The Perfect Stroke(163)
That’s not what tonight is about, however. Tonight is a last ditch effort. I’m at the strip club. I know Roman won’t be here, but he’ll be told I am, especially when I demand to dance. I was never fired, so technically I’m still on staff. It will probably blow up in my face, but maybe Roman will at least come here to talk to me.
Okay, as plans go, it’s shit. I know it. I just know I have to try. I have to. I kept expecting him to reach out to me, especially when he found out that I had cleared his name at the expense of my career. I heard nothing. I thought he would at least talk to me when I showed up at the Stable demanding to see him after Paul was arrested.
I was escorted off the premises. Which leads me to now. I don’t have any hope held out that tonight will end differently than the other numerous times I’ve tried. However, it is my last time to try. If I don’t see Roman tonight, I walk away. It won’t be what I want, but I need to move forward with my life. Besides, I’m getting pissed at him. I know he’s mad and he gets to be angry, but to just refuse to talk to me and walk away as if we were nothing to each other…?
“Ana? What the fuck are you doing here?”
I stop in front of the back dressing rooms, shock flooding through my system. Of all the people I thought would be here tonight, this wasn’t one of them.
“Allen? What—I mean, how… When did this happen?”
“I’m working for Roman a few nights a week. Just to see…”
“See what? Why would he let you work for him? I don’t understand,” I mumble, thoroughly confused. What am I missing here? And why does Allen seem… almost normal? What happened to the angry brother who hated the world? I have so many questions, but before I can ask them, Allen is grabbing my hand.
“You need to get out of here,” he grumbles, his grip firm as he tries to pull me away. I jerk against his hold, easily breaking free.
“I’m not going anywhere. Tonight is my regular night to dance,” I announce. Allen’s eyes go wide and he shakes his head in disbelief. I try to stand tall at my announcement, but avoid looking into Allen’s eyes. The last thing I need is for him to read the panic in them.
“Are you crazy?” Allen cries. “Roman isn’t going to let you dance!”
“Well, he didn’t fire me. Until he does, I’m dancing.”
“Ana, you’re being stupid. If Roman finds out you’re here, he’ll have you escorted out of the club so fast your head will spin. Hell, as mad as he is at you right now, he may have you arrested for trespassing.”
“Then he’ll have to be the one to tell me that himself, won’t he? And when did you become Roman’s right hand man, anyway?”
“I’m trying to change, and Roman’s helping. I’d be glad to talk to you about it. Some other time. Not tonight. There’s shit going on and I need you out of this club.”
“There’s always shit going on. Allen, I can’t leave. I have to talk to Roman,” I finally tell him, desperation and honesty breaking through my stupid plan.
“Ana, he doesn’t want to talk to you right now. You need to give him time. He…”
“He has had time! I at least deserve him telling me that he hates me and never wants to see me again! He owes me that!”
“I don’t owe you anything, Ana.”
I freeze when Roman’s voice interrupts. I turn around slowly to look at the man who has haunted my dreams. He looks as good as he ever did, his suit impeccable, his hair a little longer, but I like it. He has circles under his eyes and a five o’clock shadow that I’ve never seen on him before. It looks good.
“We need to talk, Roman,” I tell him and hope like hell my courage doesn’t disappear.
I hate her. At least that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself. People don’t lie to me and live. They sure as fuck don’t betray me as deeply as Ana did. I’ve cut her out of my life. I’m done. Those are all things that I’ve repeated to myself over and over the last month. Things that I tried to drum into my head even as I would jack off to the memory of her sweet pussy draining me dry. I thought I had succeeded. I was able to function through the day now instead of wanting to drown myself in booze. The only time I allowed my obsession with her to overtake me was when I was home alone. That had to be progress.
One look at her tonight, and I know I’ve been lying to myself. She’s wearing faded jeans, the fabric worn so much the once dark blue color is practically the color of ice, faded and cold. My fingers itch to hold her ass and see just how soft the cloth would feel. She has on a black t-shirt and it makes her look pale and washed out, but even with that, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.