Emma deserved better than him. She deserved the white knight he couldn’t be. It was better this way, better for her in the long run if he ended it now. Before she became too attached. Before he had to break her heart more than he already was.
He didn’t know what reaction he expected from her. Before his eyes, her expression changed. Like someone drew a curtain around her, the walls came up.
She closed her mouth and ratcheted her chin up a notch, fire igniting her eyes. “Fine with me.” The cold, hard edge in her voice made him cringe. “It was just sex, Dillon.”
Then she turned and moved back into the dining room, where she wiped Annie’s face with a towel before extracting the baby from the high chair and moving into the living room.
She settled down with Annie on the couch, her stony expression twisting at the pain in his gut. The tension returned. The hard edge that had been between them for most of their lives. He had a feeling hell would freeze over before her face opened to him again.
* * *
While moving her clothing out of the dresser in the guest bedroom and into her small tan suitcase, Emma could only shake her head. How she managed to not see this one coming, she didn’t know. Dillon had said he didn’t want a relationship, and she bragged, told him she was a modern woman, could make her own decisions. She knew now she allowed herself to hope, to believe in the intimacy between them.
She felt like a fool, but she had nobody to blame except herself. She let her emotions rule, positive she could handle the relationship, that she wanted this.
Yet she still ended up in the exact place she spent her life trying to avoid. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise, it hurt. God, she couldn’t believe how much it hurt. The whole thing left her feeling empty. She should have known better. After all, she couldn’t pull this off the way her sister had.
Sometimes desire catches you and sweeps you away. Janey had told her that once. Now she knew Janey was right. She envied her sister. Janey had a passion Emma couldn’t match. She flew by the seat of her pants, dove headfirst into everything, relationships included, and when they ended, she moved on to the next one. Emma wondered what secret Janey had known that she didn’t.
To make matters worse, she had to work with Dillon. That thought left her tied in knots. Had she made the right decision? She looked forward to the job, to the upbeat atmosphere. It would be different, and her life could use a bit of different.
She had no idea how she’d handle working so closely with Dillon. How she’d manage seeing him day in and day out. Or how it would feel if and when he started dating someone else.
At least she’d have a week to prepare herself. This next week would give her time to shore up her defenses against him, to prepare herself for having to see him again. She only wished Janey were here. Her sister would be able to tell her how to mend a broken heart.
Catching her last thought, she furrowed her brow in determination. No. It had to be the hormones, the softening of her emotions from having shared physical intimacy with him. She didn’t exactly do this all the time. He was her first, for crying out loud. She was not falling in love with Dillon.
“You’re leaving?”
At the sound of his quiet voice, she turned. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, leaning a shoulder against the frame, like he’d been there for a while.
“I’d like to be back before dark.” She turned back to her suitcase, didn’t want to have to look into his face, and couldn’t bear to see the truth dawn in his eyes.
“You’re still coming to the club next week, right?”
“I made a promise and I don’t go back on my promises. I don’t know how long I’ll stay. Working with you is going to be awkward, but right now, I need the money and you need the help.” Stuffing in the last shirt with less finesse than normal, she closed her suitcase and zipped it, desperate to be out of this house. His house. “I won’t be staying here when I come back to town.”
He let out a long, heavy breath. “You’re mad.”
She stopped, drew in a deep breath, and let out it on a sigh then shook her head. “Not at you.”
She wanted to be angry with him. It would be easier if he really had been the playboy the papers made him out to be, if he’d openly used her, the way her boyfriend in high school had tried to use her in the past. How could she? She couldn’t fault him for this. She’d gotten herself into this one.
“Where will you stay?” Concern tinged his voice.
“Likely with Mrs. Emerson.” She turned to take one last look at Annie, who lay napping in her crib. For a moment, she stared down at her sweet face. She’d miss that face this week.