hand in a firm shake. "Are you another resident?"
"Henry lives in the three-bedroom next door."
"Really," the woman said with a calculated gleam in her eye. "Why don't I leave you my card, then."
Her card?
He must have looked confused, because the woman laughed as she placed a card in his hand. He glanced down at it just as she clarified. "I'm a real estate agent. Dr. Sorensen has hired me to help get her place listed and on the market. You know, I have quite a number of clients who are interested in getting into this building, and they'd be positively rabid if they heard you were putting your place up on the market. How many square feet did you say you had?"
"I didn't." On the market? Benny was moving? He looked at her accusingly now. "I hadn't realized that Dr. Sorensen was moving out. In fact, since it looks like you two are finished, maybe I could have a minute with Dr. Sorensen."
This time Benny raised her eyes to meet his. "No. I'm afraid I have an appointment I have to make."
Really? She was going to play it this way? He looked at her in accusation. Who was the coward now, he wanted to ask, but he bit back the accusation.
Although what exactly he hoped to say or tell her in privacy he didn't know. Nothing that hadn't already been said. Nothing that he could say.
The agent seemed to finally sense the tension in the air as she looked back and forth between them. "I can wait out here, if you two need-"
"That's not necessary," Benny assured her. "Henry, I really do have to go. I think we've said everything there is to say, don't you?"