The reward is sweet. I’m going to marry him. I’m going to marry my best friend, my lover, and so much more. I’m going to marry my Linden and there’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more. So far, this year with him has been better than my dreams, and now that we’re taking the next step, I know my dreams will keep on expanding. It’s not always easy – my job has growing pains and when the tourist sector dips, Linden’s not flying so much out here. Sometimes families are a pain in the ass, sometimes friends are. Sometimes I want to smack Linden in the face.
But through it all I’m learning to appreciate all the grey between the black and white. And just like the Bay Area fog, grey can be absolutely beautiful.
The ceremony ends up being short and sweet, just the way we wanted it; cut the sentimental crap, let’s go straight to the bar. My father gives me away, Nicola and Kayla are my bridesmaids and James and Bram are Linden’s best men. Our officiant is a man that Linden used to work with and he cracks jokes like you wouldn’t believe. Some of them are incredibly lame but at least they make people laugh and let us relax.
Even my ex, Aaron, is here. There were never any hard feelings between us – not like with Owen – and by the end of the evening, when everyone is drunk and breaking glasses and dancing to bad eighties music, I spy Aaron hitting on Nicola, who is once again single. I’m not sure what will come of their connection but I know he’s a good guy and she deserves someone like that…even if his idea of fun is going paintballing.
That said, I know Linden and I aren’t much better on the maturity level. As we slow dance the night away, swaying past James and Penny, his parents, my mom and dad, I know that even though we’re over thirty now, we’re still not as adult as we’d hoped to be. I don’t know if wearing a ring and signing a certificate will change that. But that’s okay. Because as the days go on, I realize life isn’t a linear journey. Sometimes it’s one step backwards, two step forwards and then a jump out to the side. It’s kind of like the “Time Warp,” when you think about it.
Life follows many directions and hopefully, eventually, your mind and body and life and love, all catch up with each other.
I know that I’ll be fine going any direction life takes me – but especially if Linden is by my side.
As the stars come out over the bay, I hold my husband tighter and smile. With Linden by my side, my soul is at peace and the rest of my life…well the rest of my life is just beginning.