"I told him it was a phase he was going through. That he'd grow out of it once he met the right girl. I remember the way Owen looked at me after I said that. He wasn't mad or upset. It wasn't until much later that I had a name for his expression. He was disappointed in me."
"Yeah, well, that was a better reaction than my family."
"Chris, I don't have a right to ask but … "
"You want to know what it says."
"Yes."
Chris smiled, his green eyes misting. "Why don't you give me a call in ten years?"
My hand tightened on Evan's and I bit the inside of my cheek.
"You're such a fucker," Evan said.
And I wished it hadn't been so dramatic because Evan's laugh shortly followed by Chris' caused me to let out a huge sigh. Both boys looked at me.
Evan tightened his arm around me. "He's joking, honey."
"Oh."
"Sorry," Chris said. "I have to give him a little bit of shit about this. I'm not going to read it to you because the words belong to me."
"Understood," Evan said.
"But I guess it's a love letter."
"A love letter?"
"More like a crush letter. As in, our bromance is not for show."
"Were you together?" Evan asked.
Chris shrugged this time. "It's hard to say. We hugged a little too long often. We held hands. He kissed me once. We never told each other we were gay. Hell, I'm not sure if I believed it then. Owen was like you. He was the high school quarterback and I was the mascot." Chris looked over at me. "Literally, I dressed up in a bird suit and paraded around the field."
"I was in color guard," I offered.
"I pegged you for a cheerleader, Price."
"Nope, I wore a long skirt and twirled a huge flag-a red flag actually."
"And you still carry that red flag," Evan said, putting his arm around me.
Chris laughed. "Yeah, well, that's still a step above mascot-maybe a half step. Anyway, everyone thought it was strange that Owen and I were friends to begin with. Everyone but Owen, that is."
"Owen always said he was lucky to have a friend like you. He never thought of it the other way around. Chris, I'm apologizing, not just for this letter, which is bad enough, but for not being there for you. I was too caught up in my own pain to recognize anyone else's."
"You didn't owe me anything and I had people to lean on. I wasn't exactly there for you either. You lost your whole family, so no hard feelings about that."
"Care to fill me in on your current feelings on this?" Evan gestured toward the letter, which Chris was neatly folding up.
Chris held the letter against the right side of his head. "If I'd gotten this letter when I was sixteen, my life might have been different. Maybe I would have come out sooner, and not tried to fake a relationship with my now ex-wife."
"I get it," Evan said, his expression solemn and defeated.
Chris moved the letter to his left temple. "Then again, it might have fucked me up even more than I was and I wouldn't have my son. I love my son more than life itself. Maybe it's best not to second and third guess the detours we missed. That'll drive you crazy. Maybe it's enough to be grateful for the places our paths have taken us and the people we bring along for the ride."
Chris winked at me. I smiled back at him and leaned against Evan's chest.
"I appreciate that, Chris." Evan kissed the top of my head. "And I completely agree with you."
"I'll be right back," Chris said, taking our empty mugs. He returned with fresh mugs filled with delicious cold, frothy root beer.
Chris held up his mug. "To Owen, one of the best people I ever knew."
"To Owen," Evan said.
"To Owen," I added, clinking glasses with them.
It occurred to me that maybe Evan did want to share all this with me. Maybe he only had the strength to say it all once, so it was easier to expose these pieces to both of us in one swoop. He said it was a dark place we were going to, but wasn't it in the dark places that we learned to appreciate how beautiful the light can be?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
We stopped in Clarksville, Tennessee, which was about the halfway point to Frisco City. Before we left, Evan presented me with a leather jacket and told me to wear jeans to protect myself against road rash. Even with all that, I wasn't prepared for such a long journey on a bike. My legs turned to rubber as I attempted a clumsy dismount. Evan steadied me, removing my helmet first.
"You okay, Price? How are those long stems of yours?" he asked, taking off his helmet.
"Stems?"
"Your legs … how are they?"
"Good. I could use a long, hot bath."
His thick, slightly messy hair made me realize something else. I was feeling amorous … lustful … coital-ready. Oh God, I was horny as hell. After all, I'd had a powerful engine between my legs for six hours, not to mention holding onto him the whole way.
"Well we're in the right place for that."
Was Evan capable of reading my thoughts? Oh wait, he's responding to the bath comment.
I squinted up at the hotel. Its manicured lawns and impressive entrance surprised me. I felt guilty because Evan would have ridden straight through, but he stopped for me.
"We should go halves on this, Evan."
He took my backpack from my shoulders and grabbed our stuff from the small compartment on the bike.
"This trip was my idea. I'm paying our way."
"I wanted to come and the only reason we're stopping is because of me."
"I want to stop too. I can't handle any more miles with you rubbing up next to me."
"Me too, but we don't have to stay here. We can stay at the motel down the street."
Evan flashed an amused smile. "You don't think I can afford it, do you?"
"I don't mean to offend you, but I was wondering about it."
He wrapped his hand around my waist and kissed my temple. "I'm not a rich guy by any means, but I've eked out a decent living. I'm not offended you asked. It's nice that you asked-that you don't expect it. But I got this."
As it turned out, this was a top floor room overlooking the city with a huge two-person bathtub and executive style shower. Evan started the bath as soon as the bellhop left. He unzipped my jacket, pushing it off my shoulders. He cupped my ass then drew me in for a deep kiss, tasting my mouth, breathing my breath, swallowing my moans. He stared at me with such predatory lust that I tried to click a mental snapshot of his face.
"Thank you for coming. You make hard things easier for me."
"I'm glad you didn't say I make hard things softer."
Evan's laugh echoed through the room. "I think that problem resolved itself when your eye healed."
His stripped off his shirt and unbuttoned his jeans, shrugging them off. I lingered over his body, stopping at the sizeable bulge that stood at attention for me … problem solved.
"Strip and get in the tub with me."
All my clothes joined his in an instant. I got in one side and he got in the other. We just stared at each other, our legs tangled together.
"I could look at you for hours and my eyes would never be full," he said in the low, raspy voice that caused a shiver to travel through every cell in my body.
I loved that he said that to me and I hated it too. It was almost cruel that he could say such beautiful things, knowing he was leaving me. I traced his tattoo with my big toe. "Stop stroking me with your words. Use your hands and your mouth and your cock."
"With pleasure." He grabbed my left foot. Washing and rinsing it with the soap before he started massaging it, he slowly worked his way up the length of my leg.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm giving you a massage. I'm starting with my hands, per your instructions."
"That feels good," I said, leaning back in the tub. My arousal grew as his talented fingers stroked, rubbed and pressed into my flesh.
He did both legs. The pressure of his skillful hands soothed and rejuvenated at the same time.
"My turn," I said, when he gently placed my right foot against his thigh.
He leaned his elbows back against the tub. "I won't stop you."
I moved forward and did my best to match his movements.
"Thank you," he said when I finished, his eyes closed, and a pleased grin on his face.
"I'm not done."
His breath hitched as he looked down in the water where his cock stood straight up between my feet.
"Holy hell, girl, you trying me give me a hand job with your feet?"
"Depends. Do you like it?"