“Not at all Col, I’m just grateful that at least a few of the rooms will be completed by Elysium by then. I’d have been much happier James had waited until the end of the year though, to launch them as a job lot.”
“I understand doll but once the word is out, people will come in their flocks to fuck!” He curtsied at his clever play on words and I scrunch my nose at Jackie’s raised brows.
“Ok but perhaps focus more on the food you’re to serve than the clothes you’ll be wearing - that’s your thing. You’re such a good party planner - less toad of toad hall and more toad in the hole Hun.
“Bitchy bitchy, but you’re probably right. I suppose I could lose the lime green cravat.”
Jackie and I share a synced ‘really, just the lime cravat’ eyebrow raise but then burst into laughter when he throws out another camp quip. “I can definitely put the toad in any hole though, baby - it has laser beam direction this thing!”
I give up - he was a dirty camp bastard and we loved him all the same - yeah the loss of the cravat would make the pink and mustard tweed and tartan combination gel perfectly but instead I choose to smile at him with only affection. Colin was nothing if not batty but that’s why we loved him. He got it right every time with interiors, was an utter master of fabrics and colours but for some reason that didn’t follow through into fashion. And, as I watch him reenacting a scene from Star Wars by gyrating his peddle-pusher encased ‘weapon’, complete with intergalactic sound effects, I remind myself that working with Colin Duttine would never be dull.
“So my darling what is happening with the delicious knight in shining Silver armour? You two Ok now, or are you still moping”
I don’t usually like to bring my personal life to work but the overspill of the past week had been immense and looking up into Colin’s foundation enhanced face, I cave. “We’re fine, Col. We hit a rocky patch or five, but we’re back on track… for the moment.”
“Oh goody - the man is fucking dreamy and is obviously a master in the sac, going by the glow of your skin the past few weeks. After his house party you looked like you’d become a homeless person and I don’t mind saying Jacks and I, well we were becoming a little concerned. I honestly thought it was time to bring in the big guns.”
My obvious confused expression makes him expand further. “Well first I convinced Jamesy to expand The Ashton Soiree into a weekend shindig Babe, figuring that you two needed to be forced together - you’re both workaholics so would never decline. If that hadn’t worked I felt it was time to call Grannie Annie.”
“Shit, Col - don’t do that. I know I had a bit of a wobbly but I’m fine really. I’ve never felt like this before and a romantic life with Sebastian is entirely different to the friendship we used to have. He’s so…”
“…Alpha male. Grrrr.”
“Exactly.” I giggle at his attempt at a manly beast impression, which comes off more ‘camp Tony from the Frostie’s cereal box’, than ‘Mufasa in The Lion King’. “You silly sod.”
“Well as long as he isn’t treating you like shit or I’ll cut his dick off and you know how I love dick. It’d be a shame and such a waste of prime meat, but totally necessary - I’d do it for you boss.”
We laugh together. “Thanks, hun for the sacrifice. I just hope that that bitch Toni is out of our lives for good.”
“What happened to her? Is she still working for Seb?”
I shake my head with a passion. I forget how little I’ve caught up with Colin of late. That week under my duvet now felt like a lifetime. “Uh uh. Seb got her another position with an architect firm he works with from time to time - just wanted to move her on fast.”
“That was bloody decent of him. I’d have slung her fake lying arse out on the street.” He rests the back of his hand on his hip, teapot style to add drama to his statement.
“I have to agree, but Seb has history with her brother and I think he thought, if he played this one quietly and calmly she was less likely to retaliate…again!”
“I get his thought process but that woman is sooo Maleficent - rotten to the core. You need to watch your back Lu - in case she’s still out for Seb.”
“I don’t think even she would be that desperate.”
“When Sebastian is the prize, what wouldn’t you do to win him?”
He had a fair point and I wince at the thought of me ever having to lower myself to such a level, just for a glimmer of his affection. “Col?”