‘Okay.’
‘First of all, just to check. Are you still in love with Alice?’
‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’ said Felix.
‘I don’t want to go out with her,’ said James. ‘But it would be nice if she wanted to go out with me.’
‘Yes, I can see that. Next question: do you want a different career?’
‘Well, there are some issues with the job I’ve got. But I like being a town planner. I trained to become one.’
‘And the job you’ve been offered, the one in Nottingham. Presumably that would solve a lot of those issues? I mean, you’d be paid more, you could live in a nice place, that kind of thing.’
‘Yes, all those things. I liked it there. Or at least, as I remember it, I do.’
‘But if you did leave London now, it would feel like you’ve given up. As if you were running away.’
‘Yes, that’s exactly what it would feel like.’
‘Okay, this is what I think the problem is – and excuse the pop psychology, but it is the best kind. What you’re seeking is respect – some admiration and affection. Your hope is that having a better job, more money, a girlfriend, a house, high-quality material possessions will get you that.’
‘Yes, well, they would. They would get me a lot of those things.’
‘If that was the case, then the move to Nottingham is actually not a bad strategy. One of the most effective ways to find happiness is to spend your life around people who earn less than you.’
‘But you don’t think I should go back there, do you?’
James was, for a moment, suddenly anxious. What would happen now? What if Felix told him he should go to Nottingham? Did that mean he would just go? Was Felix rejecting him already, sending him out to spend his life with people on lower incomes? And why on earth should he take Felix’s advice? He barely knew him. But there was no doubt that’s what he was doing. No wonder he was so successful at advertising.
‘No,’ said Felix. ‘No, I don’t think you should. The problem you’ve got is not winning other people’s respect, but your own. You’ve got a self-respect deficit.’
James took a gulp of beer. Felix seemed to have got to the root of the problem with unnerving precision and speed. Of course, there was always the chance that it was a different problem, or that he was completely wrong. But the swiftness of his reasoning was impressive.
‘Don’t worry, it’s incredibly common. Among Western males, it’s practically universal. In fact, it’s the principal reason why the advertising industry exists. You just need some personal, rather than professional, development. You need self-respect, confidence, contentment, enlightenment.’
‘But I can’t just conjure up those things. I can’t just become a different person.’
‘Well, it’s actually not that difficult. But for the time being, you’ll need to be in London. Otherwise I can’t help you.’
But now that Felix had decided he should stay, James wasn’t sure if that was what he wanted either. Getting out of London meant a promotion and pay rise, the chance to own a property, no need to go to restaurants with friends from university. These were all real things.
‘I think part of the problem is that you haven’t yet developed a coherent vision. You’ve got some ethics, but they’re just another source of confusion. What you need is a worldview. You need some kind of overarching belief about the nature of the universe and your place in it. That’s where the self-respect will come from.’
Well, there was something in this – James could see that. He’d often, in fact, thought it himself. He needed to be anchored. He needed a philosophy, something to base himself around – a cornerstone to his personality that wasn’t just his certificate in town planning.
‘It doesn’t even have to be true,’ continued Felix. ‘In fact, it’s actually better if it’s unverifiable – but it does have to work for you. You have to be able to believe it enough so that a rich and fulfilling life can flow.’
‘So I need a worldview. Okay, yes, I accept that. But how do I get one? It’s too late to go back to university. Won’t I have to read a load of books, or canoe down the Ganges or something?’
‘Don’t worry. None of that is necessary. That’s the whole point of London: we’ve imported it all. You don’t have to backpack across the southern hemisphere – you just get a train down to South London. Who needs Johannesburg and Calcutta when we’ve got Hackney and Southall? Some of the most spiritually powerful and economically dysfunctional places in the world are only a few miles away.’