The Perfect Game(86)

His breath whooshed over the phone line. “My heart has always been with you. Since the day you first rolled your gorgeous green eyes at me. You’ve always had my heart. I’m the one whose been lost without it.”

His words were everything I wanted to hear and didn’t. We’d come so far from where we once were. So much damage had been done and while I still loved him, I was scared to give my heart to him again…at least not easily. “I’ve had to learn how to live without you.”

“And how’s that working out for you?” he asked with a slight laugh.

“Not that great,” I reluctantly admitted.

“Yeah, it didn’t really work out for me either.”

“It sure seemed to.” I wondered if his words meant what I thought they did.

“I never stopped loving you. I know I hurt you…shit.” He stopped as a loudspeaker echoed in the background. “I have to go. I really want to finish this conversation, okay?”

“Sure,” I answered, knowing that eventually I’d need to tell him I was leaving.







Left tickets for you and Melissa at Will Call. Please come. I really want to see you.

“Are you still staring at that text?” Melissa teased.

I rushed to look away from the screen and into Melissa’s eyes. “Not anymore.” I smiled.

“I feel like I’m having déja vu,” she announced with a sigh.

“Why’s that?” I rolled my eyes.

“Because I’m begging you to come to Jack’s baseball game and you won’t. Cassie, it’s his major league debut! At Dodger Stadium! You have to come to that!” She pleaded with me, her eyes wide.

“No, Melissa, I can’t go to that.” I answered quieter than I intended.

“Postpone your flight! How will you forgive yourself if you miss this?”

“If I go to that game and see him, it will change everything. I’ll want to wait after the game for him, and then we’ll go to dinner, and then I’ll spend the night…and it will never end!” I shouted.

“Our cycle will start back up and before you know it, I’ll have not only missed my flight to New York, but I’ll be turning down a a killer job so I can follow him to Arizona! And then eventually I’ll hate I’ll eventually hate him because I gave up the one opportunity I was given to follow my dreams, to follow his dreams, which have nothing to do with mine . I’ll leave him and it will be ugly and messy and then I’ll become turn into some old crazy lady with twenty dogs who talks about the days she used to be a good photographer and dated a professional baseball player!!!!!!”

“Holy shit, over-think things much?” Melissa’s laugh echoed throughout the apartment.

I started laughing too and when I couldn’t stop, I started crying. “Going to watch Jack play just reminds me of everything we used to have, the couple we used to be. I can’t watch him and pretend like I don’t want to be with him.”

“Then don’t pretend, Cassie. Be. With. Him.”

“I can’t, Melissa. I have to be with me,” I said, mimicking her tone. “This job is an incredible opportunity and I need to do something for myself. If I go to that game tonight, I won’t want to ever leave him again. And I have to be able to leave him. For me.”

Her eyebrows pinched together as she nodded. “That actually makes a lot of sense. Which sorta pisses me off because I really want you to come.”

“I know. Trust me, I want to be there. I really do. I just know I can’t handle it. That boy could talk me out of buying an umbrella during a hailstorm.”

“I know what you mean. He’s gonna freak out, though. You know this.”

“You don’t always get what you want,” I said matter-of-factly.

“At least Dean will be there so I won’t have to sit alone.”





TWENTY-ONE



JACK



I made the public relations girl at the field show me exactly where the seats were that I’d left for Cassie. When she pointed them out, I shook my head. “Those aren’t gonna work. They’re fine for my family, but I need two seats right here.”

I pointed to the row of seats directly in line with the dugout. “I don’t care if I have to buy them, I’ll buy them. Just get me two seats right here.”

I wanted to be able to see Cassie. I needed to see her.

“I can do that for you. I’ll just check and make sure the seats are available. I’ll be right back.” She flipped her hair with a smile before walking away.

I looked around at the stadium I’d been to so many times as a kid, my pride swelling. I hopped over the short wall and onto the field, turning around to view the seats I’d chosen. I walked to the mound, glancing at the seat choice, before settling into the dugout. The seats were perfect.