The Penguin Who Knew Too Much(43)

“If they were staying longer, perhaps we’d worry about their hygiene,” I said. “But this is just temporary, remember?”

“That's true,” Mother said. Her expression brightened.

“But why can’t they stay?” Eric said. “They’re perfectly happy here.”

“They’re not our penguins, remember?” I replied.

“I’m sure they’d be much happier somewhere else,” Mother added. “In a real zoo.”

“Or back in the Antarctic where they originated,” I said. “I expect they find the Virginia summers rather warm.”

Mother sighed in sympathy and fanned herself a little more briskly.

“Oh, no,” Eric said. “They like it here. Dr. Blake says if they were back in the Antarctic they’d get eaten. By killer whales and leopard seals. He said there's nothing a leopard seal likes better than a fat, juicy—”

“Speaking of Dr. Blake,” Mother said, loudly. “Have you made any progress in figuring out who killed poor Patrick?”

“Is that a non sequitur, Mother?” I asked. “Or merely a subtle way of conveying your suspicion of our eminent visitor?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out, dear,” Mother said.

“I’m working on it,” I said. “Meanwhile, when our helpful legions of family movers have finished with the unpacking, could you steer a few of them to the side yard, to deal with all those holes the Sprockets have been digging?”

“Deal with them how?” Mother said. “Your brother was suggesting—”

“Aunt Meg, look,” Eric called. “The penguins are fighting.”





Chapter 25

“Oh, no, dear,” Mother said. “The penguins aren’t really fighting. I’m sure they’re only pretending.”

Rob, who’d been taking a sip of his lemonade, spluttered and snorted most of it out again, and had to be pounded on the back.

No, the penguins weren’t fighting. Apparently this was their mating season. One penguin—presumably male, though I suspect only another penguin would really know or care—had scrambled atop another penguin. He flapped his stumpy banded wings furiously. He paddled his tiny feet as if trying to outrun an army of leopard seals. And he trilled and cooed with impressive ardor. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to be accomplishing anything.

I couldn’t tell whether the female penguin was sabotaging his efforts in some way or whether he was merely overexcited and inept, but he kept falling off. Sometimes to the left, sometimes to the right, occasionally backward, and once, rather spectacularly, forward, giving himself a painful-looking bonk on the head. In his defense, I noted, the female was almost perfectly round and her wet feathers looked rather slippery. For that matter, the male penguin was fairly round and slippery himself.

So maybe he wasn’t all that effective, but I’d give him an A+ for persistence. And while the other penguins seemed completely uninterested in the spectacle, Rob was literally rolling on the ground, uttering the occasional shriek of laughter when he got his breath. Spike seemed to be having a great time barking at the whole thing, but Eric was watching with a puzzled frown on his face.

“What is he doing to that other penguin?” he asked.

“Meg, dear,” Mother said, giving me a look that clearly told me to do something before Eric asked any really embarrassing questions. So far, Mother had always successfully delegated the job of explaining anything birds-and-bees related to someone else, and she clearly wanted to keep her record intact. And I had absolutely no desire to explain hot penguin sex to Eric.

“I’m going back to the zoo to snoop around some more,” I said. “But I don’t want anyone to know I’m there, so if anyone asks, cover for me, okay?”

As I’d hoped, this distracted Eric slightly from his fascination with the penguins.

“That's nice, dear,” Mother said.

“Of course, I’m probably going to have to crawl under the fence or pick the lock in the gate or something.”

“Shouldn’t you take someone else along,” Mother suggested.

“To, um... “

“To serve as lookout? Who—Rob? He’d just fall asleep or something.”

“I could help, Aunt Meg,” Eric said.

“Hurry up, then,” I said, looking at my watch. “I want to get this over with as soon as possible. Mother, while I’m gone—”

“Deal with the holes in the yard,” she said, nodding.

“Maybe we’ll see the SOBs again,” Eric said as he picked up Spike and headed for the house.

Maybe I should have explained that remark to Mother, but I just left her with her mouth open and followed Eric.