Marley groaned. I could read her thoughts. Be prepared for soy and seitan, baby girl.
Dillon took a deep breath, smelling her fresh scent, the fragrance of fresh and innocent that only lingered when the world was new to us. "When you grow some more hair, I'll show you how to style it. Don't go to a hack like Christoff. Come to your Uncle Dillon."
Finally, it was my turn. I looked upon the little one, so precious and full of life.
"Hey, pretty girl, I'm your cool Aunt Billie-the one who'll take you to the library and help you write your letters to Santa."
I looked at Marley, my sister. My hero. She mouthed the words thank you to me, but I shook them away and responded with I love you.
Damien, Dillon and I volunteered to get the overnight bag we'd left in haste back at the house. It was hard to believe I'd been at the hospital for eight hours.
"I'm starving. Let's stop and get food," Dillon said.
My stomach groaned in agreement, but before I could respond, I heard a voice that sent a shiver down my spine. It came from the receptionist's desk.
"Check again … please."
"Sir, there is no one named Billie Price registered here."
He sighed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "Ma'am, I really need you to check again."
"I've checked three times."
"Check again," he said through clenched teeth.
"Is that Evan?" Damien asked. I could understand the question. He'd lost weight and he was pale.
I approached him with slow steps. His head tilted in my direction. He exhaled a long breath.
"Billie, thank God, I was so worried," he said, rubbing my arms. He blinked rapidly as if he was checking to make sure I really stood in front of him.
"What are you doing here?"
"I went to your house. I waited there for hours. Your neighbor told me you were taken to the hospital."
I realized what had happened. "She gets Marley and me confused. We took Marley to the hospital. She had a baby girl."
He smiled. "Congratulations."
I didn't smile back. I tried to move out his grasp but he embraced me. "You have no idea how scared I was, wondering if you were all right."
Every emotion … despair, regret, sympathy and heartache, washed over with a sudden flood of anger.
"I think I have a very good idea, Evan." I pushed him away from me.
"Billie-"
I slapped him.
"Billie!" Damien said, grabbing my wrist.
"It's okay, Damien," Evan replied, his eyes staying on mine. "Can you guys please give us a minute?"
They looked at me for confirmation, or maybe to check that I was stable enough to be alone with Evan. At first, I didn't think they were going to leave. "Go on without me," I told them.
In my peripheral vision I saw them head toward the exit, but they didn't walk out of the building. I think they were scared I'd do something to really hurt Evan. I might have. The hospital had a wall of windows. A light snowfall surrounded us, making it look like we were in our very own snow globe.
"I'm sorry I slapped you."
"I get it. You were trying to turn me on."
God help me, I laughed. Evan clasped my waist and moved me toward a sitting area. We didn't sit though. We stood there staring at each other.
"I deserved it," he finally said.
"You did. You do. Do you know what I saw today? I saw life happen. It was like being in the presence of a great gift-a miracle. How could you give that up without a fight?" I crossed my arms, my body shaking with rage. "Remember when we were at the library and I said I wanted a man who would die for me?"
"Yes, I remember that well."
"I was wrong. As wrong as I could be. I don't want the man who dies for me. I want the one who lives for me-or at least fights to live. Why won't you do that? Not just for me, but for yourself."
My lip quivered. A violent sob rocked through me, breaking through the last of my strength. He scooped me in his arms, letting me cry against his chest. He rubbed my back. His mouth hovered close to my ear, but it took a few times for me to hear what he said.
"Angel, I'm sorry for what I've put you through. That's not enough, I know, but I promise I will fight for us in every way possible from this day on if you'll still have me. I've read each of your letters a hundred times. I want to try. I want to have the surgery."
My bitter tears dried up. I stilled in his arms.
"Say something."
"I wish you would have told me that before I slapped you."
He released a choked laugh.
He held me tighter and the first swirling snowflakes gathered in the windows. Either my own weakness or his had brought us to our knees, but we didn't let go of each other. I said a silent prayer to every holy deity I knew of and even those I didn't. I silently vowed every Christmas and birthday for the rest of my life to save this man. Please God, save him.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I heard Party in the USA in the cab from LAX to the hospital. I took it as a good omen. I mouthed the words and silently thanked Miley Cyrus for putting me in a positive mood. Evan placed his hand over mine and kissed my temple. A week ago my heart lay broken. Now we had hope. He kept warning me not to have too much, but I kept my glass full with optimism-at least around him.
"I want you to know that no matter how this turns out, I am grateful to your family for everything they've done for me."
I shook my head. "Thank you for saying it, but don't talk like that, Evan."
We walked up the steps to the hospital. Evan was still muscular but he'd lost weight. As the tumor had grown, his heart had to work harder to pump blood. He was often short of breath. I tried to paste a smile on my face-to tell him jokes and keep him in good spirits.
Evan had to have many tests. They separated us for that period. I clutched the paperwork that contained his test results, scans and a medical power of attorney assigning me as his healthy proxy. Derek led me toward the office. It was strange seeing Derek in a white lab coat and hearing everyone refer to him as Dr. Wolfe.
"You'll have to convince Dr. Reddy. Evan's case is complicated. He's almost a medical anomaly."
"Well, I've come armed with arguments."
"If anyone can do this surgery, it's Reddy. He's brilliant. He makes medical anomalies into medical miracles."
"I detect some hero worship."
Derek shrugged, his crooked smile widening. "He's the best surgeon here. I've been honored to work with him." He paused outside the door. "You sure you don't want me to come in with you?"
"No, I can do this. Thank you for everything, Derek."
He kissed my cheek. "Evan's one lucky guy."
"That he is. I couldn't find any surgeons that would even consider his case. The fact that you were able to set this up is a miracle in itself. We're both very grateful."
The good Dr. Wolfe frowned, shaking his head. "That's not what I meant, Billie. He's lucky to have you."
I embraced him. "Thank you, Derek."
Dr. Reddy's office came complete with beige walls and framed accolades. I waited patiently, all the while trying not to jump out of my seat, while he took his time reviewing Evan's charts.
"This is even more complicated than I initially thought." He rubbed his goatee, launching into an explanation that almost gave me a heart attack. "The tumor's location requires an intricate and challenging operation. We'd have to remove his heart and operate on it outside of his body."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I understand your concerns. We're aware of the risks. We've researched them extensively. Please, Dr. Reddy, do this surgery. I love this man. We'll both remember you in every prayer we say."
"That's noble, but-"
And I wouldn't let him get it out. I actually did jump out of my chair.
"We'll name our first child after you," I blurted. He looked shocked, but I kept going. "What's your first name?"
The esteemed doctor's eyes crinkled as he regarded me, his expression boarding on amusement. "Gadhadhar."
Oh shit. "Maybe that'll be the kid's middle name."
He laughed. "Miss Price, I was going to tell you that I will take on Mr. Wright's case."
I hugged the man senseless.
"Make sure you send me a picture of my namesake."
I laughed. "Yes, sir."
Evan was sitting up in bed, sipping an orange juice when I returned.
"Come here," he said, patting the area next to him.