The Perfect Stroke(84)

I’m trying to act normal, but there’s this fear that keeps swamping me. There were a lot of people around when we made it back to the hotel. A lot. Gray said he had it handled, but fuck, I don’t know how many people saw me naked. I don’t know what kind of chaos played after I ran away crying. It took Ida Sue an hour to calm me down, but we both know that if this gets out, Riverton will use that against me, which means there’s no way I’ll be able to get the loan from the bank unless Ida Sue performs a miracle. Every time the phone rings, I jump, worried it’s Riverton and praying it’s Ida Sue instead with word from the bank. I don’t care what the terms are; right now, I’d sign away my life if it means keeping the garage from that asshole. I feel so bad. There’s just no words. Jackson has been trying to get a loan, but his credit pretty much sucks after his divorce.

“I wish you would quit asking me that,” I tell Gray, trying not to be frustrated with him. It’s not fair that I’m blaming him, though I am. It’s not his fault I’m in the mess that I’m in, but it is his fault we literally got caught with our pants down.

“I’m worried about you, Cooper.”

“I’m about as good as someone can be when they’ve mooned half of Georgia and then got groped by some perverted doorman.”

“Fucking bastard. I should have hit him harder.”

“Let’s try to just not talk about it, please?”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he says. He sounds so sad, I feel like a bitch for being upset.

“I know,” I tell him, then wince. I made the decision to make love with him. It’s not his fault completely and yet I realize I am holding a grudge. I’m blaming him.

“C’mon, CC. Talk to me. What’s upsetting you the most?”

“You need more besides what we just talked about?”

“I can’t help feeling like there’s something more. You need to talk to me.”

He’s right. I know he is. I take a deep breath. Is this where I push him away? Is this where I lose him?

“There’s things you don’t know,” I tell him.

He pulls up, turning so he can face me, and I see the worry and maybe even hurt in his face. Guilt swamps me and I try to push it behind me so I can concentrate on what I need to tell him.

“Talk to me, CC.”

“Gray, when Banger got sick, things just got… really bad. It was just me and him. There wasn’t anyone else to depend on.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you.”

My next words stop, and I feel like I’m choking on them. He’s completely serious. I want to believe him, and I think most of me does. There’s still this small voice in my head telling me not to believe him—not to trust him. I have this war going on inside of me. Will he let me down like others have? Will he leave me? Am I being unfair? Why do I insist on making Gray pay for the sins of others?

“Okay, fine!” I tell him, more upset with myself than him and deciding just to lay it out for him. “Gray, I’m in trouble. I made a huge mistake…” I start, when a knock at the door stops me.

Both of us look at the door and Gray huffs in frustration.

“Stay right here and don’t move.” I don’t respond, my eyes still glued to the door. I have a bad feeling. “Do you hear me, CC?” he prompts, and I tear my eyes from the door to look at him.

“Okay,” I say weakly, sitting up.

“I love my family, but I swear they have the most horrible timing,” Gray mutters, walking to the door.

I just keep staring at the door like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. He might think it is family, but something inside of me tells me different, and I know once that door opens, my world is never going to be the same.





Son of a bitch, I can’t believe I was just about to get CC to talk and my family interrupts me. I’m tempted to just ignore the knock, but I know CC won’t let me by with that. My only option is to get rid of them quickly and hope that she doesn’t backpedal. CC’s been better the last few days, but I know something has been bothering her since she left Florida and I had to follow her to Kentucky. I can’t let her weasel out of telling me. I need to know. More than that, I’m tired of dancing around how I feel about her. We’ve been together long enough; she should know that I’m here for the long haul. I should be able to tell my woman I love her without worrying it will make her run for the hills.

“Mom, I appreciate you being worried about—Oh, Riverton. What are you doing here?” I ask once I open the door and discover it’s him there.