The Playboy's Baby(42)

She’d denied herself this simple pleasure for too long—the power of a physical connection. Dillon opened the floodgates. The man made her yearn for things she hadn’t ever thought possible, things she’d been too busy to notice were missing. Love. Passion. For once in her life, she did something not in the plan. Shouldn’t she be allowed one point of selfishness, one moment in time all for herself?

What she expected to happen after they made love, she didn’t know. Maybe the softening of her emotions, of having shared something so intimate with a man she’d known most of her life had addled her brain. She expected…something sweet. Soft sighs. An exchange of tender, conspiratorial glances. Laying together, still joined, limp limbs still tangled, separated only by a thin sheen of perspiration, the muscles beneath her palms slowly tensed again.

He finally lifted his head and slid off to her side—distinctly not curling against her or enveloping her in his embrace—and pinned her with that accusing stare again. Her heart lurched, and she found herself caught between the expectation of it and the disappointing reality of actually seeing it in his eyes.

“You should’ve told me.” His brow furrowed. Panic screamed from the depths of his eyes when he sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

“You regret it.” She let out a heavy sigh, surprised by how much it hurt to realize.

He drew in a deep breath and dragged his hands through his hair. “No.” The word left his mouth on an expelled breath. “But I have to be honest. I’m not in the market for a serious relationship. I’ve told you that.”

She froze, unable to believe her ears. He had to say that now? Of all times? They were still naked, for crying out loud. She wasn’t asking for any of that, hadn’t expected it, but he threw it at her nonetheless. Reminding her of her place in his life. Which only made her feel used. Tossed aside like yesterday’s trash.

What had she expected? Dillon was a self-proclaimed bachelor. A man determined to stay that way. He told her so himself.

“Did I ask you for one?” She sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, disgusted with herself for believing in the pull between them. What had she expected? It was sex. Only passion. The cravings of the flesh. It wasn’t going to be like in the movies or in novels, all romantic and steamy, but deep inside she wanted that and found the reality less than desirable. It made her feel like a fool. Like a stupid silly high school girl who got in way over her head.

Unable to keep the pain from reaching her voice or the tears from pricking her eyelids, she exited the bed and went in search of her clothes.

Dillon proved faster and rounded the bed at her. One strong arm snaked around her waist, gently pulling her back to him. His voice was soft and gentle in her ear. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I used you. That’s not how I meant it.”

“We used each other.” She jerked free of his touch and side-stepped around him, gathering her clothing off the floor. “I was a virgin by choice, not because I’m young and stupid. No worries. I get it. Loud and clear.”

She didn’t bother to wait for a reply.





Chapter Nine





Dillon’s heart hung heavy when Emma stormed from the room. Completely naked, her hair flew out behind her, her bare backside disappearing around the corner and into the hallway. He ought to go after her, smooth things over. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, had tried for exactly the opposite.

Except, he knew chasing after her wouldn’t change the way he felt. He’d gone down the marriage and family road once and gotten burned. He’d given his heart to one too many women who were only after his money. It hurt beyond belief to find out after he was in love with a woman that she didn’t care for him in the least. He did it not once, or twice, but four times.

Leila was the worst. He fell the hardest for her and gave the most of himself. In the end, it left him feeling like a fool for not seeing the lies sooner. He decided after Leila left he wouldn’t put his heart out there again.

No, he couldn’t go down that road again. Not even for Emma. She deserved more than what little he could offer her.

Knowing she deserved the truth from him instead of lies didn’t make him feel any better. That he took her virginity on top of it all left a very bad taste in his mouth. Made him feel like he used her for his own selfish benefit. Which made him exactly what everyone accused him of being. More to the point, if he felt that way, how did she feel?

He dropped onto the edge of the bed, ducked his head, and raked his hands through his hair. Boy, he managed to screw this one up. They were back to that place again, where she didn’t trust him and assumed the worst of him. They’d been here entirely too much over the course of their lives. It seemed they were forever destined to be here, where she didn’t trust him. He longed to be in that place where her smiles ran free and her face was open, instead of guarded and reserved.