Fortunately I’m used to getting it from her and it rarely stops me from doing anything.
“All right,” I tell him. “We’ll go home for a bit and meet you there. Eight? I know that place fills up early and I really want to hang out in the shagging wagon.”
Nadine reaches out and punches me in the gut. I let out a small oof that James doesn’t seem to hear.
“See you then. Happy birthday old timer.”
“Fuck off, James.” I hang up and then look at her incredulously. “What?”
“What the hell?!” she exclaims. “You said it was just going to be you and me tonight!”
“Yeah, well,” I say, rubbing my hand along the heavy stubble on my jawbone and avoiding her eyes, “things changed. I feel like going out now.”
“This was supposed to be our night,” she says through clenched teeth.
I frown at her. “Give me a break, it’s supposed to be my night. We just had an amazing dinner Nadine, now we’ll head back to my place for some amazing sex before going out to see my amazing friends.”
“You can forget about the sex,” she sneers.
I raise my palms, immediately on the defense. “Okay, hold up. No fucking birthday sex? That’s not fair.”
“Your choice. Sex or your friends,” she says in a sing-songy voice. She sounds like she’s joking but I know she’s not. She hoards sex like an Italian fat kid hoards Nutella.
“That’s really not fair,” I tell her. “You know I’m powerless against sex.”
“Is that why you want to hang out in the shagging waggon?”
I roll my eyes. “Have you seriously lived here your whole life and never been to Kozy Kar? It’s an SF institution, like Pete’s and the Giants and Kirk Hammett. All the seating in the bar is in old waterbeds and actual cars and VW buses. The ground is made of porn mags. Porn mags!”
“Sounds delightful,” she says dryly.
“It is!” I exclaim. “Come on. I turned thirty, let it be dirty.”
“It can be dirty but it won’t be with me,” she huffs.
Aurgh. Sometimes she really makes me want to pull my hair out. And I don’t want to do that. I have very nice hair and I hear it’s easy to lose at this age.
“Fine,” I concede, knowing that I’m still going to try and leave after we get down.
And it works. Once we’re back at my place, I tear her clothes off and have my way with her. I go for the ass as I always do, thinking I may finally have a shot on my birthday, but she butt-blocks me and I end up coming all over her back. Oh well.
An hour later, when we’re on the couch and I’m rubbing her feet while we watch TV, my phone rings.
“Don’t answer that,” she says.
“It could be my parents,” I tell her.
“But does it say it’s your parents?” she points out and I can feel her glare.
“It could be an emergency,” I go on and answer.
I can hear her grumble “Why doesn’t he just text” to herself and I say to James, “Hey buddy.”
James tells me there are a bunch of people now waiting for me and to get my ass over there or our friendship is over. He makes as many threats as Nadine does, but being the good friend he is, he’s never serious.
I look pleadingly at Nadine. “Can we please go? My best friend would really like to spend my birthday with me. He’ll cry if we don’t. And visa versa.”
“What about your other best friend?” she asks and I note the edge to her words. Though she was friendly with her at first, Nadine has never really been a fan of Steph’s, despite the fact that Steph gives her clothing discounts and has tried to get to know her on numerous occasions.
“Is Steph there?” I say to James.
“Not yet,” he says, “but she’ll be here soon.”
“All right, see you in a few.”
“You fucking better,” I hear him say before I hang up.
“Linden!” Nadine yells, yanking her feet away from me like I’m suddenly radioactive. “I hate you.”
I groan. “No you don’t. And you don’t have to come, I’ll drop you off at your place.”
“Like I’d let you go without me.”
I squint at her, my jaw tensing. I remember to speak with calm precision. “Nadine, there is no letting me do anything. I am my own man, okay?”
I stare at her until she relents.
“Sorry,” she mumbles and I can see her bristling from it all over. Maybe some guys wouldn’t bat an eye at her choice of words but it always rankles me. Nadine has these controlling qualities that I’m really not a fan of. “Fine, let’s just go.”