The One & Only(137)

“Okay. Thank you, Neil. So much.”

“You’re welcome. But, Shea?”

“Yeah.”

“My advice? You can’t do this to her … I mean, true love is one thing … But short of that, it just isn’t worth it.”


Twenty minutes later, I knocked on Lucy’s door. Neil answered, exaggerating his surprise. “Well, hello, Shea,” he said, looking back over his shoulder, his voice stilted.

Lucy materialized beside him, her expression inscrutable but cold.

“Luce,” I said, looking past Neil. “Can I please come in? We really need to talk. Please?”

She stared at me for an uncomfortably long few seconds before shrugging her permission, then stepping aside. Neil gave me a hopeful look as he ushered me in, both of us following her into their formal living room, the one they never used. She sat stiffly on her sofa, then pointed at the wingback chair across from her, where I took a seat, crossing, then uncrossing my legs. Meanwhile, Neil tried to make his escape, but Lucy called his name, as if she needed reinforcements, and he reluctantly returned, sitting beside her, staring at the floor.

“Thanks for seeing me, Lucy,” I began, marveling that I could be this nervous talking to the person I knew best in the world.

“You’re welcome,” she said, her voice and gaze remote. She wasn’t going to make this easy, that was for sure.

“How are you feeling?” I said, putting my hand on my stomach to indicate that I was asking about her pregnancy.

“Not quite as sick as last time.”

I gave her a small smile and said, “Well, that’s good.”

“Yes. They say girls make you sicker. So maybe this is a boy.” Her voice was prim and matter-of-fact, and I could hear her saying this same thing to a stranger in line at the grocery store, but it still felt like a good sign that she would share anything about her pregnancy.

I nodded and said, “That’s so exciting.”

“Yes,” she said. “It is.”

Knowing that I couldn’t delay the real reason for my visit any further, I took a deep breath, trying to remember what I’d written in my letter. “Lucy, I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you. And … I really do understand how you must feel.”

“Oh?” she said, crossing her arms. “You know what it’s like to lose your mother and have your best friend start hooking up with your father?”

“Well, no …” I said. “Of course I don’t know what that’s like.”

She stared at me, waiting, as I remembered two of the lines I’d written, doing my best to recite them, verbatim. “Losing your mother makes everything that much more difficult and complicated. And I’m sure you feel that we are betraying you, as well as her.”

“I do feel that way. Shea … This is a major betrayal.” Lucy’s voice quivered as Neil reached for her hand but kept his eyes on the floor.

I took a deep breath, then another, and said, “It’s not something I’d do lightly. For the hell of it. I would never go down this road—”

“Go down this road? Is that what you call having a relationship with my father behind my back? Because let’s cut to the chase here. You were sneaking around with my dad behind my back. How do you think that makes me feel?”

Neil slid closer to his wife, put his arm around her shoulder, and said, “Luce. Let her talk, honey.”

She nodded, shockingly taking his advice. “Fine. Go on. You were saying?”

“I just meant … that I would never … pursue any of this in any way if I didn’t genuinely, deeply care about your dad.”

Lucy made a face and shook her head, but I kept going, doing my best to tell her the truth. “At first it was just a silly crush, which was bad enough. Because you’re not supposed to have a crush on your best friend’s father. You’re not supposed to have a crush on someone so much older than you. You’re not supposed to have a crush on a man who just lost his wife. But a one-sided crush is far different from a relationship, and I never would have let those feelings come to light, or even fully acknowledged them to myself, if your mother were still here. I had the deepest respect for her and your parents’ marriage, and would do absolutely anything in the world if I could bring her back and see them together and happy again.”

I stopped and looked at her—really looked at her—and saw something flicker in her eyes. She was really listening now. If not her blessing, at least I had her attention.

“I love your family, Luce. The family you grew up with. The one I grew up with. I loved your mom, and I love your dad and Lawton, too,” I said. “It has always been and always will be the best family I know, and it has been my greatest privilege in life to be close to all of you. I honestly don’t think I’d be the person I am today if it weren’t for your family. You have given me my passion for Walker and football. You have given me role models for what it means to be good parents, siblings, spouses, friends. You have all supported me over the years and taught me so much about loyalty, honesty, integrity, and commitment. And I will remain forever grateful to you for all of these things and so much more.”