“What caused the internal bleeding?” Mac Myers asks Dr. Haines, concern etched across his face.
“Mr. Myers, perhaps we can discuss this is private.” The doctor’s eyes dart back and forth between the intimate group of family and friends gathered around her, desperate for information.
“No, no, you can say what you have to say in front of everyone here. We are all Lucia’s family.”
“In that case, this will be hard to hear for all involved, but I am sorry for your loss.”
Abby’s sharp in take of breath is enough to set panic amongst us all, but the Doctor continues. In fact I hear my own curse under my breath.
“Ms. Myers was around 7.5 weeks pregnant and I’m afraid she suffered a miscarriage during the crash.”
It’s as though everything has gone into slow motion as I hear the last parts of her spiel. “…I’m afraid she suffered a miscarriage. Ms. Myers was around 7.5 weeks pregnant… I’m afraid she suffered a miscarriage.”
She was pregnant? She was pregnant. Pregnant. Carrying our baby.
NO! Why hadn’t she told me? Seven weeks?
She must have conceived the first time we slept together; the morning after pill must have never worked. But that was only five weeks ago, she must have been ovulating - talk about destiny! Oh, Jesus. I’m not sure how I feel right now - in shock? Empty. Angry and utterly devastated for a loss I didn’t really have or know anything about!
“Will she be able to have more children, Doctor?” Mac asks quietly and I hold my breath.
“Like I say, she’ll make a full recovery – just give her time. I’ve arranged for a bereavement counsellor to visit her whilst she’s in the hospital and she’ll have regular check-ups with her gynaecologist.”
That was something at least. The thought of having to tell her, that her choice had been taken away, when she came to - as well as the fact that she’d lost our baby was unthinkable.
I can hear the Surgeon saying her goodbyes in the background and her hand on my arm and mutter of, “I’m sorry for your loss.” I’m too floored to speak.
“Oh, Seb lad - come here.” Nina’s perfumed embrace is supportive and unexpected. “She’ll be OK now. We’ll get her through this. I’ve a serious case of déjà vu here - just so sad about the circumstances.”
“She lost our baby.”
“I know, son, but you can’t think about that now. She’s alive - and that is the most important thing. Did you know she was pregnant? I certainly didn’t. I wonder if she even did with her periods?”
I look up everything hazy and suddenly remember Finn – in all the rush I’d never given one thought to him. I’m appalled at myself. I think I remember Lu saying he was with Niall?
“Where’s Finn?”
“He’s fine, son, don’t worry he came back from Niall’s and I asked Suzie & Gino to come over to ours and look after him. Suzie wanted to come to the hospital with us and leave Gino with Finn but with what’s happened I’m so glad she didn’t – she would have been so upset and it wouldn’t be good for the bab...”
She stops herself just in time and looks up at me sadly, her green Lucia eyes so warm and comforting and I nod in understanding. Suzie was five months’ pregnant herself - this would have been hard on her to deal with.
“Look, I’m going to take a minute to process all this if that’s ok - you and Mac go and see her first and then I’ll go sit with her.”
“You sure - Nathan, you’ll look after him?”
“No probs, Mrs. M. Abby and I will be here. I promise.”
“I know you will.”
I pull myself together as Abs and Na hug me in quick succession before I excuse myself for some much-needed fresh air. I’m claustrophobic from the web of emotions wrapped tightly around my mind and clawing at my heart.
Lucia was pregnant, no had been pregnant with my baby, and some bastard had taken it all away from us in the blink of an eye. When I found out who’d done this, they would fucking pay.
Counting to three, I look down at my feet and try to maintain my breathing. My nerves are shot to pieces. I knew she was OK - over the worst of it - Nina had told me as much and Abby and Nathan. They’d all been providing me with regular updates, along with the medical team as I handled the Police and obtained as much information in relation to the accident as I could. I told myself it was for Lu - for her insurance purposes but the reality is, now that I’ve got that evidence I wanted the facts just as much if not more for my own needs - there was no fucking way I was going to let this one go.