I took these sombre thoughts all the way upstairs with me and all but stomped into my room. I didn’t look behind me to know Draven didn’t follow and somewhere deep was the disappointment when he didn’t. It was buried deep in the same place where I let myself hope he wouldn’t just walk out the door and me telling him I had to go pack was the last words he ever heard from me.
I didn’t have long before my heart was beating faster with the realisation none of this was going to happen because Draven was now shouting my name from the floor above in my old room. I stuck my head round the door frame and shouted up,
“Down here!” I went back into my new room and slumped on the bed staring out of the window to the woods I’d become used to losing myself in.
“Why are you in here and why has your room up there not had your presence in it for a long time?” Draven asked coming to face me. When I didn’t answer him he took the hint and sat next to me on the bed close enough his thigh was flush with mine.
“I just couldn’t face it…you know, after…” I said concentrating on one of the trees outside like it would somehow help me through this.
“Ah…I see.”
“Do you?!” I snapped facing him and I don’t know exactly where that fiery emotion came from.
“I do…it’s the very same reason I have not set foot in our…my bedchamber.” He said looking down at his hands as though for him they had the answers written in secret across his palms.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped. I guess I am just still finding this…”
“Hard, difficult…excruciating.” He said finishing on a whisper.
“Yeah, all of the above.” I said faking a smile as I looked at him.
“I know you don’t believe me but I didn’t choose things to be this way. I never…”
“Don’t.” I said on a plea. This was when he shifted to face me bringing his knee up on the bed making me move back to give him room.
“Please let me say this.” I wanted to protest but how could I? How could I deny anyone their feelings and their choice to finally voice them? So I bit my lip and nodded for him to continue.
“When the decision was made to cut myself from your life it was in the knowledge that you would eventually go on with your life and in time…well, time is supposed to heal all wounds.”
“And for you, what of the man who has eternity ahead of him, how long does it take to heal then?” I asked staring him straight on and trying not to flinch when I saw the purple pulse deeper in the depths of his eyes.
“There is no healing for that man, Keira, there are only many lifetimes of a man who knows the full extent of great loss.”
“Draven…do you think my love for you was any less than that?” I asked shaking my head.
“You don’t see me in the arms of another.” His reply was like a slap and I moved back as if he had in fact struck me.
“No, I just found you in the arms of an ex-lover when you led me to believe you were dead!” I said before standing from the bed and ready to take on a defensive pose which consisted of me with my hands on my hips.
“Keira, please…if you knew the reality you would be disgusted for very different reasons indeed.”
“You know that makes no sense to me.” At that he gave me a sad smile and said,
“I know.”
“Right, well I have to pack and…”
“You need to know about this Alex, Keira…it’s not safe you going off with him where I can’t keep watch over you.” Draven said and I made a little choked sound in the back of my throat as I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“So you were fine walking away last year and leaving me to it but now you know I am moving on, you what exactly…? Now you want front row seats!? Oh I don’t think so!” I shook my head and stormed around ready to go get my cases from Frank when he chose that moment to come lugging them in the door.
“Hey…uh…I’m not interrupting anything here am I?”
“No it’s all fine and dandy Frank, we were just having a friendly chat like the best of buddies we are.” I said feeling my anger bubbling up at the injustice of it all.
“O…kay.” Frank said taking the hint that all wasn’t well and he pretty much dropped the suitcases and ran out of the door to escape.
“Keira, just take a minute and try and be reasonable here, I am doing this for your protection.” Draven said standing himself and turning to face me. I heaved a suitcase onto the bed and Draven watched it bounce before I flung open the lid.