“Then why did you do it?” I ask and now my voice is just a whisper. Whatever is happening, I’m afraid that if I speak too loud, it will go away and break the spell.
He stares at me so intently, he must feel it too. He looks at my lips like he wants to devour them. Perhaps he wants to taste me just as much as I want to taste him.
Of course, that would be impossible.
Then again, he is reaching for my face.
Oh, lord have mercy.
With that same searing look in his eyes, he puts his fingers along my cheekbones and slowly trails them up to push my hair behind my ears. His touch is like a torch, setting off fireworks, making my skin come alive.
“It’s too bad about the pact,” he murmurs as he slides my hair behind my ear, rubbing the strands between his fingers. I am so glad I conditioned the shit out of it this morning because from the smile teasing the corner of his lips, he seems to enjoy it.
I softly clear my throat, so conscious of everything now – how close we are standing, the way he’s just touching my hair, the way I’m getting lost in his eyes. “What about it?”
He smiles sadly and takes his hand away. But he doesn’t step back and he doesn’t stop staring at me. “You’re thirty today. And you’re with someone else.”
“So are you. Where is Nadine anyway?” I ask and then instantly regret it. The mention of her name makes Linden stand up straighter.
“She couldn’t come. She had other plans. I’m sorry.”
I’m not. She didn’t come out for my last birthday either. Granted she was in the hospital, but still.
He lets out a long sigh and runs his hand through his hair. “Listen, Steph…” he says and then he comes even closer. The heat between us rises and the tension turns into a strained rope.
“What’s going on?” A voice booms.
We both whip our heads around to see James standing in the hall, his arms crossed. He doesn’t look pleased. In fact, he looks ready to kill the both of us.
Immediately I feel like we were doing something wrong. Maybe because deep down, I wanted to do something wrong. Or maybe because James seems to be both hurt and disgusted.
“Nothing, man,” Linden says. “Wishing the birthday girl a happy birthday.”
James continues to eye us and I consciously take a step back. “Aaron told me that it was all Linden’s idea. You know for the surprise. So I was just thanking him.”
Linden shoots me a killer look and for a moment I have no idea what it means.
Then James raises his brows in shock and says, “It was your idea?”
Oh. So James thought it was all Aaron too. I wonder why the hell Linden didn’t tell him.
Linden gives him an exasperated look. “It isn’t a big deal.” He gives me a quick look. “I’ll talk to you later.” And then he leaves, going back to the party.
Now I’m alone with James and I can’t help but remember what happened exactly one year ago between us. I really hope he doesn’t bring that up.
“What else were you guys talking about?” James asks me. He’s trying to play it cool but there is this air of suspicion in his voice.
“Nothing,” I tell him. “I was just thanking him, that’s all.”
He narrows his eyes at me, enough so that I go, “What is it, James?”
“I don’t know,” he says as he moves past me to the washroom and I remember that’s why I had come down here to begin with. “From where I was standing it looked like a lot more than saying thanks.”
I give him a crazy look. “Well, okay then. Stop being so weird.”
“I’m not being weird,” he says defensively and now I can see those wheels turning behind his brown eyes. He is thinking of my last birthday, I just know it.
“Good,” I tell him quickly before he has a chance to bring it up. I know it would be something along the lines of, “Always getting lucky on your birthday or something like that.” We’d never ever discussed what had happened that night and I want to keep it that way.
I forgo the bathroom, letting him have it, and scurry down the hall back to the kitchen where I promptly fill up on more wine before returning to the party. By the time my glass is bone dry, I’m feeling pretty good about age thirty and do what I can to shut everything else out of my head.
I don’t think about James.
I don’t think about Linden.
At least, I try not to think about Linden. But when I later find out that he also made the playlist we are listening to, with of all my favorite songs (heavy on the Zeppelin), I can’t help it.
I can’t stop thinking about him.
I can’t stop thinking about the pact.