I have so many questions for the beautiful woman tucked in beside me, her soft body snuggled against mine. Why won’t you tell me what is really bothering you? What is stopping you from truly embracing us? Why won’t you let me in? What happened between Dubai International Airport and dropping you off at your house on Sunday night? Why did you fuck me into oblivion in the cinema, let go of all your inhibitions so beautifully and twenty minutes later withdraw from me as though my touch repelled you?
I’m driving myself mad with all the conflicting thoughts parading around my head, all with no obvious answers, just more murkiness and no way of getting myself out of the fog. It was impossible and I was irritating myself further with every second - I’d officially become a member of the opposite sex and grown a vagina, the amount of procrastinating I was doing over my feelings and emotions - I check under the sheet, nope, still got a dick. I need to get a grip, seriously!
She’d allowed me upstairs, and back into her bed. We’d dried off and I’d made love to her like it was the first and last time - pouring my heart and soul into it and when we came together and she shouted my name, I knew she was mine. I feel it but I also know her and there is something missing - something she’s not sharing with me.
It was a first for me to be staying with Finn asleep on the top floor of the terrace; a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have felt comfortable with it; now it felt right and as I watch Lu sleeping beside me and I look around the room, so feminine and so her, I consider the demons she’d had to tackle to let me do just that; to allow me be to here, as man of the house with her and Finn and it warms me.
We can do this. I’ve fucked it up big time in the past but we can make this work and I’d move heaven and earth for this woman, to become a family to achieve that. She is my life; my everything. I don’t care how much of a wuss I sound - it was true.
I kiss her head and wrap my arms around her, spooning her, my chest to her back and we settle in for the night; her fresh scent fills my nostrils and I inhale deeply.
This was what I need. Contact. Skin on Skin. Lu. Only Lu.
I’d had major withdrawal since we had spent so much time in our secret hideaway heaven. For all intent and purposes we’d been living together and now that we were home, I realised I didn’t want that to end. She loved me I knew that. I don’t want her in one house, whilst I ache for her in my own abode. I wanted her in my bed at my disposal every night and every morning. I wanted to go to bed with her kiss on my lips and wake with her face, the first thing that I saw.
She is it. She’s the one and this weekend I’m going to ask her and Finn to move in with me.
“Night, Lu!”
“See you in the morning, Col, have a good night - love to James.” I smile and wave in his direction and catch Jackie’s head nudge in the direction of the glass doors and my insides plummet as I glimpse Leo Peterson, about to walk through them. He’d already seen me so there was no getting out of this one. I’m not surprised really - I’d managed to avoid him since I’d returned from Dubai so a visit was bound to happen sometime soon.
“I’m off too, Lu.” Jackie winces, her back to Leo and mouth’s, “Sorry.”
I smile professionally as I stand to meet and greet our guest. “Leo. Lovely to see you.” I put my hand out to shake his and he smiles broadly clasping mine in both of his.
“Lucia. No need for handshakes amongst friends - a friendly kiss will suffice.” Leaning in he plants a cool wet kiss on my cheek and I tense in surprise. I hadn’t seen that one coming, but before I can speak he continues, “How’s business? Good little break?”
“All good, Leo, thank you. What can I do for you?”
He is in his usual black pinstripe suit, which rather than make him appear more businesslike, makes him come across as a member of the mafia. I feel sorry for him as he really did need a woman to take him shopping, as I take in his rose printed tie and red and white striped shirt - it was all a little overkill.
“I was just on my way out and I wondered if you had time for a quick drink? We could nip to the The White Horse for one?”
Why? “Oh that’s so kind of you, Leo but I’ve got plans for tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. I’m out to Sebastian’s for dinner.”
His eyes narrow ever so slightly but he quickly recovers and plasters a smile across his thinnish lips. “Does he cook? I would never had had him down for a cook?”
Really why is that Leo? I wish he would rise above this pettiness, which seems to be showing more and more as I get to know him better. “Oh yes, Sebastian is an excellent chef - he trained in France, during one of his long sabbaticals out there.” Did he fuck but it was worth the white lie to see Leo’s blood pressure rise dramatically and taint his cheeks uncomfortably.