“How can you be so fucking selfish to be thinking about sex at a time like this? Your girlfriend is in God knows what state and all you can think about is your bloody permanent hard-on!” Because with you and Lu, love sex, friendship, companionship are all the same - you are one. She is The One.
In frustration at both myself and the unbelievable situation I take a breath, and try to remain calm, flattening the accelerator to the floor and skipping lanes on the dual carriageway like a demon. The unknown is what’s killing me right now.
I turn off at the next exit - right, nearly there now.
“Please God, let her be OK.” I offer my prayer into the dark empty Ranger Rover, looking across at the passenger seat where I first realised that she was more than a conquest.
I’m not a church goer and I’ve rarely prayed in my lifetime but I’m fucking praying to whoever is up there now - holding the cards. If you are real, if you do exist, please let Lu be OK. I’ll do anything you ask of me. I can’t lose this woman and when I see her, I’m going to make sure she knows how I feel. I fucked up - big-time. The last time we saw each other we were arguing and tonight was supposed to be the night that I resolved that. Tonight I was going to make it all right.
Please give me that chance to correct my mistakes. I’m begging you.
I won’t lose her. I can’t.
There’s never a fucking parking place when you need one! Come on mate - move! I angrily beep my horn and grimace at the idiot reversing their lime green Nissan Micra out of a spot, inch by inch.
About bloody time! Squeezing myself out of the car, with barely any breathing space on either side of the space I’d wedged myself in to, I head straight for the Accident & Emergency department entrance, which is currently blocked by an ambulance unloading some poor ailing individual.
Except, as I near the doors, I feel the colour drain from my face; chills blasting over me as I watch that poor ailing individual lifted from the vehicle, covered in blood, an oxygen mask and air bag covering their face and hiding them from me - but not quite enough… Oh. My. God - Lu.
In a state of shock, I listen to the paramedics talk to the doctor who meets and greets them, reeling off all manner of statistics; her vitals, what’s happened etc etc. I don’t catch most of it, don’t understand any of it but I can tell from their grave faces and her unmoving body that she’s in bad shape.
“RTA, white female, late twenties. Name: Lucia Myer’s…..”
I rush forward as they head through the automatic doors. All I want to do is take her in my arms. I know that these people are just trying to do their jobs but I hate that these complete strangers have their hands all over her.
Her beautiful face is peaceful and serene, despite the horror picture going on around her. She appeared like sleeping beauty before true love’s kiss, but my kiss wouldn’t wake her and it won’t supply her with the much-needed adrenalin boost she needs to come-to. It won’t heal the nasty looking wound on her temple, or fix the odd looking angle of her wrist. Christ, she looks so vulnerable. I can’t bear it. I can’t believe that someone would do this to her and not stop to help - do this to us?
Was it really only an hour ago we were talking about going to bed and forgetting about food?
Christ - I should have been with her. The last thing I said to her was about bloody chicken… oh and fish and chips for fucks sake! Please let me have told her I love her - I think I did - didn’t I?
One of the paramedics stops at the main Reception to book her in, but the team continue to wheel her straight through to an examination room and I follow without question - there was no way I was leaving her side. A nurse questions who I am, I give her my name without looking at her face, my arms folded and eyes on Lu at all times. As an afterthought, I inform her of our relationship and she walks away. Good - I can’t be doing with anyone stopping me being with her right now. There’d be hell to pay!
I watch from a distance as they wheel her into a bay and she’s lifted from the gurney on to a narrow bed. Her clothes are cut from her body and I raise my hand to my mouth as I see the damage already beginning to show across her skin - she was battered and bruised and looked so God damned defenceless, I could break down. Be strong man - you can do this.
A doctor lifts her lids, one at a time and flashes a light into her eyes and nurses clip apparatus to her arms and legs. Then I see that blood is being taken - finally - here I am helpful at last.
“Her blood type is A Rhd negative - I know, as I’ve had to give her my blood before. I am the same. If you need it, I’ll donate. Her dad is the same type too.”