The thing taking shape in the cavern was changing even as the dwarf spoke. The cloud form was now starting to firm up into something even more shapeless, if that makes any sense. Kind of like a huge black hole that you really can’t see at all but you know it’s there.
“Only way anybody can go any further,” added Shelyid cheerfully. “Now that we’re past the Infernal Regions and into the Place Even Worse Than Hell.” He pointed his finger at the thing. “The Evil Horizon, the professor says it’s called. Once you go past it you can’t ever get out.”
A faint ray of hope began to flicker in my heart. Shelyid quenched it immediately. “Unless you mend your wicked ways, of course. But you have to have really really wicked ways to mend, and you have to really really mend them. Big time. Nobody else has a chance.”
His voice was loud enough to be heard by everybody. All eyes turned to Greyboar. Then to me.
“Wonderful,” I growled.
“Ain’t so bad,” chuckled Hrundig. “I might be able to qualify too. Maybe.”
“Wonderful,” I growled. “We’ve been suckered again.”
Chapter 29.
Beyond the Evil Horizon
“This is really why Greyboar and I had to come along on this damn-fool expedition, isn’t it?” I glared at Hrundig; then, realizing the futility of that enterprise, at Shelyid. “You needed us to get through that thing.”
Shelyid shook his head vehemently. “Oh no, Ignace! This is just one of the reasons. We also needed you on account of the Even Worse Hands which are lurking beyond the Evil Horizon.”
The dwarf peered at me dubiously. “I thought you were a student of the wise man,” he complained. “Didn’t you even hear his famous saying that you shouldn’t try to think of the worst thing that could happen because—”
“It’s bound to be worse,” Hrundig chuckled. He clapped me on the shoulder. “Ignace knows that one. I’m sure he does!”
I started to say something sarcastic, but Jenny and Angela distracted my attention. They charged up to Zulkeh and started arguing with him.
“We’re going too! We’re going too!” they shouted in unison.
The wizard scowled. “Nonsense! Utter nonsense!”
They kept hollering. In fact, they were hopping up and down in front of Zulkeh, shaking their little fists in his face.
“Are too! Are too!”
Zulkeh smote the floor of the cavern with his staff. “A Distinction!” he cried. “I demand a Distinction! The Sinners from the Wicked! The Repentant from the Unrueful!”
The vast formless form seemed to quiver a bit. A sound like a huge, distant snicker emerged from the thing. Zulkeh smote the cavern floor again, swiveling his head and glaring furiously at the Evil Horizon.
“What means this insolence?” he demanded. “ ’Tis an outrage!” A moment later he was striding right up to the monstrosity, waving his staff about. The sheer, pure evil emanating from it didn’t seem to faze the mage a bit.
“Mock me, will you?” he demanded. Again, he smote the cavern floor with his staff. “So be it! Wretched ultimate evil! Base cur of low degree!”
He turned his head and glared at the dwarf. “Shelyid! Fetch me the Codex of Evaporation!”
“Right away, professor!” The dwarf started unlacing the top of the giant sack. Ready at an instant—it was obvious to all—to climb into its cavernous interior and retrieve whatever object the mage was demanding.
Zulkeh, meanwhile, was back to shaking his staff at the form of ultimate evil. I swear—I saw it, I tell you—he even took a two-handed swipe at the thing.
“Defy me in my quest, will you?” he shrilled. “We shall see about that, pitiful wretch! Once I begin my intonation of the dread formulae of Hawking Sfondrati-Piccolomini—”
The Evil Horizon suddenly blanched. Weird, that—seeing a black hole turn white as a ghost, for just a nanosecond. But it did. Word of honor.
“Aye, indeed!” spoke Zulkeh. “Indeed! By the first verse, ye shall begin to wither. By the second—”
The Evil Horizon emitted another sound. Like a huge, distant yelp. An instant later, it made a sound something like a belch. Out popped a wizened old demon-sort-of-thing, clutching a ledger and a quill pen.
“Easy, easy!” squealed the demon-sort-of-thing. “Easy, now! We can straighten all this out in a moment!”
There was another belching sound, and a table came flying out. Along with a stool. Another belch, and out came four more demon-sorts-of-things, even more wizened than the first.
The first demon-sort-of-thing hastily arranged the table and stool and set itself up behind it, ledger open and quill pen in taloned hand. The other four ranged themselves in a row off to one side.