“The children are fine?”
“Yes. Everything’s fine. I didn’t expect him to call me here. He got your number from Scarlet. I truly thought something dreadful had happened. He frightened the life out of me.” She placed a hand across her pounding heart.
“Do you want a drink?”
“Or two?”
He put his arm around her and pulled her close. “You’ll see them on Monday.”
“I know.” She lowered her voice. “That’s what terrifies me, Jack. I want to see my children, but I don’t want Monday to come. I want to stay here with you.”
“Don’t think about Monday, my darling. It’s still a long way off, and we still have many hours together.” He stood up and offered her his hand.
She took it, rising to her feet. “I want you and my children, Jack.”
“I know.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Come on, let’s finish dinner, then we can sit in the pagoda and look at the stars.”
Angelica felt she had to explain her tearstained face, so she repeated what she had told Jack about Joe and Isabel and how much she missed them.
“I hope I’ll worry about them less when they’re older.”
Anna smiled serenely. “You worry about them more as they get older because the dangers get worse the more independent they become.”
“Oh, Mum!” Lucy complained. “Come on, Fiona. I think it’s a good time to leave.” The girls excused themselves and disappeared into the house.
Anna laughed. “The trick is to worry about things where you have a certain degree of control, not about things over which you have no control at all.”
“I worry about everything,” said Angelica hopelessly.
“Worry is a negative emotion. It does nothing but eat away at you. If worry changes nothing except your state of mind, then it is better cast aside. Do you pray?”
“Yes. Mostly when things are bad.”
“That’s okay. But you pray for your children?”
“Of course.”
“Then worry is like negative prayer. You’re simply wrapping them in your dark thoughts. If you send them love, your thoughts reach them as light. Don’t send them your fears, send them your love. Be constructive.”
“Do you really believe in the power of prayer?”
Angelica looked at Anna and Jack, who were holding each other’s gaze for a long moment; she felt the chill of an outcast. They shared an understanding with which she could never hope to compete.
“I believe in miracles,” Anna continued. “But I also believe there are things in our lives that are set in stone, things we cannot change, even with the power of prayer.”
“Such as?”
“Death. When we have served our purpose, it is simply time to go home, whether we are young or old.”
“I fear losing my children, all the time,” Angelica confessed.
“So do I. But everything life throws at us is to teach us important lessons. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react. The greatest freedom man has is choice.” Angelica looked at Jack. Now she knew where he got his ideas. “Nietzsche said, ‘He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.’”
“Do you have a why?” Angelica asked.
“Yes. My life has purpose. There is purpose in everything life throws at me, good or bad. But no one can tell anyone else what their purpose is. Everyone must find it out for himself.”
Angelica wondered what Scarlet would make of this conversation and smiled inwardly at the thought of her cynical face and rolling eyes.
“Let’s go and look at the stars,” said Jack, draining his glass.
“You go. I’m tired from picking all those grapes this morning. Tomorrow will be the same, so I think I’ll go to bed early. I hope you don’t mind.”
Angelica felt guilty that her spirits lifted at the thought of being left alone with Jack. “Can I pick with you tomorrow?” she asked, getting up.
Anna looked pleased. “Of course. More hands the better.”
“Then that is settled,” said Jack, pushing out his chair. “We’ll be up at dawn to pick. We’ll have a braai here for lunch. Then I want to take Angelica into Stellenbosch.”
“Good idea,” Anna agreed.
“We can stop at Warwick on the way back for a sundowner.”
“What’s Warwick?”
“A beautiful vineyard about half an hour’s drive from here.”
“Don’t forget I’m taking Lucy into Cape Town tomorrow afternoon. We won’t be back until late.” Anna embraced Angelica affectionately. “No more worrying, okay?”