Longer term? No. Her expectations would be sky-high. She'd want an equal footing in everything. She'd fight him every step of the way if she felt something wasn't fair. And he had no time for that. He had no time to be looking after a woman like that. That level of responsibility was to be avoided at all costs. Hadn't he proved that? Wasn't his trail of devastation big enough? No. She'd exhaust him. Cause him sleepless nights-in every sense.
That whole episode with her taking the pony and disappearing was evidence enough. His jaw clenched at the rage he'd felt when he'd found her gone. What a fool he'd been. Wandering around the garden first, calling her name, imagining that she'd be lying there waiting-warm and welcoming. Then when he'd realised she wasn't there or anywhere in the house, that sick feeling of panic had begun to build.
He'd felt it countless times with Dante when they were younger-as teenagers out roaming around the city, or later when they'd both go out and Dante would disappear for days, getting lost in some girl. Forcing himself past the terror of losing him had been years in the achieving, but he'd schooled himself. He'd learned. Dante was in total control of Dante. Lodo-well, that had been a different matter.
And today he'd been feeling it all over again. Bizarre. He'd been dwelling a lot on Lodo these past few days. Dredging up all the pain again. He had to get hold of himself, though-put the plaster back over his Achilles' heel. And damn fast.
Hours later he was sitting alongside her in the helicopter-watching the raw excitement on her face as the came in to land on the perfect patchwork quilt that made up Punta del Este. The sea, the beach, the clusters of yachts, the million-dollar homes-all were laid out like a beautiful chequered cloth.
He loved this place. Loved that Frankie was here, sharing it with him.
He showed her round his house and the gardens he'd designed himself. Watched her natural interest and joy at the little hidden corners, the sunken nooks, the bridge that spanned the inner courtyard swimming pool-it was a pleasure to see unguarded happiness. He wasn't usually in the business of comparisons, but-again-her lack of artifice, her unedited honesty, was so striking up against some of the other women he'd dated. Refreshing as rain on parched earth. It fed something in him-something he hadn't even known he was hungry for.
And then, of course, there was the passion. As soon as they'd got indoors and he'd got a message that there was further news about Martinez, he'd taken her-fast and hard. Maybe too hard. But she'd responded; she'd given it right back. She was just what he needed right now. No mind games, no manipulation. Just there, answering his body with her own. The perfect partner while he worked through this news.
Now he paced to the bathroom door. Opened it. Saw her. Wanted her all over again.
She kept her gaze straight ahead, frowned into the mirror as she smoothed her hair with her fingers and clipped in the emerald earrings he'd had delivered. He would give them to her to keep when she finally left. He would give them to her to remember him by.
The memories he had left her with the first time …
His hands curled into fists as he thought of how badly she had been treated. He had been so oblivious. He was angry, and still coming to terms with seeing a side of her she managed to keep well hidden.
To the world she was wilful, too stubborn. But to him she was just a highly strung filly. As highly strung as Ipanema had been when she'd arrived from Ireland. Missing her farm, her spoiled life. All she'd needed was a bit of careful management and a strong hand. She'd respected that. Needed that.
Just like her mistress.
And now he found himself easily, instinctively handling her.
He didn't need to wonder too deeply about why. They were both meeting each other's needs. It was that simple. There was no deeper, darker agenda. It was what it was. And it was good-for now.
'Perfecto.'
He said it aloud.
She smiled a self-effacing little half smile. 'Thank you. But I'm not going to lie … The thought of being all over the press as your date is giving me hives.'
He walked to her, wrapped his arms round her as she stood staring into the mirror. He in black, she in white. Her lips were a stain of poppy red, her hair a patent shimmer. In spiked heels, she was just tall enough to tuck her head under his chin completely. He nestled her against him, enjoying the fine-boned feel of her.
'You'll be sensational.'
'I'd rather be a nonentity. Walls need flowers-that's where I prefer to plant myself. And the thought of the media and all those people staring at the photographs of me … '
She shuddered and he held her back from him, stared at her. 'All those people?'
'Well, people who know me. Okay,' she said, pulling away, 'my family. They'll judge. And not in a good way.'
'It's only a party, Frankie. I'm sure they have them in Ireland.'
'Sure they do-but I like to keep my invites on the down-low. It's easier that way.'
'I reckon we can pull off a party without it hitting the headlines.' He hooked his thumb under her chin, tipped it up gently. 'Don't you?'
She rolled her eyes, quirked her lips into a smile. 'I suppose so.'
'Good. So we'll just go for a little while. I may have to return to BA early tomorrow anyway. I have some business that can't be postponed.'
He regarded her carefully, feeling strangely sure that if he opened up to her she would hold his confidence. But, no. That was not an option. Never an option.
'I head out the day after … so that all works out, then.'
Her voice was strained. He understood instantly.
'No, Frankie. I am not saying goodbye. Not tomorrow or the day after.'
He held her within his outline, stared at them in the mirror.
'I'd like you to stay on in Buenos Aires-with me. Until … until we put out this fire between us.'
'Rocco-' she started.
He watched her steady herself, watched strain splinter across her face.
'I'm only in South America for a few more days and then I'm flying back to Europe.'
'So stay longer. We have to continue this thing that we've started. It would be crazy not to. What do you say? Think about it.'
He didn't want to think about it. He just knew it felt right.
He turned her in his arms. She opened her mouth, as always needing to have her say, but some things needed no discussion. This was one of them.
Careful not to smear her lipstick, he kissed her lightly. But he slid his tongue into her mouth-just as a little reminder that the slightest touch was all it took.
The party was exactly as he'd expected it would be. The elegant country club was bedecked with all sorts of champagne-themed nonsense, and golden fairy lights around the jacarandas that lined the driveway made the blue-flowered trees look like sticks of giant glittery candyfloss. A gold marquee squatted on the lawn at the front of the old colonial-style house that had now become the clubhouse. Grace and glitz cautiously circled each other before the electrifying dance that would come later.
He watched as Frankie warily eyed the obligatory press corps as their car curved round the driveway. He had to smile at how contradictory she could be. So confident, so combative-but also so anxious about being his date.
He smiled, squeezed the hand he'd held throughout the car ride even though his mind had drifted to the next stage of the Martinez investigation-a task he'd entrusted to Dante: one final check on the identity of the man they suspected of being Chris Martinez. He scanned his phone for about the thousandth time in the past hour. Still nothing. He slid it away, held her close, tucked under his shoulder, feeling her presence soften his frayed edges.
Shadows of other times flitted through his mind, startling him. Fleeting moments when the salve of another body had shored up the pain. One happy dark morning, before her breakdown, when he had crawled into the warmth of his mamá's bed after his papá had left on the soulless search for work. Feeling her love as she'd closed her arms around him. And then, mere months later, he had been collapsing into the arms of the nuns at the hospital. Hiding in their long black skirts. Racked with the agony of guilt when he'd seen Lodo laid out in the mortuary.
Strange that the touch of a lover had brought of these feelings back. It never had before. The news about Martinez had affected him very deeply, it seemed.
'Here we go, then.'
He smiled. It was unusual for him to have a date who preferred to stay in the background. Refreshingly unusual. He tried to soothe the tension in the brittle grip of her fingers and the jagged cut of her shoulder under his arm as he steered her past the openly intrigued crowd. Fields of happy, curious faces turned towards them like flowers-as if they were the sun, giving light and warmth. To him, Frankie felt colder by the second.