“Look, I made a mistake. It’s only a coat.”
“You let a total stranger into our house. He could have hurt the children!” He sighed melodramatically. “Well, I suppose I should be thankful that you didn’t hand them over so guilelessly.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“I don’t know that I can trust you where they are concerned. You put them in danger.”
Angelica stood up, fists clenched at her hips as if she were about to strike him. “How dare you question my ability to look after the children! You don’t know the half of it. You’re in the office all day, returning late in the evening in a bad mood. Who looks after them on a daily basis? Who’s there to make sure they are picked up from school and fed? Who does their homework with them lovingly, every day, so that they understand their lessons? Who picks them up when they fall? Who kisses them better? Who tucks them in at night?” Then she fired her most lethal weapon. “Who do they run to when they need reassurance or when they hurt themselves? Don’t ever call me a bad mother. I’m a bad wife, sure, I’ll accept that. And you know what? Right now I don’t care. I gave your coat away . . . I wish I’d given you away!”
Olivier watched her stride out of the room and into the hall. She grabbed her coat and handbag and marched into the cold street. Olivier heard the door slam and remained rooted to the floor in astonishment. When he had calmed down, he realized that he had gone too far.
Angelica ran down Kensington Church Street, turning right at the church to sit on one of the wooden benches in the garden behind. It was dark, and she was alone. The old York flagstones glistened with damp. Not even pigeons ventured out on such a cold night. She wrapped her coat tightly around her shoulders and sobbed uncontrollably. The injustice of his accusation had wounded her deeply, as if he had taken a blade and sliced through the roots of her identity and pride. Joe and Isabel meant everything to her.
When she had stopped crying, she pulled out her mobile telephone and dialed Jack’s number. The rings seemed to go on forever, but when he finally answered, the sound of his voice assuaged her anger, replacing the hate in her heart with love. A mental picture formed of Jack on a mountain flooded with light, while Olivier dwelt in a valley of shadow. Her spirit longed to join Jack up there where it was warm and radiant.
“Olivier is the sort of man who says things he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. Don’t begrudge him for feeling frightened, Angelica,” he advised after she had told him what had happened.
“He’s hurt me,” she said, her eyes again welling with tears.
“My darling, don’t cry. You’ll be out here the day after tomorrow and in my arms as soon as you get to the hotel.”
“If it wasn’t for my children, I’d never want to come back.”
“When you told me the story, you frightened me, too.”
“But you were kind.”
“That’s my nature. I’m not hotheaded. I’m philosophical, and besides, I don’t imagine you’ll ever let a stranger into your home again, or give away one of Olivier’s precious coats.”
“He’s very proud of his clothes.”
“There’s no point getting angry with someone when they know very well how foolish they have been. There is no better teacher than experience.”
“I wish Olivier felt like that.”
“Experience is his best teacher, too. I bet he regrets saying that to you. He’ll learn to think before he speaks.”
“I don’t want to go home.”
“You have to face him and make up before you fly out tomorrow.”
“I don’t have the heart to.”
“Then take a walk, let the wind blow your anger away. Think about positive things.”
“Like you.”
“If that helps.” He chuckled, and she felt the gloom lift a little.
“Life is too short to waste even a moment being angry. Every second is precious. Go home, wrap your arms around your children—that’ll make you feel better. Then wrap your arms around Olivier and make up.”
“I’ll do no such thing. He should apologize first.”
“Perhaps you have to be the bigger person this time.”
“I’m not feeling big at all. I’m feeling hurt and furious and very small.”
“Not the Sage I know, debating the secret of happiness, talking so fluently about the need to love unconditionally and detach from our egos. If you detach now, your pain will disappear because it is attached to your ego. No ego, no pain.”
“How simple that sounds. But I have a very long way to go.”