"I believe I've already answered that question."
Feeling his hard girth, there was no mistake I had my answer. His eyes narrowed, turning feral and predatory. I crooked my finger. He gripped my knees and pushed them outward. He moved with such speed that the water waved in his wake.
He lifted my bottom until I was on the rim of the tub. I laid a foot on each side of the bath to keep myself steady, although Evan's hands on my waist did that too. He stroked and rubbed and pressed again, but with his tongue this time. I tugged his damp hair, watching him lap me up, amazed how fucking hot it was to have his head between my thighs. He spoiled me with his gifts. This man really knew how to eat a girl out. He wasn't shy about it, dipping his tongue with trepidation. At the same time, he didn't just go straight for the deep waters like a hostile raider invading new land. Instead, Evan explored. He coaxed. He persuaded. He demanded. He kissed and sucked and flicked and swirled his tongue inside me until I released … until I surrendered. And just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, he did it all over again. I never had to ask him to go down on me. I had to beg him to stop before I imploded.
I pulled on his thick hair even harder. "Please, Evan … come here. Come to me. I want you inside of me."
He worked his way up my body until he stood on his knees, his lips shiny and wet. "I'm so greedy for you that it's gotta be a sin."
He tilted me so there was a gap between us. My upper back pressed against the tile. Then he placed one of my legs around his hip and the stretched the other over his shoulder. He pushed inside me, burying his head against my neck. I arched my back.
"I'm gonna fuck you hard."
Don't we already fuck really hard? Then he moved in fast, penetrating thrusts that made my body tremble in places I didn't know it could tremble.
I clutched his neck. The steam rose between us and within us. His fingers dug into my hip. Even in the primal moments where all we sought was satisfaction, there was something tender about it. I lost myself in that span of time, shredding every ounce of control. Relinquishing it to him gladly, asking-almost begging-him to take me to new places. As my body shook from my climax, his mouth searched out mine. His tongue followed. I tasted his flavor … our flavor. I breathed his breath. I swallowed his moans.
I would never be full.
* * * *
We sat cross-legged on the balcony of our hotel room, an empty pizza box and a half-finished bottle of merlot between us.
"We should talk about what happened with Chris."
"What about it, Billie?"
"You shouldn't have kept me in the dark. I had no idea that's what you were going to do."
He played with my hair. "I'm sorry. That was unfair to you. I figured I'd just hand him the envelope and we'd leave. It ended up being much more than that."
"It was nice what you did. I think Chris was right about the timing."
"I hope so."
"Can I ask you a truth?" I held up the bottle of wine, shaking it slightly.
"Shoot."
"Why didn't you go to Sri Lanka?" I held my breath, waiting for him to answer.
His head shifted toward the wine and back at me. I sighed, handing it to him. He shook his head. "I don't need it."
I expelled a long breath.
"That last trip to Orange Beach-the one I told you about."
I nodded.
"My Aunt Lydia called. A pipe broke in her house. Since we were only two hours away, my dad went to help. Owen and I were going surfing. I started feeling guilty that I didn't offer to go with. I caught a ride with these guys heading in that direction. When I got to Lydia's, our rental car was in the driveway but no one answered the door so I went around back."
He winced at the memory. "The patio door was open. Something … some sense told me to turn around and go back, but I didn't listen to it. I found my dad in a position that a son should never witness." His mouth tightened. "She was my mom's sister."
"Evan, I'm so sorry."
He chuckled then, the laugh ripe with animosity. "My mom had said that morning what a terrific man my dad was, going to help her like that. She was clueless. We all were."
"What did you do?"
"I went ballistic. I confronted him. He begged me to calm down. He didn't want the neighbors to hear, but I wouldn't. I couldn't. Then he punched me."
"He hit you?" The anger in my own voice surprised me.
"He missed … but I didn't."
"You hit him?"
"Yeah, I hit my own father. I've never done anything like that. In my family, we called my dad ‘sir' and my parents didn't request our respect, Billie. They demanded it."
"Adrenaline and anger are a bad combination. Under the circumstances, he had to forgive you."
"Will you come here?" he asked, sliding the box out of the way.
He took a swig of the wine. I crawled onto his lap. His muscles were stiff and tense.
"He did forgive, but I'm not sure if that was because he wanted something from me."
"What?"
"My silence."
"He asked you not to tell?"
"The whole ride back. He wanted to tell her and I'd have been fine with that, except he wanted to wait until after Sri Lanka. I wasn't okay with that. I said it's a one-time thing, maybe Mom will forgive you, even though I knew she wouldn't. Turns out, I was wrong."
"She forgave him?"
Evan tightened his arms around me as if he needed to feel me before he could finish the story. "No, it wasn't a one-time thing. The affair had been going on for a long time. He played me some old tune about how they tried to stay away from each other. How he moved all of us to Chicago close to his family, thinking the distance would resolve it, but it didn't. I have no idea why he spilled all that to me, except I figured he never told anyone. Maybe on some level, he was relieved I caught him. Then he has the nerve to say that a man can't help who he falls in love with." Evan gritted his teeth. "I swear if he hadn't been driving, I'd have punched him again.
"I turned on the radio really loud. He didn't try to turn it down. I just wanted him to shut up about his fucking godawful love story for a minute. I thought about how this would destroy our family. We'd never be the same again. I thought about my mom, who'd been talking about this trip non-stop. About Erin, who wanted to go snorkeling. About Owen, who wanted to surf."
"So you agreed."
"Yeah, except I know myself enough to realize I can't be in the same room with my father and fake it, let alone a whole vacation. I told him I'd keep quiet but I wasn't going with them. He tells me my momma's never going to allow that. I say it doesn't matter 'cause I'm eighteen, and that's not my problem anyway. It's his job to convince her, just like he convinced her he was faithful all these years. I left on the train as soon as we got back. That was the last time I saw my family."
I wasn't sure how to comfort him. I wrapped my arms around him and we embraced for a long time.
"Don't blame yourself for any of it, Evan. You were trying to do the right thing in a situation that was so wrong that right doesn't exist. Your father shouldn't have asked you to do that. And you have to know that your chances of changing fate are about as high as your capability of stopping a tsunami."
"I believe that now. I do. I forgave myself."
"For not telling?"
"For not going."
My heart ripped into shreds, and I wished I could have taken all or part of that burden from him. He forgave himself for living. I laced my fingers through his and squeezed his hand, searching for the right words. He wasn't done talking, though, and I had no intention of interrupting him.
"And I'm happy they never knew how my father betrayed us. I like to think that in the end, they were the same. Owen kept his optimism for life and he never lost his loyalty to our father. Erin kept her innocence. My mom died still loving my dad, so there is that." He wiped the tear before it made its descent. "Stop crying, Price. You make me regret telling you."
"Have you ever told anyone?"
His expression turned grim as he nodded. "My silence was like a dam waiting to bust open, and it did. Our extended family from Alabama all stayed at our house during the funeral. Hell, there were plenty of empty rooms. My grandma made this feast. I made a toast with all of them at that table-Aunt Lydia, her daughter and her husband were there."