So I cried. I cried for the man who held my heart in his hand and crushed it right in front of me. I cried for the man who still held it in his fist and even though broken, still wouldn’t let it go. I watched the world go by feeling as empty as the road we travelled down and could only muster up enough thanks that I wasn’t alone in this.
I felt like I had been alone for so long now it was like standing at the mouth of a bottomless hollow in the earth looking down. Wondering all the time when a hand would come over the edge of darkness to grab me, pull me under and drag me into my own misery deep enough that I would never be able to claw myself out again.
My mind kept up with these depressing thoughts all the way, up until a point I hadn’t even realised Vincent had killed the engine.
“That’s quite a heavy mind you’ve got there, Beautiful” He said as he raised two gloved hands to my face and used his leather covered thumbs to wipe away my remaining tears. I swallowed what felt like a heartbroken lump and looked up at him as he twisted round to face me. I felt my bottom lip start to vibrate and quickly pulled it into my mouth to try and stop the next round of tears from falling.
“Oh sweetheart, come here,” He said pulling me to his chest after shifting fully on his bike. I went to him willingly and let it all go. I cried until I shook and hiccupped every breath I needed to keep going, dragging it painfully into my lungs. I don’t know how long we stayed like this but he only allowed me to pull away from him after he was sure all my tears were spent.
“Feel better?” I nodded at his question and wiped my eyes with my long sleeves.
“Good because we need to talk.” He said letting go of me and getting off his bike to walk to the edge of the cliff face. I looked around and thanks to the full moon was able to make out where we were. I sucked in a startled breath as the last time I had come here I was also with Vincent but under very different circumstances. He turned to look at me over his shoulder and said,
“I could not think of a better place to have this conversation that would prove my point more,” and then he looked back over towards the rugged mountains where I knew Draven’s cave was hidden away in the jagged rock.
“I can’t go back there.” I even shuddered at the thought, hugging myself.
“And I would not expect that you could but being here, as close as we are, will be enough I think.” I took in what he said and for long moments didn’t move. Thankfully he seemed to know that I needed the time, waiting for me silently with his back to my internal struggles. Finally I nodded to myself and got off the bike to walk slowly over to him. I saw him lift his head to the clear summer sky above as if basking in the moonlight that gave his perfect skin a divine quality. He had never looked more angelic than at this moment.
“Vincent?”
“Umm.” He made a noise almost like he was letting me know he was still with me but was also half consumed with absorbing some kind of energy from above. I placed my hand up on his shoulder as I asked,
“Are you alright?” finally making him break his invisible connection to, I didn’t know what and look down at me stood at his side.
“Truthfully?” I said and I nodded ready for whatever he had to say…or at least hoping that I was.
“I don’t think I ever will be alright until my brother is also.” I winced at this.
“Vincent I…”
“Before I begin, I want you to know that you have not one thing to be sorry for… do you understand, Keira?” He asked interrupting what was going to be an apology on my part in what happened tonight.
“Do you?” He pushed again making me nod, if only to make him feel better. He took in a deep breath and nodded back at me.
“You and your sister are close, are you not?”
“Yeah, we’re close.” I said quietly, having a very good idea where he was going with this.
“And when you hurt, she hurts doesn’t she?” My breathing hitched and I felt the watery film over my eyes suspended there as I tried to gather my emotions back, willing them not to fall again. I thought back to being taken and seeing her for the first time at the hospital.
Many times since I had shamefully thought how I would have handled it if our situations had been in reverse. How I would have felt seeing my sister in that hospital bed, the one broken and not only bleeding on the outside. How hopeless I would have felt for weeks after, seeing her close in on herself. Witnessing more and more with each passing day you lose the sister you once knew. The pain and the anger that flashed across her eyes, all as though she was trying to absorb the hurt right out of me and take it on herself.