He was there instead of entertaining the usual small group of clients and coworkers at his place because he didn't want to be around when Luke Seeley picked up Benny for their big date. Didn't think he could stand to see her look as enticing as she had last night, only instead of smiling and shining those brilliant eyes at Henry, she'd be flashing them at Luke. Would Luke try to taste those same lips that Henry had claimed just hours before?
The thought made him want to smash his fist into the good doctor's face.
Lord. Henry ran a hand through his hair as he remembered that kiss. It had taken every ounce of restraint to pull away from those soft lips, leave that welcoming embrace, and get the hell out of there before he did something they'd both regret. Something he was equal parts relieved and frustrated with once the door shut at his own place and he could still taste the remnants of that kiss, smell Benny's warm vanilla scent, feel the softness of her skin and the smooth silkiness of her dark hair.
He was treading in dangerous waters, he realized, getting so close to the woman. Feeling idiotic things he shouldn't even be considering with anyone, let alone a woman in love with someone else.
"Henry, you've really got to come over and join us." He glanced to his side, where Valerie was holding her Cosmopolitan in her well-manicured hand and eyeing him with unbridled interest.
Valerie was new to the firm's research division and had recently worked on the Kettlebaum account with him. She was funny and lovely and definitely interested. The only reason he hadn't hooked up with her before was because she'd been dating someone. But she had hinted earlier that they'd broken up a couple weeks ago. Meaning she was available and ready to have Henry help heal whatever wounds her bruised heart and ego might be suffering. She was the exact kind of distraction he needed to help push Benny Sorensen out of his mind for at least one night. Only
Once he had Valerie hanging on to every word he uttered, he'd needed space. Which was why he was up at the bar, drinking. Alone. Something that was doing little to improve his mood.
He turned to look at the woman again. Tall and blond and looking in need of a good solid meal, she watched him eagerly from hooded blue eyes. Blue eyes that weren't nearly as bright or sharp as another pair that he kept thinking about.
But she was here. And not mooning after some saintly doofus doctor.
Still "I'll be along in a minute. Just want to catch the final score," he said and nodded up to the baseball game.
"Who's up?" Valerie asked and sidled onto the bar stool next to him.
"You follow baseball?"
"My dad was a huge Dodgers fan, so I know a little bit about it. Who's your team?"
He smiled wryly. "Giants."
"Probably best not to have you and my dad in the same room during the playoffs."
A woman who knew baseball. Normally that might have heightened his interest in the blonde.
She sipped her pink drink and eyed him over the rim. "If you're not interested in joining everyone, perhaps you'd be interested in watching the rest of the game somewhere more private? I seem to recall seeing a sixty-inch television at that apartment of yours."
The invitation was clear, and he had to give her props for her forwardness. This woman obviously knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to just put it out there.
But right now, the prospect of spending another night having meaningless sex with someone he barely knew, let alone knew if he liked, held no appeal.
He remembered what he'd told Benny last night. About men finding sex with any woman great and a beautiful woman fantastic. Words he thought he believed at the time. But now, with the opportunity presenting itself to have what should be fantastic sex with a beautiful woman, he wasn't so sure anymore.
What sounded infinitely more appealing was making love to a woman who challenged and intrigued him, who made him want to peel away the stuff at the surface and discover what made her tick. What made her smile, laugh, and maybe sigh in breathless pleasure.
Someone like Benny.
Ludicrous.
What I should do is take Valerie home right now and let her take my mind off everything, especially Benny.
He took another drink of his beer and considered her offer for another moment. But it was no use. He'd only be comparing the two women the entire time. "Sorry, Valerie. Maybe another time."
She pouted for a minute, her bottom lip out, but when he didn't follow up, she changed tactics and smiled. "If you change your mind, you know where I'll be."
She turned and walked slowly away, moving her hips like she knew he was watching her. Which he was.
What was wrong with him? He'd never passed up sex with a beautiful woman before.
The problem was that maybe Benny had opened the door to the possibility of relationships that had real meaning, with her talk of happily-ever-after and family and all that.
Maybe it wasn't Benny that he was necessarily drawn to. It was what women like her represented. But the thing was, he'd decided long ago that women like her didn't really exist. That relationships like she wanted and what he'd seen surrounding him at her family dinner didn't exist.
So, fine. Whatever. Maybe it did.
For some lucky men. But if he'd learned anything in his life, it was that Henry wasn't so lucky.
He'd survived his thirty-four years without a broken heart because he hadn't allowed himself the luxury of investing in a relationship that lasted longer than a baseball season.
It was safer. Easier. Less painful.
He wasn't necessarily writing off the Valeries of the world. But maybe, for now, he needed a little more time to himself to figure out exactly what he wanted.
And what he was willing to risk.
Chapter Fourteen
Benny had managed to swallow enough wasabi-drowned sushi to convince Luke that she'd enjoyed her meal nearly as much as he had. Even if her stomach was now at odds with its contents and she was trying to appease the uprising by downing lots of water.
" the people of Sudan were so welcoming and the work so rewarding, I couldn't help but sign on another year. You really would enjoy it, too " Luke was going on after she'd pressed him for details about his work through Doctors Without Borders. He hadn't stopped talking for a good five-minute stretch at least, so enthralled with his topic.
This was what Henry had encouraged. An open ear, letting Luke do all the talking because men liked nothing more than to hear themselves speak about themselves-provided one showed sufficient interest. Her nodding and smiling must have been all the encouragement Luke had needed to warm to his subject and then some.
Even if Benny was a little bored.
"You haven't touched the sashimi," he said and pointed to three pieces of obviously raw fish that she'd been hoping to avoid. At least with the rice and cucumbers in the sushi roll, she could almost forget she was eating raw fish. But the limp, slimy pieces would offer no such distraction.
"Come on. You've got to at least try one. Here." He reached across and, with his chopsticks, clamped one of the pieces and held it up to her mouth. "This is the salmon, and I promise you won't be disappointed."
Really? What choice did she have here?
Reluctantly, she opened her mouth, trying not to feel self-conscious at the fact that Luke Seeley was feeding her, looking into her mouth right now.
She hoped she didn't have any food stuck on her tongue or teeth.
He pulled the chopsticks back, leaving a fat, slimy piece of cold fish in her mouth. He smiled encouragingly at her. "And?"
Unlike many things that tasted better than they actually looked, this wasn't one of them. It had looked like a thick pink slug-and eating it was even worse. Like eating an extra-salty fish-flavored slug.
She wouldn't lose it. No, she could do this. Just swallow with as minimal amount of chewing as possible.
But it was so chewy.
She forced as smile and nodded. "Mmm. You're right. Delicious."
Okay, time for water. Lots of water, which she quickly chugged down while Luke picked up one of the other pieces and shoved it in his mouth. "Mmm. Did you see Dr. Paulson yesterday?"
An image of the older doctor came to mind. Particularly the fact that his usual salt-and-pepper hair had been dyed a dark brown that looked somewhat unsettling with his pale skin. "I'm afraid so."
"He stopped me to talk about a concern he had for one of his patients, and I had the hardest time not chuckling outright. What is he thinking?"
She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "I understand from some of the nurses that he just finalized his third divorce, so my bet is he's already looking to find wife number four."
"Really?" He looked perplexed. "I don't get men like that. Not respecting the sanctity of marriage. You don't just marry someone based on attraction alone, but mutual respect. Common interests. Take my parents. Married forty-four years. Both on the greens bright and early five days a week. They took up Spanish and then Italian and are now both fairly fluent. They do everything together-it's great. They're like two peas in a pod."
See. There were men who believed in marriage and commitment and family. She'd try and ignore the part about his parents' golfing.
Almost. Every. Day.
Her parents enjoyed doing things together, of course, but they also had other interests. Other hobbies. It was that variety and independence that made it so much more fun to come home at the end of the day-or so her mother said.