"Henry, you don't have to explain anything. I get it. You're used to planting that mouth on anything with breasts, and I was no exception." Even though she'd said this through a forced smile, intending it to be a joke, she'd sounded more bitter than she'd intended, but it couldn't be helped.
"No. It's not like that. You're not like anyone else. That's why my kissing you was most definitely the wrong thing to do. In the past couple of weeks you and I have become friends. Really good friends, and I don't think I could ever say that before about a woman. It's been really, really nice and not something I want to risk losing. Not with my track record."
Right. Why was she such an idiot? She knew this. He'd so much as told her so himself. Men either wanted to sleep with you or they didn't. She'd been permanently friend zoned. And it hurt a hell of a lot more than she'd thought possible.
The elevator was just cresting seven. Three more flights. Time to get this conversation over with and run back to her place to lick her wounds.
For now, be positive. Don't let him see how much his apology stung.
"Henry, don't be ridiculous." She delivered a megawatt smile, her face feeling like it would crack under the pressure. "It was a nice kiss-no. A great kiss. But you don't have to worry about me. I know we're friends. Luke is the whole reason I've been doing all of this, and thanks to your help, I'm finally getting what I want. Really. Don't give it a second thought."
His shoulders sagged in obvious relief. He faked a punch to her right arm. "You're a great woman, Benny Sorensen. You're going to make some lucky bastard the happiest man in the world."
The doors were opening, and she rushed forward, needing to distance herself from him as fast as she could. "Well, thanks for the lesson today. But I'm pretty wiped out, and if I'm going to look human again tomorrow, I should probably get to bed."
"Okay. I'll catch you later." He didn't argue with her or try to coerce her into an episode of The Good Wife like he'd done in the past.
She made it to her place before any tears could fall, thank God.
It wouldn't be fair for her to make Henry feel guilty over her misguided feelings. She should know by now that men like Henry were completely out of her league.
Unlike Luke and the other men who've shown her interest in the past couple of weeks thanks to the shiny new package they'd concocted, Henry wasn't fooled by the makeup, the new clothes, or the haircut.
Henry knew the real Benny.
And as she'd feared, he knew she just wasn't good enough.
Chapter Eighteen
Henry was in a foul mood. He knew it as he nodded and ignored the well wishes when he left the gym earlier that morning, when he snapped at the parking lot attendant as he'd pulled into the lot at work, when Marion, his assistant, mused about why he'd looked like something the cat dragged in.
Two cups of coffee later, his mood still hadn't improved, and he knew why. Because he was furious. Annoyed. Frustrated. At one person.
Himself.
What had he been thinking getting so close to a woman like Benny when he should have realized how dangerous she was? Dangerous in how absolutely perfect she was, and it was inevitable that he'd start having feelings for her.
Because just as much as he wanted her, wanted the happiness that would come with being with her, wanted that kiss to go on forever, he'd known deep down that things would never work out.
People like Henry didn't have a happily-ever-after. People like him were destined to be alone.
He felt like he'd spent his entire life alone. Not wanted and abandoned by his mother, abandoned in death by his heartbroken father.
So just for another moment, he'd pretended that what he and Benny had could be real. That it could be forever.
Only as soon it was over, the reality of the situation came crashing down. He could never have Benny Sorensen. Not the way she wanted. Not forever.
So although it had been a little late, he'd had to be honest with her last night in the elevator. Had to put the brakes on things before he was too far gone. Before he did something stupid like fall completely in love with her. Before he could be too invested only to have her realize things wouldn't work out and leave him. Like everyone inevitably did.
He had to admit, however, that seeing how quick Benny had been to agree with him that their kiss had been a mistake had been a bit of a bruise to his ego. She could have at least had the courtesy to look a little disappointed.
But then, why would she? She finally had Luke eating out of her hand. Dr. Luke Seeley, who was everything she could ever want in a man. Ambitious, hardworking, selfless, loving, from a good family, and apparently, if all signs were correct, on his way to falling in love with her.
Yes. Benny was definitely going to be better off.
All the same, knowing this stuff and coming to terms with it were completely different things, and Henry'd spent the entire night torturing himself with these thoughts until he finally rolled out of bed and headed to the gym to work off his stress.
He was cradling his baseball in his hands, still recalling the details of yesterday's afternoon with Benny, when he realized someone was talking to him.
He looked up to see Becks standing at the door with a bemused expression on her face.
"Henry? You doing all right?"
Lord. How long had she been standing there trying to get his attention? "Just fine. Sorry. Had a rough night's sleep."
"I could probably come back when you're feeling a little more animated," she said, and walked across the office before sinking into the seat opposite him, "but since I have some big news I thought you should know straight away, I'll take what I can get."
He'd been about to toss the ball to his other hand, but her statement stopped him. "News?"
"I just got off the phone with AirPro Athletics. They were impressed by your presentation the other day, not to mention your assurances that you understood and shared their vision of family and community. We've got the account."
She was looking at him expectantly, and he supposed he should express some modicum of enthusiasm. "That's great. Just what we wanted. I told you it wouldn't be a problem."
"That's it? That's all I'm going to get?" She smiled, though, shaking her head. "Whoever she is, she's really messing with your head."
He sat up straighter. "She is? I assure you, that's not what's going on here. I told you. I just didn't get much sleep last night. This news is great. Unbelievable. I'll be sure to meet with the team right away to give them the good news."
She came to her feet. "You do that, Henry. You might also just want to take a day or two off. Get some real relaxation in. What with landing this account and earning that nomination, not to mention managing to go three full weeks without so much as a byline from any of the tabloids, you've earned it."
"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Becks."
Only he didn't feel like celebrating now any more than he had before Becks walked in that door. In fact, his mind was somewhere else. With someone else.
He wondered if she'd already taken the steps she'd need to move on with the good Dr. Seeley. He just hoped he'd be able to keep up the pretense that imagining her with anyone else wasn't like a knife to the chest.
She deserved to be happy. Even if it wasn't with him.
"You know, my parents are going to be in town next weekend. They really would like to meet you," Luke said, wrapping his hands around her waist and facing her while the elevator slowly crept upward to the tenth floor.
It was Thursday night, and they'd just come from a movie where she'd eaten too much popcorn and drank too much soda, and she felt a little sick.
"Your parents?" Luke's parents had moved to a retirement community in the sunny southern climes of Tempe, Arizona, which was about ten hours' drive away from Salt Lake, so their trip up, she hoped, had nothing to do with meeting her.
"Don't look so worried," he said and laughed, tucking a stray hair from her face. "They'll love you."
"They're not coming all this way to meet me, though. Right?"
"Not that that would be so unbelievable, but no. There's actually an amateur golf tournament next weekend they already had planned on attending. Meeting you is just a happy coincidence."
"In that case I can't wait."
She tilted her head up to catch his kiss, a move that, after Saturday and two more dinner dates under their belt, was feeling much more natural. He was a good kisser, and she closed her eyes, enjoying the sweet moment.
She hadn't even been aware that the elevator doors had opened until the sound of someone clearing their throat brought her back to earth. They grinned at each other and turned to apologize to whoever had caught them in such an awkward moment.
Holy Hannah.
All her sweet, tingling feelings were swept away as she stared into Henry's brown eyes. "Sorry to interrupt," he said to her before turning his attention to Luke. "How's it going?"
Luke seemed to recognize him, and as they stepped off the elevator, he held his hand out to take Henry's. "Good, man. It's Henry, right? The golf instructor?"
"I suppose that's accurate enough."
Luke draped his arm casually over Benny's shoulders, unaware of the tension between the two. "Well, I appreciate you helping out. Actually, if you had a minute, I was wondering something about your club. I might be looking to move somewhere new, and I hear the course there is excellent. What's the USGA course rating?"