He acted like he hadn't heard her, unable to fully understand the anger and jealousy roiling in his gut. "And what's with all the makeup? I thought you abhorred the whole glamazon thing. And now you're dressing like someone else entirely?"
Her face went a deep shade of red. "Are you kidding?" she practically shouted. A few people passing them paused and looked over, and she lowered her voice. "Everything I'm doing-how I dress, how I act-is because you told me to. And now you're judging me?"
Of course he'd told her all of that. He'd been an idiot and hadn't realized then the utter perfection that was Benny Sorensen.
He raked a hand through his hair, trying to understand what he wanted to say. "Okay, so maybe I did. But I was wrong. Luke should be able to appreciate how great you are without all that."
Luke should be able to see past it to the inner strength and beauty that was Benny.
She put her hands to her head as if to calm herself down and then returned them to her sides, her hands now balled in fists. "I don't understand where this is coming from. This was what we were working for. And now that Luke and I are finally getting to know each other, you're springing this on me? Whatever this is."
He laughed in derision. "Getting to know each other? Is that what you're doing? Because as I recall, up until Saturday, he was convinced you loved-and were quite adept at-playing golf. And sushi-how long are you going to pretend you like that? Up until the wedding? Maybe after the first child is born? I hardly think what you two are doing is being honest with each other."
"That's the most sanctimonious bunch of BS I've ever heard. What would you know about honesty? Coming from a man who was lapping up the same crap from Lela a few minutes ago, your words lack any real meaning. That's the type of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"
"I'm not the one looking for happily-ever-after, one person forever, yada, yada. That's you. I've been honest from the start about my expectations in a relationship. I'm just looking for fun. What's wrong with going out with someone who likes to have fun? Who doesn't look at every motive with cynicism like you do? Who doesn't judge people or try to hold them up to the lofty standards you expect? We're humans. Not cyborgs."
Okay, so maybe he'd gone too far with that last part, especially after seeing the way she'd flinched.
"You know what your problem is, Henry? You pat yourself on the back for being so honest. I'm Henry, I don't do commitment," she said, dropping her tone to imitate him. "You're not honest, though. You're just a coward. You are too afraid to try and have anything real with someone because you're worried they'll see that, deep down, you have no substance. That you're just a kid who never grew up. A woman, a relationship-they're just toys to you, something you play with until the next shiny thing comes along. Isn't that what you said all people were like? Looking for the best and brightest and newest? Well, I've got news for you, Henry. Real people aren't like that. They have more substance, more maturity to find something good, something special, and make it work. Geez. I was such a moron to ever listen to you."
Silence fell between them, her words weighing heavier on him than he'd have liked.
What had been his point in confronting her like this?
Because this? This conversation hadn't been what he'd intended.
"Is everything okay here?" They both looked over, startled, to see a security guard next to them.
Henry smiled, even though it pained him to do so. "Everything's fine."
The guy was looking at Benny now, waiting for her agreement. "Yes, we're finished," she said, leveling her gaze on Henry. "Nothing to worry about."
The guy nodded, and with a warning glance Henry's way, walked away.
Benny took a deep breath in. "Henry, I'm going to use the restroom, and when I get back to the seats, I'd I'd really like it if you and your date could be gone."
He nodded. "Certainly. You two enjoy yourselves. I just want to ask one thing. If you're never honest with Luke about what you truly want, how is he going to really know you? Stop trying. You shouldn't have to."
Before they could start another argument and continue saying things they could never take back, he walked away.
He remembered her words, though. About his cowardice. His superficiality. And his own comments that hadn't been framed as eloquently as he would have liked.
Maybe maybe it already was too late.
Chapter Nineteen
Benny sat back on her sister's couch the next day and listened to Daisy argue with the girls upstairs that they'd had just as long of a snuggle time as their brother, Paul, and to stop getting out of bed or there would be no TV time in the morning. It was a familiar argument and despite the tears and sadness that had hung over her all day, she smiled at the antics.
Benny had arrived at Daisy's about an hour before, not long after her sister had called to demand an explanation for why Benny had skipped family dinner. Daisy hadn't bought the story she'd given their mom about coming down with the stomach flu and insisted Benny come over that night to explain or she'd haul the three kids over to Benny's. It was as if ever since her sister had become a mom, she'd developed some radar that told her when something was wrong.
Even if Benny couldn't entirely understand what was wrong herself.
That explosion at the ballgame yesterday? To say it was unexpected was an understatement. That Henry had the gall to call her on her behavior had been infuriating. And what he'd said after had been devastating.
So much so that after she'd returned to her seat and found that Henry had followed her advice and taken off with his date-something that she'd instantly regretted saying, along with a lot of others-she'd felt even worse. It hadn't been hard to beg off after the game, pleading she wasn't feeling well, even though she knew that, like Henry had accused, she wasn't being fully honest. But she'd needed time to regroup.
Or fall apart.
And that's what she'd done for the past twenty-four hours-fall apart and try to figure out how everything had gone wrong. Why she felt so horrible.
A few minutes later, Daisy was on couch next to her. Waiting. "So what happened? Did you and Luke get into some sort of argument?"
Benny smiled a little wistfully. "Luke and I? Hardly. We have nothing to argue about. Being with him is so easy."
"Then what's wrong? Why have you been crying all day-and don't try to deny it, I can spot the signs."
Well, they'd actually be kind of hard to miss, what with Benny's eyes and face as puffy as the Pillsbury Dough Boy, which was precisely why she'd avoided her family and dinner tonight, to avoid these very questions.
Benny sighed. Trying to figure out exactly where to start things. Because it had started much earlier than yesterday. More like the moment she'd make that deal with the devil.
So she jumped back, relaying to Daisy exactly what she'd been up to the past few weeks with the makeover, the clothes, the golf lessons. Stopping short of detailing the feelings that had developed out of nowhere for the wrong guy.
"So as I understand this, you and Henry have been working together to make you into someone else? Like a real-life Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle?" Daisy asked.
"Something like that, I suppose," Benny said almost sheepishly.
"I see," Daisy said, but she sounded confused while also-knowing Daisy-a little hurt. "Why did you think you couldn't tell me this?"
Benny shrugged. "I guess I was a little embarrassed. I mean, you've never had to worry about catching a guy's attention. They're naturally drawn to you. I've never known how to act or talk around guys. Not that they were ever looking. I mean, I've never really been much to look at."
"What are you talking about? Benny Sorensen, you make it sound like you were some sort of golem or something. You have always been so funny and strong and independent. And pretty."
Benny snorted. "Come on, Daisy. I was a lot of things, but pretty was never one of them."
"Are you freaking kidding me? You have those amazing blue eyes, lashes I'd give my right leg for, and you've never had to worry about stuffing your bra. You're funny and smart, not to mention that you just have this way of feeling so certain about everything."
Benny looked into her sister's dark eyes, pretty and hypnotic, full lips that easily smiled and beguiled. "Great big boobs and great eyes. Just what every girl wants to hear. Daisy, you have to know that you are, and always have been, the beauty of the family. You never had to try with guys. They just wanted you. I, on the other hand, couldn't get one to take a second look at me."
Daisy shook her head, still disbelieving. "Like who? I don't remember you ever even being interested in a boy when we were growing up."
"Scottie."
Daisy's mouth opened and then closed as she thought another moment. "The lifeguard?"
Benny nodded. "That summer, didn't you think it was odd that I dragged myself to the community pool nearly every day with my pile of library books? Me, the girl who hated wearing a swimsuit and usually shunned the sun? I was there because I hoped that maybe, just maybe, Scottie would look at me and see me as someone he might like."
"Why didn't you ever tell me? I would never have dated him had I known you liked him."
"It didn't matter. He didn't want me."