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The Planner(47)

By:Tom Campbell


‘And what’s your point?’ said Erica.

‘My point is, London is the best place to do business, because it’s the best place to do things like this.’

‘You don’t have to tell this to James,’ said Felix. ‘It’s his job – he’s the town planner, remember. If you want to thank anyone for London’s premier position as the world capital of neo-liberalism then it’s him. He’s our great wealth creator. It’s why we mustn’t let him run away to Nottingham.’

‘That’s actually sort of right,’ said James.

‘Fuck – respect, man,’ said Rick, nodding his head gravely.

Felix took the joint and breathed in deeply. There was a moment of peaceful reflection. James felt fairly confident that, despite everything he had done and all the money he had spent, he wasn’t having a bad time.

‘Personally, I was always led to believe that the best place to live in the world was Norway,’ said Felix.

‘Norway? What the fuck are you talking about,’ said Carl.

‘There’s actually a little-known philosophical proof,’ continued Felix. ‘Ludwig Wittgenstein once said that Norway is the greatest country in the world. Wittgenstein only spoke truth. Therefore . . .’

‘That’s right,’ said Erica, unexpectedly. ‘Wittgenstein did say that. The syllogism holds.’

‘So do you think I need to worry about capital and labour moving to Norway?’ said James.

‘Christ no,’ said Felix. ‘Do you know how much tax they pay over there?’

Carl looked at them all grimly. ‘That’s the thing about cocaine,’ he said. ‘It makes everyone so fucking clever. At this rate, Rick will start speaking in symbolic logic. Come on, let’s go back inside. I need another drink.’

But having come out, James wasn’t now sure if he wanted to go back in. Something had happened to him, something to do with the cannabis, which had cancelled out the cocaine, and suddenly made him question what exactly he thought he was doing here. He wasn’t the great wealth creator at all. He was James Crawley, he worked in town planning at Southwark Council, and he didn’t even know which borough he was in.

He peered anxiously through the doorway. Felix had already made it back to the bar, but James was stuck. He wasn’t sure what he should do next, and the necessary journeys ahead of him – to the bar, to the toilet, to the others – appeared treacherous, with untold obstacles and dangers. But thankfully, he wasn’t alone. Erica was there with him too.

‘I think we may have overdone it,’ she said. ‘That joint was very strong. Let’s just wait here for a minute, until the head rush stops.’

She stood with him in the alleyway. Even wearing trainers she was tall, but of course not too tall for him. She held his hand, and looked at him as affectionately as her small black eyes would allow.

‘Don’t worry, it will soon pass,’ she said.

James nodded. She was right – already he was starting to feel better. The alleys of Clerkenwell were bright but soft in the moonlight. He could hear Erica breathing unnaturally loudly, but he was sure he would have done without any drugs, and anyway it was a nice sound.

‘So is Felix a good friend of yours?’ said James.

‘Well, I thought so once. But now I’m not sure if Felix really has any friends.’

‘I don’t know. He seems to have lots of friends.’

‘He has projects. He has people who interest him. But it’s not the same thing.’

‘I like him. He’s been good to me.’

‘I’m not saying he isn’t kind,’ said Erica. ‘If anything, he’s too kind. For a while, at least. And then, quite suddenly, he isn’t.’

‘That sounds ominous. What happens?’

‘Oh, nothing really. Nothing happens.’

James nodded. He didn’t understand, but that was all right for now. For now, he wanted to think about other things.

‘When we met before, I thought you worked with Felix. But you don’t, do you? You work for the government or something.’

‘No, sorry – that was a misunderstanding. I’m not a brand planner, I’m a town planner.’

‘You should have told me. I think that’s so much more interesting. I hate advertising.’

As she said this, Erica squeezed his hand. He squeezed hers. They stood for another minute, maybe two, without saying anything.

‘Okay?’ she said.

‘Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?’

‘It’s fine. To be honest, I’m just glad to get away from Rick. He’s such a creep. He’s been harassing me all night.’