“We love each other enough to trust each other, if that’s what you mean.”
“I hated your swinging parties as a child. I felt they were more important than us.”
“I know you did, love. That’s why I wanted to come and see you today. I nearly lost you in South Africa, and that would have meant that I never had the opportunity to tell you how sorry I am that you felt like that. It’s been bothering me for years, but I was too proud to talk to you about it. The robbery concentrated my thoughts. Life is too short to spend it with one’s head under the carpet, avoiding the important things. The truth is that Denny and I were very selfish in those days. We let you down when you needed us most. I wanted to come now, because you’re never too old to need your mother, and it’s never too late for your mother to come to your aid.”
Angelica took Angie’s hand. “It’s never too late, Mum.”
When the doorbell rang again, Angelica looked confused.
“That’ll be your sister, Angelica. She’s come to pick me up. She also wanted to see you.”
“You can stay here if you like,” Angelica suggested.
“You need to be with your husband. I can’t have two sons-in-law falling by the wayside. Go and open the door, love. Daisy’s been worrying, too.”
Angelica unbolted the door. Daisy stood on the doorstep looking pale and ashamed. Her big eyes shone with regret that so many years had been wasted in bitterness. Without a word they embraced. They understood each other without the need to articulate in syllables what they both felt in their hearts. Angie went to the cupboard and took down another cup.
After they had gone Angelica bathed the children and put them to bed. She lingered over their bedtime stories and smothered their smooth faces with kisses, taking pleasure from every moment, however small. She enjoyed the Full Joe and the Full Isabel, savoring the smell of their skin and the warm feel of their bodies as they wrapped themselves around her, begging her to stay just a little longer. She shoved Kate to the back of her mind as she made every effort to live in the present.
Downstairs, she poured herself a large glass of wine. She sat at the kitchen table and deliberated whether to confront Olivier. If he was innocent, wouldn’t her suspicion lead him to suspect her? She was afraid even to mention adultery in case he questioned why she was considering it. Olivier was very astute and rarely missed a trick. It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that he might start doing sums of his own.
As she prepared dinner, she thought of Anna, trying to channel some of her wisdom and tolerance. Say Olivier and Kate had slept together: Kate had said it was a one-night stand that had meant nothing, something they both regretted, it wasn’t going to happen again, in which case it wasn’t an affair, but a mistake. How could she pass judgment when she herself had fallen in love with Jack and had an affair lasting months? At least Kate and Olivier weren’t in love with each other. She could forgive that. But what of Kate’s baby? Please God, let that baby belong to Pete.
At last Olivier arrived. He swung open the door and called her name, a vast bouquet of lilies in his arms. “I thought these would make you feel better,” he said. Angelica tried to behave normally and took them from him with a smile. The actions of a guilty man? she wondered.
“They’re lovely, thank you.”
He kissed her. “How are you feeling?”
“So much better. Mum came and we talked. Then Daisy joined us. It was good. We should have done it years ago.”
“Sometimes it takes a scare to frighten everyone into realizing what’s important.” He looked at her intensely.
She returned his look, searching for any indication of his adultery. “You’re so right.”
“I bet the children were pleased to see you.”
“So pleased.”
“They missed you.”
“And I missed them.”
“Did you miss me?” he asked, pulling a sheepish face.
“Of course I did.” She watched him take off his coat and hang it in the cupboard. In all his years of flirting she had never feared he’d leave her. Now she was no longer sure of him. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“I’d love one.” He followed her into the kitchen. “So what’s up?”
“Kate has left Pete,” she said, watching his reaction carefully.
“I’m surprised he didn’t leap first.” He shrugged. “It was always going to happen.”
“I don’t know. I thought they were trying to make it work.”
“No one could possibly stay married to her.”
She stood at the stove and stirred the tomato sauce for the pasta. “I thought the baby might help them patch it up.”