He stared at me as if I’d asked something completely foreign of him. “Joey, you have to promise me or I’m not stepping one foot out of this car.”
“Fine, I promise.”
“Promise what?” I tested.
“I promise that if you want to leave, we will. Even though you won’t want to leave at all because these seats are choice. You can probably high-five your friend if you want to.”
My legs shook as Joey took my hand, leading me toward the blue and orange gate. Security checked my bag before ushering me through in a slightly less friendly way than I was used to. New Yorkers are a little more brash.
We walked down the stairs toward the field. I could tell by Joey’s pace that we weren’t stopping anytime soon. My stomach knotted up while my heart struggled to remain consistently beating. I refused to look around for Jack, terrified at how my body would react.
When he stopped at the very front row, he turned around and threw out his arms. “Well? What do you think? Pretty great, right?” he asked, clearly proud of his seat-purchasing ability.
“Uh-huh. They’re really close to the field,” I said between laboring breaths, my gaze desperately pinned to his face.
“Are you okay?” He put his hand on my shoulder and I winced.
“I need to get a drink.”
“I’ll get it for you,” he offered, his face creased with worry.
“No, that’s okay. I need to use the restroom too. I’ll be right back.” I tried to force a smile, but my lips felt broken as I rushed back up the stairs and out of view.
I sprinted to the closest bathroom, locking the stall door behind me as my upper body crumpled. With my head between my knees, I began rocking back and forth.
Stop it. You’re acting like an idiot. Jack won’t see you. He never looks up in the stands. He doesn’t even like you anymore, so stop freaking out. It’s time you moved on with your life and got over Jack Carter once and for all. You have got to stop thinking about him because he is clearly not thinking about you.
I nodded as my own thoughts struck a chord within me. I could do this. I could be strong. I could watch Jack play baseball and not want to die from it.
I think.
A few more calming breaths and I unlocked the latch, walking out to face my reflection in the mirror. I wiped at the smears of mascara under my eyes and washed my hands under the running cold water.
I stopped at a concession stand to buy a bottle of water before heading back down to our dugout level seats. Joey smiled as he caught sight of me, his bright white teeth a welcome sign to anyone.
“You okay?” He stood up and took my elbow in concern before sitting down again as I plopped into my seat.
“Much better, thanks,” I answered, taking a drink of water.
“So which one’s your friend from school? Can you tell?”
If seeing Jack didn’t kill me tonight, this guy’s questions were sure going to. I couldn’t really get mad at Joey, he didn’t know any better. It’s not like I’d told him Jack was my ex-boyfriend whom I’d given my entire heart to and he’d given it back to me in pieces. Want a sliver?
I squinted my eyes and pretended to look around the field for Jack. “I can’t tell, sorry. They all look alike in their uniforms.” I bit my bottom lip.
“Do you know if he starts? Or what position he plays?”
“I have no idea, honestly.”
“Well, what did he play in college?” He kept pushing questions at me and I wanted to scream.
“He was a pitcher,” I replied, forcing back the burning in my chest with another gulp of water.
“Ahhhh, I see.” Joey nodded. “Then he might not even play tonight. I’m sorry if he doesn’t.”
“That’s okay. I wasn’t planning on watching him anyway. You forced me here, remember?” I attempted to smile and he tossed an arm around my shoulder.
“You haven’t even told me your friend’s name. What is it?”
Jesus. This guy was relentless.
“Jack Carter.” I almost stumbled on his name. I hadn’t said it out loud to anyone in almost six months, not counting Dean or Melissa.
“You know Jack Carter?” His jaw dropped before he continued. “He’s an incredible player! And he’s starting tonight.”
“Really? He’s starting?” I braced myself.
“Yeah! Pretty cool, huh?” He leaned his head back before tossing some peanuts in his mouth.
By the time the game started, my body was filled with so much anxiety that I kept shifting in my seat. I grinned as Jack walked onto the field, pleased to see that he still sported the number twenty-three on the back of his jersey.