I grasp it with both hands, twisting it. “Wait.” The rope stops. I stash the flashlight in the backpack. I’m too afraid of dropping it.
“Okay.”
The rope tightens, and I’m moving. I almost can’t breathe. I bump against the sloping wall, and the rope burns against my skin. Finally, my back rests solidly against the cave wall, and I’m being dragged up through the slanted tunnel.
The rope slips, and I let go to dig my fingernails into the sides of the tunnel. “Don’t drop me.”
“It’s okay,” Saco says. “The rope gave a little. No harm. We’ve got you. We can almost reach you. Hold out your hand.”
I raise one arm above me into nothingness. The rope tugs me a few more inches.
Hands grip my arm, hard. I don’t mind. They pull me the rest of the way out of the hole. They leave me lying there, gasping like a fish out of water. Is this how Dad felt, trapped in the netting under the blue boat? Could he see the sky above the water but not reach it because of the weights holding the net down? He clawed with his fingernails against the wooden boat, but that didn’t save him. The police report mentioned blue paint chips under his nails. He must have tried to save himself. He didn’t want to die. He died so close to the surface, so close to the light, yet he couldn’t breathe.
I feel myself start to cry.
He came to Curaçao last summer for a reason. Even with the note in the book he was reading, he asked Mother to go out in the boat with him. He brought champagne. You don’t offer champagne to ask someone for a divorce. No one would do that. Dad wouldn’t do that. He came to make up, to put the past behind them. He didn’t leave Mother or me on purpose.
“You’re okay,” Kammi says. “Everything’s okay.”
Mother refused to go with him. Does that mean she wanted a divorce? Had she known all along? Kammi’s parents are divorced, but there are worse things. There are worse secrets.
“Can you get up?” Mayur asks. Now his boy voice sounds worried. Maybe Dr. Bindas has already called the police. Maybe Mayur’s worried I’ll tell his father about how he touched me. I won’t, though. I wanted him to tell me. I wanted him to touch me.
“Yes.” My voice comes from somewhere.
“Let me help you,” Loco says. He and Roberto both help me up, and they untie the rope. My muscles are starting to ache. My head buzzes. But I’m going to be okay.
Outside the cave, I blink in the harsh light, unable at first to focus. I inhale deep, long breaths. Glad to be alive.
Kammi speaks first. “You look awful!” Then she clamps her hand over her mouth. They don’t teach that in Atlanta, to be so frank.
I touch my head. There’s a small bump.
Mayur groans. “Can we just say she slipped on the trail?” He refers to me as if I’m not standing there, as if we didn’t touch in the cave.
“You mean not tell Dr. Bindas what happened?” Kammi’s mouth drops open.
“It might be best,” I say as I look down at my dirty arms and scraped skin. I don’t want to disappoint Dr. and Mrs. Bindas. I don’t want to tell Mother what happened. “Except I’m covered in mud.”
“There’s a stream back there. We can say you fell near it,” Loco says.
“And that you slid, and we had to pull you up with the rope.” Mayur’s into his story. I wonder if he knows my fantasy earlier of pushing him off the trail.
Chapter Twenty-Six
IN THE END, we tell Dr. Bindas everything. Well, not everything. Just about the forbidden cave and my fall. As soon as Kammi mentions my accident, Dr. Bindas goes into medical mode. Making me lie down, he even forgets to be angry, forgets that he yelled at us, shaking his cell phone in his hand as if he tried to call us. He checks my pulse and my eyes to see if I have a concussion. He feels both arms and legs, searching for breaks. These are injuries he can do something about.
Satisfied I’m mostly okay, he stands and helps me up.
“We’re walking down now. Boys, single file. In front of me, so I can see you.” Dr. Bindas is starting to act angry again; I can hear it in the way his voice darkens now that the panic is over.
We walk slowly, stopping every fifteen minutes to make sure I’m okay. I don’t mind. My whole body is becoming so sore, I can’t walk any faster. Dr. Bindas makes Mayur carry my ruined pack. Martia won’t be able to get it clean again.
Mayur and I don’t talk about why I ran and fell. Some secrets are best kept.
Once when we stop, Kammi asks me what happened, what Mayur told me. She holds her watercolor in front of her so it doesn’t smudge.
“There was a note.”