“I don’t think I’ll have time for that, sadly. Olivier will only let me go for a week, and it’ll be packed with work.” She caught Candace’s eye.
Candace put down her knife and fork and placed her hands in her lap. “You know what, Angelica, if you want to go to that vineyard, you’ll make time. No one ever turned down an opportunity like that because they didn’t have the time.”
By that, Angelica knew she meant an affair. And as always, she was right.
16
Count your blessings and watch them multiply.
In Search of the Perfect Happiness
Angelica dreaded Candace’s confronting her about Jack. But it was inevitable. Candace was not the sort of girl who swept things under the carpet and dissembled when she was furious or upset. Angelica knew she’d always tell her the truth, even though the truth hurt. The only consolation was that her friend had a big heart, and her advice was never for her own selfish ends. Candace was immune to jealousy, secure in her own skin and solid in her beliefs.
The moment came over coffee in Starbucks on Kensington High Street an hour before picking up the children for the Christmas holidays.
“Look, Angelica,” Candace began, stirring her cappuccino. “I know you’re still communicating with Jack. I’ve known it for months. I don’t mind that you haven’t told me. I shouldn’t expect you to tell me everything.” Angelica made to speak, but Candace stopped her. “No, let me finish. I also know that you’re going to see him in South Africa. I have strong instincts, so don’t deny it. And I know you saw him the night of Kate’s party for Art, and I know you’ve been texting—and probably calling, for all I care. The point is, I’m your friend, and I’m concerned about you. I can’t let you walk into something that has the potential to tear your family apart. I have to warn you because you don’t seem capable of seeing the pitfalls yourself.”
“I know the pitfalls.”
“No, you don’t. You think you know the pitfalls. If you really knew them, you’d make damn sure you avoided them at all costs. Right now, you’re in love. You can’t see beyond your desire, which is totally understandable. Desire clouds a person’s judgment. But I beg you, cancel your trip and stop communicating with him. This is way more dangerous than you can imagine, in your state of mind.”
“Firstly, I’m not having an affair.”
“An affair is not simply sex, Angelica. You’re having an affair of the mind, and that’s almost worse. If it was just sex, I’d say, do it, finish it, and leave it alone. An affair of the mind is an addiction and therefore far harder to quit.”
“We’re friends.”
“No, you’re not. Friends want the best for each other. If he’s pursuing you, then he’s not your friend: he’s only thinking of himself and his desires. If he really cared about you, he’d leave you to your husband and your children.”
Angelica began to bite her nail. “I probably won’t see him in South Africa.”
“Bullshit. You’ve already arranged to see him. Don’t tell me that you haven’t already told him you’re going and that he hasn’t already invited you to his farm. What on earth does his wife think? Will she be there? Have you asked? Will his children be there? What will Olivier say when he finds out? Which he will, because they always find out, one way or another. Are you the only one he’s chasing? From what Scarlet says he has a girl in every town.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Angelica replied quickly.
Candace raised an eyebrow. “Oh dear, you have got it bad. Look, you have to ask yourself the questions: What does he want from you? Where’s it going to go? Do you want to leave Olivier and the children and run off with him? Are you going to break up two families to be together? Is that what you want?”
“Of course not!”
“Then drop it, Angelica.”
They drank their coffee in silence while both digested what had been said. Finally, Candace drained her cup. “Are you and Olivier having problems?”
“No.”
“Things are really bad in the City at the moment. Olivier is probably terrified of losing his job. He must be beyond stressed out.”
“He is very stressed and completely self-absorbed,” Angelica replied bitterly.
“So he’s not listening to you. You’re not listening to him. He’s not giving you attention. Look, it happens. Romance gives way to domestic life. That’s what marriage is. But you have to work at keeping the romance burning. Maybe you should both go away without the children. Be a man and woman together rather than a mother and father. Remember what attracted you to him in the first place. If your lives are running parallel but not touching, then you have to rebuild the tracks. Olivier’s a really great guy, and he loves you. Isabel and Joe depend on you. Their entire world rests on you and Olivier. You break up, the foundations crack beneath them. The simple truth is that you can’t have everything you want in life. Duty has to come first when you’ve brought two little people into the world. It’s your responsibility to give them a solid base camp for life. Don’t think it isn’t.”