The Pact(41)

I’m zipping up as soon as I’m out the bathroom door but there she is, hand on her hip, plaid white and pink shirt knotted at the waist, red hair scooped up off her face, showcasing the line between her brows and the slight sneer to her lips.

“Hey babe,” I tell her, giving her my easy smile.

It only rankles her more. She lays into me, rather loudly, that I’m avoiding her and acting like she’s a burden to have around and that I never show her any respect. I’m not sure which parts of that aren’t true, but one of them has to be. And because of that, I kind of feel like an ass. And I don’t protest too much either.

“When we get back home, we need to have a talk,” she says before she storms away, her ponytail nearly slapping me in the face.

I can’t argue with that. We do need to have a talk, I just don’t really know how it’s going to go or what I’m going to say. I wonder how long I can coast through life on nothing but denial.

What I do know is I need to get away from the situation for a moment. I grab another beer and walk out the door, my feet leading me down a gravel path, through bleached fields and dying wildflowers until I’m knee-deep in dune grass and the wind is nearly lifting me off my feet. I’m on the wide, seemingly endless expanse of sandy grey beach that fades away into the ocean mist, like it’s nothing but an apparition.

I sit down on a log and pry the cap off the beer on the edge of the wood. My mind sort of goes into this quasi-meditative state as I watch the waves pound the beach over and over again. The sound, the force, it all makes me go numb, to a place where I want to be.

“Am I going to get in trouble for talking to you?” a familiar voice eventually breaks into my nonsensical thoughts.

I look up and see Stephanie standing to the side of me, the sun lowering on the horizon behind her. She’s backlit and glowing like an angel and I can’t help the easy grin as it slides across my face.

“Probably,” I tell her and then nod to the log. “Sit down. What are you doing out here?”

She lifts her hand and I notice she’s has her phone out. “Taking pictures. You know, for the shop. Like, inspiration for future displays and stuff.” She sits down beside me and starts flipping through it. I watch as some artsy shots of shells and tide pools and driftwood flicker across the screen, then I’m staring at the profile of her face as wisps of chocolate hair constantly move around her cheeks. I’m dying to reach out and smooth them behind her ears so I can stare at her more clearly.

She’s such a beautiful woman. And such a woman. In a way, it’s weird to think like that because I’ve known her since we were twenty-one. We were just kids back then, her with her blue hair and me with my assholeness. Now she’s filled out, like with real curves you just want to grab and squeeze and play with and a face that’s more chiseled and at peace than it ever was before. Every day, every year, feels like an evolution to the person she is now, the woman sitting beside me, especially when you scroll back to where we all started.

I can’t believe I’ve been a part of her life for this long.

She looks up at me, squinting against the light. “What do you think?”

I know she’s talking about the pictures but I say, “I think I’m lucky I’ve known you for so long.”

She jerks her head back slightly then smiles. “Really?”

“Really.”

“That’s surprising,” she remarks.

“Why?”

She raises a shoulder. “I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if you know how lucky you are.” I frown at her and she goes on. “I don’t mean about me. I mean, you know, with your life. Everything.”

“And girlfriend?” It’s a weighted question.

She rubs her hands together and leans over to start playing with the sand, running it through her fingers. “Maybe. If you’re happy, then you’re lucky.”

“And if I’m not happy?”

She pauses, thinking that over. “Then you can change that.”

“I’m not sure that I can.”

She looks up at me. “I know Nadine doesn’t like me. But I also know that I rarely get to see the two of you together. And you and me…well, I’ve been busy. So have you. I don’t really know what’s going on in your life. I don’t know how she treats you. We used to talk about this kind of thing…but now I don’t know anything about your relationship. I just know that you can’t make snap judgements about people. Some people seem like total bitches to everyone else but they can be extremely compassionate, kind and loyal to the ones they love. If Nadine is like that with you, I wouldn’t know about it and it would explain why you’re still with her.”