And then she thought of Devon.
Her husband.
Her first love.
Only a day ago, she had knelt at his grave, grieving his absence, cherishing his memories. Yet not once had he come to mind while Sean’s lips and hands were on her body. Recognizing this, she waited for a rush of guilt or betrayal, which she expected would always follow her encounters with another man.
But it wasn’t there.
The truth was, she felt alive and, in a way, liberated. As though the part of her that she had taken for dead had merely been asleep and was finally awake. Maybe later she would reflect on the day and feel differently, but not now. For now, she would relish the sensation, unconcerned of what it meant or where it would lead.
Once parked at the apartment, most of the lot empty, she took a minute in her car to reset her nerves. Particles from the barn dotted her shirt. Tess’s advice flew back to her, about the need for a good old-fashioned roll in the hay, and Audra had to smile. She wiped off her shirt and pants. In the rearview mirror she checked for hay in her hair.
That’s when she noticed a man in the reflection. Sunlight made his face difficult to see, but one thing was clear: He was headed straight for her car.
54
Out of the morning quiet came an inquiry from the person Vivian least expected.
“Are you absolutely sure about this?” Luanne said pointedly. “Because if you’re not . . .”
At the vanity, seated in her bathrobe, Vivian lowered the cardinal-red lipstick she was about to apply. She turned toward her roommate, who stood at the closet in her freshly buttoned dress.
“Please, don’t get me wrong,” Luanne continued. “I adore the thought of calling you my sister. And I know it might be unfair of me to say anything, with the ceremony only hours away. It’s just that everything’s moved so fast. Especially given how much he’s been out of town.”
Vivian admitted to her: “I do understand why you’d be concerned.”
When Gene and Vivian announced the news right after the proposal, Luanne had smiled and bid them good wishes. There had been an uncertainty, however, underlying her manner. Not unlike the doubts that festered in Vivian. Still, the week had rolled on without dissent, until this moment.
“This isn’t just about me, Viv.” Luanne took a step closer. “You haven’t even told your parents. Don’t you think they’ll be upset to have missed it?”
“They’ll be fine–after a while. Besides, it’s best this way. I don’t want the fanfare of a big wedding and neither does your brother.” What’s more, an event like that would take months that Vivian could not afford to spare.
“But shouldn’t your father at least give his blessing?”
“Gene was going to ask him, but there’s no guarantee when my father will actually return. Then there’s the business of my parents not even being at the same house. Don’t you see? This helps avoid all of those issues.”
“Well, yes. I suppose....”
“Luanne, good grief. I thought you were overjoyed we became a couple.”
“I was. I am. But still–”
Vivian could not bear any more of this. “Gene and I are going to be happy together.” The declaration shot out with such potency, she wondered which of them she was trying more to convince.
After a pause, Luanne gave a look of regret. “I’m sorry, Viv. I didn’t mean to imply that you wouldn’t be.”
Vivian shook her head, bridling her emotions. “It’s okay. You were right, it has moved fast.” She shrugged and said, “We’re just eager to make it official and don’t see the point in waiting. The same as a lot of other couples these days.”
Given the recent rash of deployment, sprints to the altar had become commonplace, even for people who had scarcely met. The fact that Gene was stationed in the States hadn’t stopped Vivian from using this rationale as a source of self-assurance.
“We love each other, Luanne. We really do.”
Though truth upheld the words, Vivian withdrew her gaze, fearing it would reveal more than she wished to share. As she busied herself with powder, Luanne slipped into a pair of heels and approached the vanity. She gave Vivian’s shoulder a tender squeeze.
“I still need to pick up your bouquet,” Luanne said with notable lightness. “I’ll see you there?”
Vivian smiled without turning. “See you there.”
Some would say it was bad luck, letting Gene view her before the wedding. But Vivian had come to learn that in spite of one’s efforts–avoiding cracks, crossing fingers, flinging salt-most in life occurred with little control.