The Pact(49)

“And yet I remember how much you liked him.”

“Didn’t you end up kissing him at one point?”

She waves the suggestion away. “That’s neither here nor there. The point is, you’re attracted to Linden and it’s painfully obvious that he’s attracted to you.”

“What do you mean painfully?” I ask, remembering how hard his cock dug into my hip.

She rolls her eyes. “I think I need some wine to deal with your obliviousness, Steph. Linden’s never looked at you like a friend truly would, like a brother would look at a sister. He looks at you like a man wants a woman. If you want to take a chance on him, I bet he’d be more than willing.”

I don’t really know anymore. He did say he would break up with Nadine. But then what? If we both left our lovers, then what would come of us? Would we sleep together and if we did, would there be anything beyond that? Would we want there to be?

Would the both of us be willing to sacrifice our friendship because of sex?

Unfortunately, I think our friendship has already changed because of this. I will never, ever forget the feel of his lips against mine, the hard length of his cock or the way he made my body submit in seconds. I won’t be able to look past that, see him as purely a friend, even if I never really did to begin with.

And I know that no matter what happens now, that I have to break up with Aaron. It’s the right thing to do and it’s been a long time coming.

I voice this to Nicola who I think will meet me with disapproval since she thinks Aaron is so “hawt” but she only nods. “I think that’s for the best. He’s a good guy but he’s not really for you. Not when there is someone so much better.”

I sit up straighter. “You really think Linden might be good for me?”

“Please. He’s one of your best friends. You know he’s already good for you.”

“He’s a player.”

“And I bet he wouldn’t be with you.”

“Things might go horribly wrong.”

“You’re right,” she says. “They could. You could say they went horribly wrong for me when I took a chance on Phil. But I wouldn’t have Ava here. The chance was still worth it.”

I’m not sure I like Nicola comparing Linden to Ava’s total asshole of a deadbeat dad, but she does have a point. I think.

“Look,” she says, as she brings Ava into her lap and starts to braid her long hair, “you might not think that the one exists but I believe they do. I know they do. You’ve never settled for anything in your life so far, Steph, and you aren’t going to start now, just because society or whatever is spewing their bullshit, that you need to have the perfect life already. Take a chance on Linden. That’s not settling. That’s opening yourself up to something that could be amazing. Don’t you know it’s a woman’s dream to find out the man she’s secretly been in love with has been in love with her this whole time?”

I shake my head. “I never said I was in love with him.”

“But you do love him,” she says. “As he loves you. And that love can morph into something that will blow your freaking mind.”

“And if it doesn’t work out?”

“At least you’ll know. Live with no regrets, that’s what I say.”

“If it doesn’t work out, I’ll regret it. Big time.” If it doesn’t work out, I could lose one of the closest people to me. I would shatter like the thinnest, frosted glass and there would be no Linden to help me pick up the pieces.

Later that night I go home and prepare for a busy week at work. I’m more determined now to find someone to hire. I’m also determined to take Nicola’s advice to heart.

First things first, though. I have to deal with Aaron.

I’ve never been very good at breaking up with people. I hate being the bad guy and I hate ruining what good things they’ve thought of me. I’ve done it, obviously with James and then later with Owen, but Owen’s cheating made it easy to do. All the rest of the guys it was more of an “ignore them and they will go away” kind of deal.

But Aaron isn’t like that. I mean, I have a feeling that in theory it could work. I don’t think Aaron would even notice all that much if I just dropped out of his life. But I owe him a lot more than that.

On Tuesday evening I tell him to come over to my place, that we “need to talk.”

Bless his heart, he didn’t seem concerned about my choice of words and when he showed up at the door, holding a six-pack, it’s clear that he had no idea what was about to come.

When I drop the bomb, he’s even more understanding. It kind of reminds me of a Seinfeld episode, where one of the characters re-examines their reasons for breaking up because the break-up went so well. Aaron made it really easy and for a moment I wonder why I’m breaking up with a guy who can just handle whatever life throws at them.