The Perfect Happiness(8)
“No.”
“Erotica?”
She laughed throatily. “Not yet.”
“I’m determined to find out. I’m a Scorpio: once I set my heart on something, there’s no stopping me.” His gaze was too intense: she had to look away.
“I’m not even sure how I’m going to do it, if at all. Olivier thinks it’s too ambitious.”
“That’s not very supportive.”
“But it’s honest. Olivier is very honest.” She looked down at her belt and sucked in her stomach.
“He must be proud of your writing, though.”
“Of course he is,” she replied, but even she could detect the lie in her voice. Olivier didn’t think there was much of a challenge in writing for children; she rather hoped she’d prove him wrong with her new idea.
“Is he the good-looking Frenchman over there?” He nodded in Olivier’s direction.
“That’s the one.”
“Does that dog stay on the porch?”
“I think so. He does a lot of barking, though.”
“Dogs need to bark, makes us feel butch.”
“Give them long leads and they generally don’t stray farther than the edge of the porch. If it’s a big porch, which Olivier’s is.”
“Lucky Olivier.”
“I know. It’s the biggest porch in London.”
He frowned. “No, he’s lucky to be married to the most beautiful girl in London.”
Angelica laughed and looked down at her plate. “Scarlet’s right—you’re an incorrigible flirt.”
“Not at all, my bark is bigger than my bite. But you are very beautiful.” She dismissed his comment with a toss of her hair, but he continued without taking his eyes off her. “I like sensual women. Women with big hearts. Passionate women.”
“Like your wife,” she teased.
“Exactly, like my wife.” But his eyes twinkled again with mischief, and Angelica smiled into her glass.
“So, what’s the new subject?”
“I can’t discuss it with you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m the perfect person to discuss it with, because you don’t know me. I won’t judge you, because I don’t know you, either. In fact, I am the only person here you can discuss it with.” He replenished her wineglass and sat back in his chair expectantly.
“You’re very persistent.”
“When I know what I want.”
“All right.” The wine had made her reckless. “I’m not sure I want to continue writing children’s books that are simply good adventure stories. I want to explore the deeper meaning of life. Perhaps add another layer, like a parable, for me as much as for my reader. I want to find the elusive happiness we’re all searching for.” She stopped his interrupting by raising her hand and continuing at great speed, wishing she’d never begun. “Before you laugh at me, I want to add that I’ve read all those self-help and esoteric books. I know all the clichés. We all know those. The secret is putting them into practice in a practical way. We can’t all become hermits and meditate in distant caves. There must be a way of finding heavenly peace while living in the material world. I just feel there’s more to life than living it mechanically. There, I’ve said it. Now it’s your cue to laugh.”
He let her finish, then nodded gravely. “I’m not laughing. It’s probably the best idea you’ve ever had.”
Her face lit up at his unexpected approval. “You really think so?”
“Absolutely. Everyone is driven by a desire to be happy.”
“Yet so many people are miserable.”
“The secret you’re looking for is love.”
“Well, I know that much.”
“Then you don’t need to write the book.”
“It’s not that simple. Pure, unconditional love is near impossible.”
“No, it isn’t. You feel it for your children, don’t you?”
“Well, do I? Of course I’d kill for them and die for them. But I’m not sure it’s completely unselfish. I need them. That’s ego driven, isn’t it? I mean, it might be better for them to go to boarding school, but I can’t bear to be parted from them, so they’ll go to London schools. That’s conditional love, isn’t it? True happiness comes from loving unconditionally—and I don’t just mean our own children, I mean everyone.”
“Well, I do see there’s a problem there. I find most people intolerable.”
“You see? Jesus loved everyone unconditionally. All the great teachers and avatars preached unselfish, absolute, un-reserved love. The kind of love that loves no matter what. Impossible for we less spiritual creatures.” She grinned at him playfully. “I certainly don’t love Olivier unconditionally.”