"That's not fair. Benny, think about it. He and I were both eighteen. You were what? Fourteen? I don't think Scottie would have dismissed you because you weren't his type, but because you were still a kid. You know, when we were dating, he always liked you. He thought you were funny and cute. Do you remember that time we took you with us to the Fourth of July fireworks show? We were all set to go and you were in lying on the couch reading a book. It was his idea to bring you along. And why? Because he liked you. Maybe not the way you wanted, but with time and age, that could have changed."
Benny hadn't known any of that. Especially about the Fourth. She'd been certain that Daisy had dragged her with them because she felt sorry for her. "He really thought I was cute? You're not just saying that to try and make me feel better?"
"You were cute. You are cute. There is nothing to make up. Which is bringing me to my second question. Why did you think you had to change at all? I mean, come on, Benny. You're the success here. Out of the two of us? You've always been so smart and independent, knowing what you wanted and then setting out to get it. You're a doctor, for crying out loud, and everyone is so proud of you, me included. But what can anyone say about me? I'm the failure of the family. I didn't get good grades in school and never really knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. Two months pregnant with Jenna, I dropped out of college before I even completed my degree to get married to Leo. Being pretty only goes so far. Now I'm divorced and, other than three of the most amazing kids on the planet, what do I have to show for myself? If anyone needs a makeover here, it's me."
Benny had never ever thought of her sister as a failure. But hearing Daisy say all of that, she could see her sister believed it. Daisy thought Benny was the success. It was like her world was being flipped upside down.
"Daisy, you are not a failure, and I'm so sorry that you could ever believe that. You are smart and warm and have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You also have your own talents. You started over with nothing, financially wiped out, and over the past year you have found a job you love, moved you and the kids out of our parents' home and into a place you're paying for on your very own, and your kids are bright and smart and happy. You are a success."
They looked at each other for a moment before Daisy reached forward and pulled Benny into a hug. "You are, too. Don't sell yourself short."
This time, the tears that filled Benny's eyes weren't because of her own pain, her own self-pity, but in realizing that she wasn't the only one who'd thought she wasn't good enough.
Who would have thought that Daisy could ever have been jealous of her. It seemed insane.
Tears wiped away, Daisy studied her again. "So is it Henry you want?"
That had come out of nowhere. "What?"
"Don't play coy with me. I've seen you two together. We all have. It's clear you guys are crazy for each other. What you're doing with this Luke guy-perfect dream guy or not-is beyond me. Is that why you're upset? Did something happen with Henry?"
"You could say that." She dropped forward, covering her face with her hands. "There may have been a few more things we practiced together."
Daisy sat openmouthed as Benny detailed the first kiss she and Henry had shared on her couch followed up with the totally unexpected but heart-stopping kiss out in the garden at their parents' on Sunday. Not to mention last night's horrible fight.
There was a moment of silence as Daisy continued to process.
"Are you going to say anything? Because I feel like a totally horrible person right now, having said those things to Henry. Half of them weren't even really true. Then there's the utter crap he said to me."
More silence as her sister studied the ceiling.
"What? What are you not saying?"
"I think both of you embellished things a bit, but I also think there was some truth in each of your comments."
Benny blinked. "Wait. Whose side are you on?"
"Yours. Always yours. It's just that Henry does have a point. If you're not being yourself-not being the same outspoken, strong-minded person who I love and appreciate, then you aren't being honest. How can you know if you're right for each other if you can't tell Luke something as simple as the fact that you hate sushi?"
"I will be honest with him. Just like with the golf, in time I will " She trailed off. It was hard to hold on to a position that you were beginning to doubt yourself. "Okay, but the thing is, Henry told me to do all this-be this person who licks her lips, bats her eyes, pretends avid interest in anything her date says-and it's a tad hypocritical now for him to chew me out for following his advice."
"Yes Henry. That leads me to the other question. Why was he so outraged by it all? If he is ‘just a friend' and not interested in you, why does he feel so strongly about seeing you feed a churro to your date?"
"I haven't the faintest idea."
"Don't you?" her sister asked, smiling. "Because I think that maybe Henry is feeling something stronger for you than friendship. But because of this distorted view you have of yourself and your own value, you've convinced yourself that Henry could never be interested in someone like you. The thing is, until you tell him the truth about how you truly feel, put it all out there, how will you really know?"
"Know how I feel?"
Her sister just smiled.
Was Benny that transparent? Because the truth had been hitting her over the head for the past couple of weeks, but she'd refused to accept it. She studied her hands. "That I love him."
"Yeah, you dope. That you love him. Have you seen him at all since last night?"
Benny shook her head. "No, I've been hiding out in my bedroom all day up until now."
"Chicken."
Benny laughed, even though the prospect of doing what her sister was proposing-telling Henry that she loved him-had her absolutely terrified.
She came to her feet, already feeling the tiniest bit hopeful.
"Heading home already?"
"I've got a lot of thinking to do. A few people to speak to."
One person she needed to speak to. Needed to tell how she really felt, now that she was ready to recognize it herself.
Henry had been stalking his front door, listening for the sound of the elevator all day with the hopes of catching a glimpse of Benny.
He felt horrible for how things had gone last night, for things that were said. And he needed to know whether she finally came clean to Luke about everything. Let him truly see who she was.
Even if that prospect completely terrified Henry.
Because Luke was everything that Benny wanted. A true hero who was compassionate and honorable, not at all superficial or-how had she described Henry? With no substance. There was nothing stopping them from being crazy happy together.
And so what? So she'd be happy. Henry had been perfectly happy before Benny Sorensen came into his life, and he'd continue to be happy long after she rode off on that priggish white horse with Saint Luke.
He was happy, damn it.
Someone knocked on the door, bringing his pacing to a halt. He was certain that he hadn't heard the elevator. Henry sauntered to the door, curious.
It was Benny.
He opened the door, noticing her flushed face and her heavy breathing. Had she taken the stairs to the tenth floor?
"Hey," she said breathlessly.
That's it? Okay, he could be casual, too. "Good evening."
"Can I come in? I promise I won't yell at you or insult you," she said in a tone that was almost upbeat.
"Of course."
He stepped aside to let her in and shut the door. Had he imagined the evening before? Or put too much weight on their words, spoken in anger? He was new at this ‘just friends' stuff. Maybe blowups like that were par for the course.
"Is everything okay?" He studied her face, finally noticing the red-tinged, swollen eyes. She'd been crying? "What happened, did something happen with Luke?" he demanded, more abruptly than he'd intended.
"No," she said and smiled slightly. "Nothing like that. I, uh well, I've been doing some soul-searching since our talk yesterday. And after a conversation with Daisy today, I've reached a few realizations."
He nodded, trying not to feel alarmed. "Do you want to have a seat?"
"No. I don't think I could sit right now. I'm too nervous. I just need to get this off my chest." She took a few steps closer, her gaze on the floor, as if gathering her thoughts. "The past few weeks have really surprised me. Not just because I liked my haircut or my new clothes, or the attention I suddenly was getting. It surprised me because I found myself actually enjoying one more unexpected thing spending time with you." She looked up now, meeting his gaze. "I like hanging out with you."
She couldn't like at him like that. All soft and hopeful. It was playing havoc with his head. He swallowed but remained still as she went on.
"Whether it's watching television from my couch, getting golf instructions at the crack of dawn, or watching my brothers beat the crap out of you I enjoy my time with you. You make me laugh, sometimes at myself, sometimes at you. Then last Sunday, when we kissed on the garden bench, I-I lied when I agreed with you about it being a mistake. Kissing you was one of the truest moments in my life. Because sometime in the past few weeks, I went and fell in love with you. Not with Luke, with you," she said, her voice trembling at the end as she continued to gaze at him, her blue eyes bright and hopeful. "And I think that you feel the same way."