“What time is it?” she asks.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her, not wanting her to have any excuse to leave this bed. “It’s Sunday and you’re at my place, which means we don’t do anything except eat and screw.”
She raises a perfectly shaped brow. God, she’s stunning even with half her makeup all smeared off her face. “Is that so? I’m not sure I signed up for that.”
“Yes you did,” I say, kissing her shoulder. “When you fucked me last night, you signed up for a lot of things.”
“I don’t recall a contract.”
“No but you did say I was your sex god and you would do absolutely anything for me. And I do mean anything.” I waggle my brows at her.
She lets out a small laugh. “I definitely don’t remember that.”
“Hmmm,” I muse. “Well, maybe I just knew you were thinking it.” I press myself against her, harder. “You know I know you pretty well.”
A shy look comes across her eyes and she looks away. Maybe I’m coming on too strong now.
I reach over and tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. “How are you doing?”
She seems to think about that for a moment and stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t know.”
And that’s a sentence that sends an icy fist into my chest. “You don’t know,” I repeat.
She shoots me an apologetic look. “I mean…I’m happy. I am. Really. I’m just stunned, I think. It happened so fast and…I don’t really have experience in this.”
“Sleeping with men?”
“Sleeping with my friends. My best friend.”
I know what she means but for me it’s not so complicated. Last night, we did what I always thought we were meant to do. It just took us a hell of a long time to get there.
But with nine years of blue balls, I was sure as hell going to enjoy the payoff.
“Well, I’m still your friend,” I tell her. “That hasn’t changed. This is just an extra dimension.”
“So we’re friends with benefits now?”
I shrug, though I was hoping for more than that. “Sure. If that works for you. I got to tell ya, those benefits are a game changer.”
“It’s going to get messy,” she says, her forehead creased and now I see what she’s really worried about. Actually, it’s the exact same thing that I am.
She’s thinking about James.
“It probably will,” I tell her slowly, tugging on a strand of hair. “But that’s the same with any relationship, right?”
“And James?”
I sigh. “Well, James might be an issue.” And I’m wondering if she suspects the same thing that I sometimes do, that he’s still in love with her. “Why do you think he will be?”
“I don’t think he’ll be an issue, per se. But I just don’t know if I want to jump right up and tell him what’s going on. He can be a bit…weird about things. Like, he’ll feel left out or something. I know he gets kind of cagey when we hang out sometimes, just the two of us.”
My heart thumps in my chest like slow footsteps. “Does he?”
She nods. “Yeah. But he’s got his own issues, you know? I mean, we both love him, don’t get me wrong. He’s James. But…I don’t know. He’s just a bit sensitive and I think if we were all suddenly lovey dovey or fucky wucky in front of him –”
“Fucky wucky?”
She ignores me. “If we acted different in front of him, if we changed the dynamic of our friendship, the three of us…”
“But he knows about the pact we made. This wouldn’t be much different.”
“I know but he thinks the pact was bullshit. Just something you made up for fun.”
I frown. “Is that what you thought?”
She purses her lips sheepishly. “Maybe. But it wasn’t, was it?”
I shake my head. “No. It really wasn’t. I meant it.”
“And do you still?”
I nod. “Yes. But now we’re just easing into it, aren’t we?”
“And this is where it will get messy.”
She’s right but I don’t want to deal with any of that, not right now. I just want to enjoy her like this, just like this, and not have to worry about the bigger picture or ruining friendships. Maybe we just need time.
“How about we just keep it a secret,” I suggest. “Like I said last night. Just be mindful, you know? Around others and especially around James. Let’s just enjoy this, us, and concentrate on all the hot sex we’re going to be having instead of whether James is going to feel like a third wheel. He has Penny anyway and what we do here in private isn’t really any concern of his.”