The Phoenix Candidate(60)
“Rankin here.” His tone is commanding, his accent clipped.
“It’s Grace.” How could he not know it’s me?
“Just a moment, please.” I hear rustling, then a door opens and closes. His voice drops low. “OK, I’m here.”
“What are you doing?” I try to keep the suspicion out of my voice.
“It’s not a good time now, Grace.”
“It’s almost midnight. What could you be—” Oh. I backpedal. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your … business meeting.”
Maybe his candidate and his cock have both moved on to other people. I hold my breath, silently begging him to deny it.
“Look. Things are moving fast here and I’ve got my hands in a lot of pots now.”
I’ll bet that’s not all you’ve got your hands on.
“Lauren came to see me today.” I change the subject, if only to preserve my heart from knowing too much. “Darrow wants me. He wants the endorsement and then he’ll choose me.”
“You’ve got a guarantee on that?” Jared’s tone is harsh.
“No. Not precisely. But since Conover’s going to choose Boyle, Lauren suggested that I could be Darrow’s running mate. If I play ball with their agenda.”
“She means, if you check your platform at the door and fall in line behind his.”
“That’s not what she said.”
“It’s what she meant. Look, Grace, you’ve got no guarantees. With anyone.”
“Not with you, either.” I can hardly keep the bitterness out of my voice. No kissing. No commitments. That’s what Lauren said is Jared’s way.
Jared huffs. “We are not having this conversation now.”
“We’re not having this conversation ever. What are you so afraid of, Jared? Making a commitment to anyone? To me? Because I don’t know where your loyalties lie, and it’s time for me to fish or cut bait. I have to choose.”
“Choose who you trust.”
“You don’t make that easy.” Hell, he makes that damn near impossible with the walls he’s built around his heart and his life. He’s impossible to know, and Lauren’s revelation today makes me question everything I thought I knew about him.
“Then I’ll make it easy for you. You don’t trust me, and yet you trust Lauren, who I’ve told you a dozen times can’t be trusted. But if you’re not going to believe me, then fine, Grace. There’s nothing more to say. I give up. Go with Darrow.”
“You give up?” My voice rises. “Like that? You just fucking give up on me like I’m disposable?”
“Listen to me, Grace.” His voice is low and angry and dangerous. “I did not give up on you. But Conover and Boyle might be a foregone conclusion. I’ve been working all day on that. And I won’t apologize for who my candidate chooses.”
“I won’t apologize for my choices, either.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Grace. If you go with Darrow, you’re going to have to apologize for everything you’re about.”
I’m quiet on the line, still torn between the candidates, and between what I know I need from Jared and what he’s willing to give me. I take a breath, and confess it. “I need you, Jared. I need you on my side.”
“I’m always on your side, Grace. Always.” There’s warmth in the deep timbre of his voice, and yet I can’t believe him. He holds too much back.
“Then tell me what you think is right.”
There’s a long pause on the line, so long I strain to hear the tiniest sounds. Where is he? In Missouri with Conover? Or in some anonymous hotel room with another woman?
“Go with Darrow,” Jared finally says, his normally warm drawl now ice cold.
“What?” I can’t believe I heard him right.
“Go with Darrow,” he repeats. “If being the running mate is your dream, then he’s probably your best hope to make it happen. Conover’s leaning toward Boyle, and this health scare is going to knock him back a few points in the polls at least. He might not even win the nomination. So go with the man who can take you all the way.”
“But you just said—”
“I know what I said!” Jared explodes. “What do you want from me, Grace? A guarantee it’s all going to be flowers and rainbows for the rest of the campaign? Nobody can give you that. Nobody.”
“Not even you,” I add quietly.
“Especially not me.”
I take a long, halting breath, feeling like Jared’s truly given up on me. “When are you coming back to Washington?”